The Degeneracy Has Only Yet to Begin

I’m not done buying the market. We’re going to make scores of coin in shippers, tech and biotech, over the next weeks and months to come.

Your wives will accept your new status as a “multimillionaire” power mogul and permit you to keep a harem in the west wing of your manor.  Gone with the spartan lifestyle of a man clipping coupons, arguing with the deli manager over the price of your turkey hero, in with unchecked hedonism and the absurd. Why, you won’t even need to ask for extra lettuce.

A new age of electric break-dancing on your marble floors will descend upon you–a mulled wine lifestyle if you will.  Parties will be thrown, in your honour. Elected politicians will beg for your endorsement, all the while you blow cigar smoke into their stupid faces. Limousines will wait for you outside of your favorite eatery, causing traffic jams, yet the police say nothing because you have them on the payroll.

All of this, AND MORE, will be yours, if you are willing and able to accept that Benjamin Bernanke is your lord and savior. I know this is hard for you to accept, especially the bible thumpers out there, fixing to embrace Jesus amidst fire and brimstone– but it’s true.

Have faith in the Federal Reserve, leverage your accounts to the maximum, and live like a king beating on thieves for trying administer ‘unauthorized cinnamon’.