iBankCoin

THE IT ‘PROFESSIONAL’ IS TO BLAME FOR NASDAQ OUTAGE

All of these Steve Jobs wannabes mucked up the NASDAQ system and have, once again, tested the patience of investors. All of these “glitches” are avoidable, only if these jackasses would do their jobs. Don’t blame the CEO of NASDAQ or anyone in upper management.

The guy in the cold room, who is supposed to be manning the servers, instead is working on a new APP for Google Glass, is to blame. These jackasses, who mostly hate the corporate environment, likely despise working for NASDAQ, since it’s “Wall Street.” Them and their filthy beards and stupid t-shirts. I want to punch every single person in the NASDAQ IT department in their face.

I am sure these “professionals” will try to explain how this was “unavoidable” and blame it on some obscure thing, since these people never like to accept blame. The truth of the matter is, these $100 per hour bozos are inept, incompetent and without top hat.

Dorks

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36 comments

  1. matt_bear

    one of them forgot to wear their metal slap bracelet and static shock fucked up the server.

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  2. The Fly

    It looks like that guy on the front page pic is reading iBC.

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  3. Dan

    Actually the IT folks are the ones who created the trading platforms which allows you to place trades and execute in less than a second. They are ALSO the ones who thought of and built in many features which makes trading easy. It’s the suits who stand up there after all the work is completed and hiJack all the credit as always. Mouthpieces…just that, mouthpieces who claim all the credit. Screw the mouthpieces. The grunt workers just get the blame from the clueless public, who just believe Mouthpieces!.

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  4. J Livermore

    Dorrito stuck in disk drive. (extra cheese)

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  5. Hawaiifive0

    You probably should not have used Jeremy’s picture in that post.

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  6. Cascadian

    Putting in some low bids to see if they work on startup.

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  7. bugatti

    Ha, King Icahn is trading off of material non public info now.

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  8. J Livermore

    King Jeremy !!

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  9. gatorsun

    Fly zapped that toad…well done

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  10. J Livermore

    Fly,
    I am now using every service advertised on your site and my life has improved exponentially.

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    • The Fly

      Just be sure to click on all the ads. The proceeds of the iBC ads is directed towards our Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) programme, whose purpose is to destroy the small nation of N. Korea.

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  11. Bubsy

    U sound dehydrated

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  12. tradingmantis

    Top 3 suspects for Nasdaq outage:

    1) Carl Icahn
    2) Steve Cohen
    3) Heisenberg

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  13. Matanzas

    I thought most IT work was out-sourced to India.

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  14. matt_bear

    ONVO dip. finally.

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  15. Flyaway18

    I was thinking about your last column and being patient. I look at GTAT and RBCN and see how ahead of the crowd you were in getting into these.

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  16. Mister Jinx

    Looks like Icahn just announced a large position in TLT

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  17. TraderCaddy

    I bet Jeremy would be will to fix the NASDAQ system for a lifetime supply of Lutefisk and meatballs smothered in gravy

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  18. Hog

    Fly, no offense but the guy in that pic is exactly what I picture u look like, lol just saying….maybe without the cig, ur prob more of a chew guy

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  19. StocksRider

    I have been told that the IT guys at NQ were trading bitcoin on the platform when this shit happened.

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  20. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Quote stuffing caused the outage. Basically they created a DoS on the feed. To stop this its simple, ban the cactus fuckers for an entire month by pulling their feed. It will immediately stop.

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  21. Bottom_Feeder

    As an IT Developer and IT project manager I have to say this is the funniest shit I’ve read all day.

    “The guy in the cold room…” roflmao! Oh, man this whole rant is classic and going up on my board.

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  22. PositiveCarry

    NASDAQ Management: “Hey IT, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?”

    NASDAQ IT Guy: “Have you tried turning it off, and turning it back on?”

    NASDAQ Management: “I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF”

    NASDAQ IT Guy: “Sorry what was that? I wasn’t listening, I’m in the middle of a World of Warcraft raid”

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    • J Livermore

      “Have you tried turning it off, and turning it back on?” hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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  23. Pradeep

    Reality is – The management laid of the IT folks so that they could up-end their bonus fucking assholes as usual and could not figure out what to do when outage happened. So they send one associate to find this IT guy to come back and fix the problem finally…. as seen in many movies 😉

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