iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,555 Blog Posts

EMERGENCY ASSHAT OF THE QUARTER AWARD: $GOOG

I’ve had it with these cute technology companies. The energy conservers over at GOOG just shit the shower, with an impromptu earnings catastrophe, which inadvertently was released without top hat. For the love of bankrupt social media venture capitalists, these companies need to be reigned the fuck in. All of these internet companies are run by children. They’re small fools who play with billions of dollars, generally fucking up their investors along the way.

Granted, GOOG has been a long term winner, despite missing EPS by $1.62 with a “Pearl Harbor” style mid-day attack. But how many other asshat corporations have ruined people? Let’s run down the list: ZNGA, GRPN, FB, LOCK, JIVE, OPEN, BCOV, P, NFLX, AWAY, SFLY, ANGI. I could go on.

The new wave of technology is UN-INVESTABLE. Wait until the companies fire their founders and allow adults to manage them.

In case you were wondering, yes, GOOG is receiving an emergency Asshat of the Quarter award. Congrats.

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41 comments

  1. lol

    Just saw that, glad I wasn’t long, that is absolutely terrible. Traders waiting until end of day to close out trade before earnings got crushed.

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  2. JB

    Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

    UN BANNED

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  3. sspiff

    PENDING ASSHAT QUOTE. Hey dude why did you hit send?

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  4. xxxHuggieBearxxx

    Google just killed me today motherfuckers.

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    • just kidding

      You got googled!
      Maybe you should google how to “un google” your portfolio?

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  5. ruggyup

    “But how many other asshat corporations have ruined people. Let’s run down the list: ZNGA, GRPN, FB, LOCK, JIVE, OPEN, BCOV, P, NFLX, AWAY, SFLY, ANGI. I could go on.” Unless I am sadly mistaken the Supreme Fly made several profitable trades in some of the aforementioned asshats, qualifying him for the legendary ‘chefs’ golden toque’ award.

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  6. bobbin4apples

    can we the people of Le Fly rally a short attack on LNKD? I fucking hate that stock (not the company)

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  7. OG

    Not holding google, but they basically killed the whole market. Ugh.

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  8. JTU

    GOOG just cooled the Markets!

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  9. Bill

    Fly ,

    are you going to hold on to VHC and MCP. Looks like market is reversing.

    Thanks
    Bill

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  10. ecchymosis

    Change Asshat Award to RR Donnelly.

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  11. jimmy_two_times

    GOOG needs to buy a bank so that they can use their loan loss provisions to hit their numbers!!

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  12. bobbin4apples

    $RRD will feel the pain more than $GOOG

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  13. OG

    Added MCP on this dip. ANR also realized it has nothing to do with Google.

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  14. en1gma

    EPIC buying opportunity. I am in with more shares of GOOG as soon trading resumes.

    They also released a $249 Chromebook today. Google fucking owns.

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  15. ruggyup

    For those continuing with self-flagellation over OSG, this article should be interesting, if not revealing:
    http://www.tradewindsnews.com/finance/285411/table-for-two

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  16. TraderCaddy

    And it isn’t even 10/19.
    Always a bit nervous this time of year thanks to 10/19/87.

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    • Metalleg

      I got married on 10/18/87. The next day was a message to me from the stock gods.

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  17. MX2101

    umm…that was before 9:30 AM Eastern time, not Pacific time.

    Pal.

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  18. 'merica

    LNKD to zero!

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  19. joe

    theres absolutely no fear in this market whatsoever

    we are so overdue for a 10% flash crash, its not even fuckin funny anymore

    and i never want to hear a bull cry ever again..ever

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  20. xxxHuggieBearxxx

    Google has cost me a fortune today.

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  21. IBanker

    Whew! I thought you were going to give the asshat to the bankers that brought them public.

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  22. just kidding

    Fat fingers galore… Google fat fingered the earnings released, the market gets fat fingered, the budget will get fat fingered…
    In fact, the only B not getting fat fingered is that B Candy Crowley

    There was an “itch” after the B but Candy ate it along with the whole candy factory.

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  23. lol

    Does trading based on leaked earnings information everyone has access to publicly before official earnings constitute insider trading? Doubt it, but just saying.

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  24. TMoe

    ” everyone has access to publicly ”

    means it is not insider info – dumbass

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    • lol

      obviously, but there were several who got that information before everyone else because it wasn’t given by official usual channels at the same time.

      Otherwise what’s to prevent the guy making a “mistake” and selling it the very second after that information is released?

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      • lol

        Just prior to the moment the purchase or sale is made, leak information when it’s not supposed to be leaked. “plausible deniability”. “oops, I shouldn’t have done that, but information is released now, so I might as well act on it”
        Or
        “Oops, I (the CEO) intentionally/accidentally bankrupted my company and just happened to leak that information early and subsequently buy as many puts as I could get my hands on while the news was available but before the news was widely distributed. Technically the information wasn’t “inside” information as others had access to it, but I was still able to take advantage of the temporary inefficiency and make a boatload before the market reacted”

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  25. TraderCaddy

    Uh Oh.
    The major financials which were holding this tap up with tape and glue have now gone negative and the dollar is up v euro.
    Hang on folks.
    The tradebots are warming up.

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  26. riggedgame

    If anyone thinks the was an “accident” they are delusional.

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  27. xxxHuggieBearxxx

    They got me. The finally got me to go all in after 6 weeks and here comes the drama. Fuck 2012.

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    • wilmer

      You were so close man. I cringed a bit the other day when you said you were close to break even for the year. Jinxed yourself. Sorry bud.

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      • TraderCaddy

        I would hang tough for awhile.
        Piper Jaffray and Citi are keeping their buy and outperform.
        As usually happens there will be a quick plunge (may have already happened) with late comers panicking and then a sharp turn up.
        That may be the time to get out.

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        • xxxHuggieBearxxx

          caddy i’m goign to hang tough through next week…a source i trust says we are going to challenge the highs next week.

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      • xxxHuggieBearxxx

        thanks wilmer, my damage was limited today…..hopefully next week goes better.

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  28. Sloop

    Motherfuckers made my QQQ short way to easy today. Loading up on LF and DIS today also.

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  29. DaveyNC

    Fucking Googlers. Can somebody explain to me how GOOG shitting the shower can crash a f’n coal company? Stopped me out of ANR today, about an hour after I bought it.

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