iBankCoin

S&P Global Market Intelligence: Prepare to Behold the Worst Earnings Since the Financial Crisis

You’re literally the guys playing the violin as the fucking Titanic cracked in half and descended into the cold, murky, waters of the Atlantic.

According to the book-worms at S&P Global Market Intelligence, earnings for Q1, 2016 are on pace to donkey-punch its shareholders and catapult their dead, diseased corpses into foreign cities for immediate incineration.

Earnings will, inexorably, fall hard, by as much as 7.9%–led lower by energy. Incidentally, energy will post its first loss ever. That’s ever with a capital E.

Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure the financial heavy S&P will bail out the earnings parade, no?

Actually, the opposite will occur. Investment banks are nose-diving, headlong, into cement pools–vacated of any semblance of water. Everyone is heading towards their very worst earnings since the Great Recession, a singular great reason to barrel into idiot stocks careening towards annual highs.

Tech?

Heading for a -5.9% earnings decline for Q1.

Try again.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

9 comments

  1. dragun

    Thus far, it just goes to show you who the real hedge fund managers are once the tide goes out.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. zephler

    record high short interest will save the market?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Dr. Fly

      it’s a circle jerk.

      Others will say ‘all that matters is price.’ Until the indices nose dive in heart stopping fashion and everyone looks at each other wondering how it happened and why no one saw it coming.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • el rey de cucamonga
        el rey de cucamonga

        Meanwhile they will buy like lemmings for weeks, making us all wish we had the cajones to bid this crap higher and higher, knowing full well it will collapse like a shebang in the face of a tsunami. It is all about The Thrill, and there is nothing we can do about it.

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. Marc David

    FB Live is coming.. We’re all saved!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. wisprjet

    When I first logged into Exodus, back in February this year, I was appalled to see how bad the earnings and debt persisted stock after stock. I looked at over 4000 stocks, and ended up with a handful that I felt comfortable investing in. Even those I’m not sure about….

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • it is showtime

      Awesome comment. Thanks.

      I’ve been saying forever if more were proactive, looking, calling out, (especially those of older generations), the charade would not be able to persist (as easy), yet the eventual normalizing (or bubble relief) just. gets. bigger

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. dae42

    Stock picker’s fantasy market.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. btn

    Don’t worry, good ole stabel utilities will bail us out…. oh, wait…

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"