A Thanksgiving Update

At La Casa del Fly, a heavily brined turkey awaits industrial proportioned consumption. His guests are all gluttons, eagerly awaiting to fill their faces with gravy, stuffing and other delicacies. The stated goal is to eat as much as humanly possible, right up until the point where the stomach explodes from too much pressure.

I will be serving cranberry chutney, along with green beans, mashed potatoes (infused with cream cheese), roasted and cobbed corn, candied sweet potatoes, crescent rolls, pumpkin pies, apple pies, turkey and world class sage sausage stuffing. For beverage, I’ve cooled a grotesquely large bottle of Apple cider outside, just like Grandpa Fly did when I was young. And, I’ve reserved my finest red wines, for family members who possess a modicum of civility and honor. All the other rubes will drink Heineken light or some other bullshit trailer park trash beverage of choice.

I will rant and rave, laugh and drink, EXACTLY in that order. I will make fun of the football players and talk about how my personal success outstrips all others, at the dinner table, just prior to grace. We will toast to my success and pray for my eternal survival.