My wife signed up our stupid dog for obedience school. On the first day of dog school, the instructor, who spoke with a heavy British accent, explained how she was going to train our stupid dogs. Then, in what I can only describe as being a pleasant surprise, she went to the back to get her dog, who actually looked like a ferocious wolf.
Standing there, with her obedient wolf at her side, she discussed how older dogs (like her wolf) didn’t particularly care for puppies, since “they behave inappropriately.” She furthered: “if your dog misbehaves and attacks my dog, he will correct your dog.”
No one in the audience picked up on her Delbert Grady impersonation but me, I am sure.
She continued: “I will not introduce my dog to most of the dogs here because the bigger dog is always at fault. If my dog is attacked, and corrects your dog, he will be to blame, so I just avoid the situation altogether.”
If you insist to know, my dog failed miserably on her first day, leading the disciplinary British instructor to inform me that she’d “starve the dog for a day or two in order to properly motivate her.”
DEVELOPING…
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Please tell me her last name is Stark….
Nothing wrong with British female disciplinarians.
I am training my new,young German Shepherds to eat any young deer they happen to find as a start, so can tell your trainer and her dog to kiss my ass with that BS. Buy a book on “clicker training” ,most Hollywood people use that. and fire that dumb bitch. “>
The hell with fancy schmancy obedience techniques. All you need is a stern voice and a rolled up newspaper.
Anything else is a waste of time and money and a poor reflection on the owner.
Going to dogschools is like wearing shorts.
White people problems
Sick the Longshanks on that English byoooooootch!!!!
Most shock collars are equipped with 6 levels of “correction”
What sort of dog does The Fly allow in his household?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITtiKO_fBaI
I tend to act carefully around the large, unneutered dogs of lesbian animal trainers for my own safety…..
The Dow was down yesterday! So forget training him, get the dog ready for ‘World War Z’ so he can hunt down zombies. Start building your ‘anti-zombie apocalpyse’ wall like they did in the movie!
You’ve always been the caretaker.
LOL! Best comment ever.
+1
you win
omg, I had to Google “Delbert Grady”, I had no idea the reference. The Shinning, BTW I just finished a 14 minute You Tube Vid on the analysis of the his Twins and the use of Blue Color Walls in the film. Now I know more then I ever wanted to know about them..lol. Good Dog.
I didn’t either and I would bet The Fly was the only one to pick up the impersonation. No idea what he was talking about until I watched the “Corrected” scene. Now I’m ROFL and I want to read the book.
I remembered the scene once I saw it was from the Shining. LOL, only the Fly would have remembered his name.
Senior Tropicana,
You are in the company of all of us assholes throughout the entire week.
Why on earth would you surround yourself with more assholes on the weekend?
Who starves a dog for motivation- that’s bullshit!
Cats rock!
I always had dogs, but this time we got a cat from the shelter.
It was a Manx breed (without a tail) and has as close to a dog personality that a cat can get.
Best pet I have ever had and a real close buddy to me.
He has gone nose to nose with bear cubs and deer in our backyard.
They also keep away the evil spirits.
How many times you ever read about a stupid cat rescuing a baby from a burning building? None, that’s how many. Proof positive that dogs > cats.
okay… that’s funny.
Cats are smart. They rescue the entire family:
http://www.examiner.com/article/14-week-old-kitten-saves-her-family-from-their-burning-house
Thank you for the link Paul.
How many cats accompanied the SEAL team during their raid on bin Laden’s compound. ZEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOO.
http://www.polderdash.com/2011/05/navy-seal-dogs-named-revealed-in-bombshell-leak-of-bin-laden-raid/
don’t like cats……but do like pussy
o(^_^)o
Seems to me starvation would just motivate your dog to bite the larger dog more. Then again, I am no dog whisperer.
Fly – what kind of dog you get ?
Yorkie bichon
What color purse do you carry her around in?
pink
You need a new trainer. I have a 10 month old coton detulear and had a trainer come to my house once a week for 8-10 weeks.
Did a great job. Just reward the dog with treats for proper behavior.
There are some methods besides just treats to get them to figure things out but this trainer sounds like a whack job.
Also, training classes with other dogs may help to socialize your dog with other dogs but you have a limited time for that. They wont really get trained in commands from these classes. Once they get to a certain age, 3-4 months, the socialization process is done and if they are loners, they will stay that way.
My dog, BAC, has fleas and is incompetent. Its own online banking system is and has been in total failure mode. They don’t need obedience training they need extinction of the species.
Fly, you need to write a book or sign up for a reality TV series. Your life is funnier than a Seinfeld episode.
On a serious note, do you put any stock into Peter Schiff’s opinions? Just read a long Forbes article where’s he’s predicting general collapse and mayhem ahead.
I will write a book oneday, when I feel I’ve accomplished enough to make it worthwhile to the reader. Too many people, who’ve accomplished zero, are writing books. It’s pathetic.
When I write one, it will be an epic.
Peter Schiff has been calling for that since, I believe,1990’s.
Thx. I’d heard the name but never really read much of his stuff before.
Peter Schiff has been talking about the fundamental issues facing the economy for a while and his arguments are sound although things haven’t moved as quickly as he might have suspected.
He was right about the housing and the subprime issues a few years back and I suspect he will be right again but while the fed and other central banks keep the balls in the air, Peter will appear to be wrong.
I don’t see a way out of the mess but as for timing of when it will all end and how it will go down, who knows.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2I0QN-FYkpw
Good stuff. You’re a born storyteller.
I can’t believe your giving your dog two inch thick rib eye steaks.
No wonder she doesn’t listen.
Mr. Fly, post a pic of the little critter, pls
Get instragram app and follow me. I posted one there a few months ago.