Fuck With Turkey, Get the Stuffing Kicked Out of You

I haven’t bought any TEA, even though I think the ‘Glaucus Report’ is stupid as shit–because risking $4 for $1 (SBUX acquired TEA for $15.5) is a poor allocation of capital. However, should the stock continue lower, led by fucktards in green leotards, I am a buyer. The whole premise of this “Glaucus Report” focuses around pesticides in tea. Will you shut the fuck up already? You lost because the company caught a bid. Whoever was short TEA, did so because they thought SBUX would compete with them via Tazo. Well, guess what fucked face, SBUX bought them and Howard Schultz is thrilled, saying  he “will do for tea what he did for coffee.” He talked about the synergies with Tazo and TEA and how it was a perfect deal for SBUX.

Those are emotional statements and a little pesticide DOESN’T CHANGE THE FUCKING STORY. If a vendor is putting excessive quantities of pesticide, they’ll find new ones. For the love of bankrupted short sellers, THE GLAUCUS REPORT used just 13 samples, conducted at some two-bit lab (which was likely contaminated) and based Jerky Boys-like prank calls for the foundation to put out a story, charging that SBUX would back out of the deal. It’s laughable.

Here is the vid.

You don’t bet against stocks going into Turkey week. Tis the time to be festive, gain weight, and behave like jackasses. The junior traders will be whipped stupid should they oversee trading errors. Therefore, volatility will be contained and markets will drift higher into Black Friday.

NOTE: I’d be a seller of risky stocks on Friday.