iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,433 Blog Posts

The Church of Wall

I’m at new highs for the year, up another 1.7% for the day. Again, I am not bragging or trying to demonstrate how much smarter I am than you (which is true, but not the point). We are all blessed with this perpetually driven ATM machine. In order to benefit and improve your lives and the lives of the people around you, all you have to do is have faith.

Is that too much to ask?

It’s actually pretty simple. Whenever the market goes down, ignore everyone who espouses the opinion that “we are heading much lower.” Block them from your Twitter feed and kick them down your tenement stairs, if given the opportunity. Believe in the Bearded Clam and the people who know that the stock market is the only thing left in America worth saving. Do not invest in America; buy its stocks.

Heed the advice of seasoned pros. In this day and age (extra whipper-snapper), you can find said advice online, instead of having to whore yourselves around town–at the local Edward D. Jones, who, incidentally, read iBankCoin for picks anyway. I like to think of iBankCoin as a monopoly for sound investment ideas, but it’s not true. There are many talented young and old people sharing opinions around the web, most of whom I do not know. But I know my people and they’re trustworthy, otherwise they wouldn’t be here.

Bow down and beg for the forgiveness that your tepid bank accounts crave and repent for your sins against The Church of Wall, and you too shall be blessed with the fruits of somebody else’s labour, fit for a King–but suited for a pleb.

Top picks: IMMR, GOGO, TRLA and POWI

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13 comments

  1. j livermore

    The PPT really is like a very exclusive country/hunting club where only the most informed gather to smoke fine cigars and trade ideas. Our wives gather on the perimeter during gentlemanly conversations thanking the good lord above they were lucky enough to fall into such a life along side their dashing man. He keeps the money rolling in and she services him willingly while taking even more joy from the experiance than her husband. When the children of members enter the club, it’s as if a switch is flipped, and the use of foul words are automatically stopped. This is most likely due to the great number of activites provided by the club’s staff to keep children active and engaged during their entire stay. This respet for parents allows them the opportunity to observe and reflect on their children’s growth and the deeper meanings of life. The PPT is an experiance far beyond anything I ever imagined. So thank you sir Fly for founding such an institution which will surely endure centuries beyond our existance.

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  2. gordielachance

    “comment awaiting moderation” – it appears other 1980’s movie characters are unwelcome inside these walls.

    While it is common knowledge that Fly despises certain characters from David Fincher movies, it is a little known fact that he also dislikes competition from movie characters who out gross him in the same year of conception…

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  3. dan

    You still holding AMBA into earnings tonight?

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  4. dan

    never mind I should learn to read….

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  5. duckkell

    IMMR 3.42% so far…getting all haptic in my britches

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  6. ripper

    HAIL LE FLY!

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  7. matt_bear

    you’re very heavy into tech stocks. How much punishment did you take from the dot com bust? Is it a faded scar in which you wear for your remaining days?

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  8. gatorsun

    Fly..keep giving me free money picks..very nice indeed..always ahead of the rest

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