FLASH: The Facebook Prospectus is Out

First things first, I hope my personal hell hasn’t tainted the rose flavored water that you keep in storage. I like to think my feelings regarding Yelp were transparent and my ominous sense of doom clearly communicated.

The truth of the matter is, I am cosmically cursed. I haven’t made any sacrifices to the Gods for over 6 months and they are punishing me for it, in spades.

The jargon left in the comments section is repulsive and regrettably puported by small minded goat fuckers, who have seemingly escaped my lash.

The mainspring of this post is to serve as a reminder that I have a murderous rage inside of me and will make you pay your “fair share” for disturbing me on a day when my largest position was down 10% on good news. This is the quarter to accumulate Yelp, as they close in on profitability.

You are without top hat.

Tomorrow’s jobs numbers will set the tone. My mood is dark, so I am not optimistic about my prospects in the near term.

The curse needs to be lifted.

A blow up after all.

After all of the drama, the relief of an acceptable earnings release coupled with a muted response in the share price, I am having my head handed to me after all, long YELP. The stock traded up this morning; but I noted in conversations with “The Devil”, something was awry. The stock was trading odd and a big move was on the horizon. Literally, it could have gone either way. Today’s decline doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that sellers showed up and buyers are non-existent. I know that sounds a little too simple; but this story is young and the shareholder base is fickle.

I’ve had my share of blow-ups, several over the past few years.This 8-10% drop in YELP, coupled with the fact that my other positions are flat to down equates to a -2.25% day. That might not sound like a “blow up” to many of you; but -2.25% days are not welcomed around these parts any longer. This was supposed to be the year of flawless winship, accompanied by cocaine dragons and chest pounding gorillas. Instead I get milquetoast. I shot higher by 20% during the first month of the year and slowly but surely I am giving it back, just like last year.

Lo and behold, TDC is at new all-time highs today, formerly a top 3 position of mine.

Here I am, a most humble space alien magician, buying dips in ANR, VCLK and YELP, using the proceeds of a fine company, MJN, to finance degeneracy. On the eyes of Saturn, I will not sell any more grandpa stocks to buy shit. Correction, I am not saying those companies are shit, per se. Let’s just agree that their risk profiles are somewhat in flux.

Off to go hit somebody in the chest with a gravity hammer.

With MJN proceeds, I bought the dip in ANR and carnage in VCLK–way overdone in my opinion.

UPDATE: I am buying this YELP dip.

Took profits in MJN

America is over the single cup server phenomenon (GMCR), as well as losing weight at WTW. We’re also sick of the shit HLF makes, but love some sugar water soda pop: MNST, KO and PEP.

One thing is for certain, we still love AAPL and we hate travel agencies, opting for the online versions instead: PCLN, EXPE and TRIP. YELP is killing it because we don’t trust “professional food critiques.” The reviews that matter are the consensus opinions of the masses, which is why ANGI is of great interest to me.

Natural gas is so cheap, it has caused dementia in the management personal of America’s largest natural gas producer (CHK), leaving them open to a legitimate funding gap next year.

Coal has been killed, partly thanks to cheaper natural gas supplanting it at power plants and a seemingly worsening Chinese economy, leading to weak met coal pricing. Nevertheless, oil is still robust and margins at the refineries are very strong.

Online advertising is allegedly strong; but why is VCLK getting smashed this morning? American’s love to watch movies (RGC), but have grown weary of the sub-par offerings of NFLX. iTunes will crush them one day to dust.

The next big trend is out there, within reach of anyone who is paying attention. I happen to believe that trend is hidden in the cosmetically rich valuations of social networking stocks. Before you know it, their 50%+ growth rates will cheapen the valuations and these stocks will “Priceline” the fuck higher, scorching the shorts, sending those fuckers sheepishly to the breadline.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9GaKRRXgpY

I hope you appreciate the magnitude of this recent iBankCoin home page redesign and understand, with every fiber of your physical being, that it is better than anything you could have ever imagined, let alone create. Having said that, this is only the beginning.

Bloggers in the Blogger Network will receive the same page rank as my own staff. However, such luxuries will come at a great expense. Starting immediately, I am watching you very closely, as you represent iBankCoin, in all of its pomp and grandeur. Should you fuck up or post horseshit with bad syntax, I will fire you.

For bloggers in the blogger network: you now have editorial power to choose front page pictures to accompany your posts. You have access to my personal collection of eclectic pictures, placed on the upper right hand side of the wordpress dashboard. Enjoy them with my compliments.

GONE ARE THE DAYS OF SUB-PAR BLOGS. BEHOLD THE ERA OF ENFORCED EXCELLENCE.

Moreover, we are still in the development stages of creating an iBankCoin economy that will dictate your “rank” on the site, with whimsical income versus expenses spreads– and other fun things to help alleviate the stress this cocksucking market burdens us with. Those things, AND MORE, will be completed inside of the next week. For now, you can see most readers are defaulted as “analysts.” There will be “trainee”, “vagrant” and “prison” (banned fuckers) ranks as well, all done with the utmost care and precision that you’ve grown to expect from iBankCoin.

BEHOLD THE INTRODUCTION OF THE MERITOCRACY.

All posts, aside from me and the 12631 boys, adhere to the laws of chronology. In the center is a “trending” box, listing the top 4 articles posted on the site, over a 24 hour time frame.

Some things never change, however, like excellence.

-Fly, 2012