Check Out My Methods

Good Sirs,

I am here to teach you my methods. I, unlike all of you, am an investment genius. My skills are far and above anything you can fathom, sort of like the non-union laborers at Puma Punku.

As you know, over the past month I, quite stubbornly, placed 25% of my assets in VXX. The rest of my money was held in treasuries/cash. HOWEVER, since late last week, “The Fly” has transformed himself into “an investment genius” again, using a very specific and secret style, not so much different than those Chinese guys doing karate on the teevee.

Over the last week, I am up 17.5% in HRBN, 7% in HEAT, 13% in PWRD (today’s lotto winner!!!) and 15% in FTK. Do you know how I did it?

I took a bunch of charts and crumpled them up real good. I threw said charts into the garbage bin outside and lit them on fire. Out of all the charts (100’s of them), THE ABOVE NAMES WERE UNSCATHED!!! That’s right, folks. I placed fire onto paper and it had ZERO effect on the above names. It’s almost as if the stock Gods themselves were protecting them. So, without hesitation, I bought them with great vigor.

Here I am now, 100% placated and content with my position.

As an aside, there are many Chinese LOTTO winners today. Be sure to tune in this evening for the announcement of today’s winners.

Into le bell, I like inflammable charts and all things to do with QE 2, ya’ll.

Upping my tech weighting here, I swapped out of AKS for some AMKR.

Disclaimer: Everyone wins.

Corn prices are up 17% over the past three days. Carl Icahn is trying to milk the vampires at Blackstone, via taking a DYN stake. And, finally, stocks are going to throw bears into lit fireplaces this morning, as the idea of QE 2 continues to permeate the minds of the deviants on Wall Street.

As an aside, I used to wear “Chinese delivery man” business shirts, that were substantionally smaller than what was needed. They were tight white shirts, short sleeves, donned with polyester stripes. Picture white polyester stripes over white cotton, zero sleeves, and a pencil thin dollar sign tie. Oh, let’s not forget, I once had to borrow Grandpa Fly’s shoes, which were like 5 sizes too small, literally. All of this fine attire was used for my first office gig, when I was a summer intern.

I never worked for Mcdonald’s, like most of you nerds. “The Fly” was conducting business, ever since he was a teenager, albeit dressed like a complete imbecile, replete of any style or cachet.

Fast forward 20 years and I play Chinese lotto at work. There is a certain poetic irony to my life, which, coincidentally, is still better than yours.

I am all about “Gretzky House” living.
In closing, let the games begin!

(The Fly and Ragin’ Cajun showing off their winning lottery tickets)

Today’s CHINESE LOTTO winners were:

CTDC, XSEL, NOEC and KONG.

Please tune in tomorrow and remember to always play Chinese Lotto. Remember, you’re not really poor if you have enough money to play Chinese Lotto.

Note: this message was paid for by your Chinese Overlords.

I am enjoying my recent forays into the land of ignorance, joining you monkeys on the long side. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, or some fancy charts, to throw a few darts at the wall and make money. I bought some more stocks today. Out of all of them, MERU, FTK and HEAT are my favorites. I’m interested in short squeezes and things of that nature. You are interested in charts and squiggly lines. I spit on you.

Do understand and realize, the higher we go, the faster we will drop. It’s very nice and pleasant to sit here, as the balmy market winds caress my face, gingerly dropping $1,000 bills on my desk. Very soon, the winds will be filled with black smoke and bustling metal. When it happens, “The Fly” will be prepared. Until then, I am very busy throwing all available cash into retarded stocks, some more retarded than others.

NOTE: HRBN is still a great arb play here. What is your borrowing rate? After you figure that out, does it make sense for you to lever up and wait for the deal to close (most likely 6 months)?

I bought 30,000 shares of both MERU and PWRD at these levels.

UPDATE: I bought another 30,000 HEAT

Disclaimer: QE 2in’

Yes, I added to FTK, reducing my basis to $2.08.

With a short position of more than 20% and U.S. rig count through the roof, coupled with 25% sequential growth, I like my chances.

If you are interested in betting against stocks, avoid small names. Money is free and Wall Street is in beast mode, setting up mergers and acquisitions. It’s simply too hard to short retail, even though it makes all the sense in the world. These corporations do not care about valuations. They know the free money in their bank can buy them something of value, so they do it.

Having said that, I am short AEM because they are big. My other short, MELI, is definitely a takeover candidate. So, I need to heed my own advice and cover, else get my mustache punched off.

The market is a mixed bag of balls today. Metals and banks are weak, while tech holds up the nasdaq. Thus far, there are no Chinese Lotto winners. Then again, I call it “lotto,” so what do you expect?

I still like HEAT, AKS and FTK on the long side. And, HRBN is trading more than .80 below an all cash offer.

I played CHINESE LOTTO on Friday and won, via HRBN. There were lots of other winners today, in the wonderful world of chicoms. Just know, this is a sure sign that the end is near, with regards to this run. However, before we drop, why not play more lotto?

As you know, today’s monster moves in HRBN/FTK were BLACK SWAN events for Fly haters. Deal with it and learn to appreciate the gravity of this situation.

I’m throwing a freebie out there tonight, for you non-PPT member leaches. I got my new lotto tickets ready and I am interested in playing.

Here are my top picks, as of right now. Things can change when trading starts tomorrow.

HPJ, SHZ, CELM, CFSG, CHLN, HEAT, JST, CGA, CTFO, TSTC, CAAS, JRJC, EJ and YTEC.

For those of you who are not leaches, here is my PPT LOTTO watchlist, with other stuff attached.

FTK guided up, making that 6 straight quarters of growth. Dare I say, I am on the cusp of making money on this dog. Cost basis is a touch below $2.09.

Might I add, buying HRBN on Friday had nothing to do with luck. It was divine intervention, on behalf of those celestial beings that love “The Fly” and what he stands for. I don’t expect you to understand. All I ask is that you appreciate the gravity of the situation.

Going with the Chinese Lotto theme, I stepped in a bought a boat-load of HEAT this morning. Can you blame me? Big short position on this one and those clam-lovers are pretty damn nervous now, in light of all the Chinese gambling being done on our exchanges.

I’m still short AEM and MELI, as well as long VXX. However, I have made arrangements to neutralize my VXX worm-hole, via outstanding, kick-ass, grand slam, double digit melt up takeover plays.