Markets Zoom Higher Again, Spearheaded by Retarded Oil Stocks

Wouldn’t it be funny if oil went back to $100? Oil stocks raced higher today. I mean, these things really took off, leaving boring REITs and bonds in the dust.

Stocks rose like Jesus from the tomb, by triple digits, to ingratiate all of its disciples who have been patiently waiting for the turn.

One could make the argument that stocks rose after the asshole, Lockhart, said the Fed should be patient, opting for a more dovish outlook on rates. Understand something, these are the most ridiculous trading days of your lives. You will reflect upon this era, pre-apocalypse, when the Fed would run around the country giving speeches, designed to trick and fool the public. I imagine, sometime in the future, these Fed heads will be brought up on charges, by the people, exiled from America–forced to walk on the other side of the wall, in the ravenous lands of Mexico for food and shelter.

I know, everyone made money and Le Fly is living out his days like a monk, in the house, smoking from his estate pipe. But you have to understand, I do not want to trade back and forth, to and fro, like some sort of paradiddle. Life has grander designs for House Fly, than to partake in a clownhouse with a bunch of baboons.

I am eating a mango now and becoming quite annoyed by it. The little strings are getting stuck in between my teeth, which is going to force me to go floss for the next 30 minutes until each and every fiber has been removed.

Also, it’s time for me to go to the gym, where I will attempt to injure myself through the lifting of things too heavy for my frame.

NOTE: I am not totally out of the game of stock picking. I have a portfolio running in Exodus, recently updated. One stock is up 65% since I added it and another is +15%. They’re some of my top thesis picks, heading into the elections, so join the halls of gentlemen in Exodus and absorb the expertise from a superior being.