iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,441 Blog Posts

Keep Your Eye on the Rape

A lot of faggots out there take issue with using the word “rape,” as if using it in the context of a MASSIVE FINANCIAL MELTDOWN has anything to do with perverts gone wild with mental disorders. Just like when I use the word “faggot,” I am really referring to an ancient African bird, indigenous to “pussified” jungles and shit, devoid of “big dicked” carnivores.

Just in case you were wondering, “The Fly” is not on some lazy ass vacation, where he galavants around some metrosexual resort, eating piss clams, sipping on bitch drinks (when I say “bitch,” what I am really referring to is the long necked mammal out of mongolia with a big scrotum). No, “The Fly” is on a fucking journey, son. He has gone ballistic on the North East corridor of the United States on a mission of glory. I have no idea when I am going home. In short, I will go home when the Earth demands that I leave this area of the world.

I see futures are getting “raped” in a very “faggotty” way, which makes me pertubed due to my lack of proper hedging. Nevertheless, my cash position is dominant and I will have access to my trading turret, beachside, “bitches.”

More on this later.

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34 comments

  1. Eric

    Damn, I covered quite a bit of hedges on Friday too. Preparing myself for a beating tomorrow from Mr. Market.

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  2. kelkun

    Eh…futures are flat. China is ramping.

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  3. checklist

    I see futures down 3, up from down 8 when I checked an hour or 3 ago.

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    • The Fly

      You need to count yesterday’s moves in the futures too. S&P futures are down 6.5, They were far worse when I was gobbling down some raw oysters a few hours ago.

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      • JakeGint

        Be careful, more reckless admissions like that and Purdistan may be forced to call in the enviro po-po’s to check your blood-mercury levels.

        It’ll be for your own good, promise.

        ___________

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        • Purdy

          Jakey, you’re on vaca. Take a break from your straw man sweat shop.

          No one here gives a shit what conjugal aids Fly chooses to ingest. I do however wish that he had the freedom to choose oysters with less of our spew in them.

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          • JakeGint

            Suck it up, pussy. You think you’re going to get a pass on the pineapple coffin?

            _________

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          • JF2

            Despite the coffin options – the straw man needs a break at least once a year . . .

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      • checklist

        yes, yes, my bad.

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      • checklist

        the seafood pleasures offered by the east coast are one of the country’s real culinary treats… but raw oysters are one thing I choke down not out of enjoyment, but rather out of some sense of occasion or show, ala bonging a bear or something. Eeesh!

        They’ve moved up a bit since my last post, and Asia seems to be in a reasonably good mood as well.

        Hope the PPT will be right again…

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        • JakeGint

          You need to try the sweet blue oysters that come out of the bays of Washington State. They may turn your head around.

          If no, then “more horseradish” is always a good play.

          _________

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          • Dave

            A nice dollop of horseradish floating on top of the cocktail sauce on top of the oyster in a shot glass is good. They serve them like that at McCormick & Schmick’s happy hour, which I shall enjoy with discount cards from Costco until M&S goes bankrupt, as its Altman Z”-Score suggests. The espresso martinis there are quite good too.

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  4. kelkun

    Right now, futures are up 0.25, but I guess you can say they are down 2 or so from Friday (they were down 2 and change today).

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  5. SPYder Crusher

    there’s a whole section on Rape in the iBC Dictionary fools.

    look up Rape, Types of

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    • The Fly

      The 2011 iBC Dictionary is going fucking hardcover. I don’t care if we sell a single text. That shit is going right in my library, alongside encyclopedias.

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  6. No One

    silver

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  7. The Fly

    i hope we shoot higher. China is ripping tits

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    • The_Real_Hmmm

      Global growth is back! Long basic materials! Hope you had a good 4th and all of your sleeves are removed from your shirts. Our forefathers wear jorts!

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  8. Sunshine

    The Fly is an immature, vulgar, insensitive, sexist, & homophobic scumbag that will get his comeuppance in due time. You have a gift, such a shame you’ve chosen to turn it into a curse. Do keep posting your garbage…there is karma & it has a train with your name on it barreling up the North East corridor. It is written…

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    • The Fly

      And your mother milks goats with her mouth, fuckface. There is no such thing as bad karma. Shit just happens, you putz.

      Oh, you’re banned.

      Next!

      348 served!

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    • Penta

      Your wrong Sunshine. Fly is actually a very good man. I am not kissing his ass by any means, but he does have very good karma. He is very sarcastic in many ways.

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  9. HawaiiFive0

    Futures are improving!

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  10. Apocalypse Now
    Apocalypse Now

    Betting on a compromise on the financial reform bill, passing this week with a rally.

    Right now the market in this analogy represents the clothes for the Emperor and elections are coming up in November. Greenspan coming out on July 1st and reiterating his belief that the market leads business activity was reinforcement for continued propping / liquidity. Hopefully the gov behind the scenes is doing more than pointing fingers and outlawing photos of the Gulf, it would be hugely beneficial to have a solution in place that would ripple through the market. This is where you marshal resources.

    China’s up and I believe in the PPT more than Fly himself, as it represents his magical mathematical genius.

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  11. JakeGint

    Sublime beauty clears the head, no?

    If you don’t have tears in your eyes, you are a Phillistine from Philadelphia.

    Or Lowell, Mass, more likely.

    ________

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  12. The_Real_Hmmm

    It’s perturbed and Mongolia btw. I watched Psycho this weekend and feel like being articulate and creepy.

    Copper is being brought to the front burner in the news again. As stupid as the post-recognized reasons are, the China bottom and copper rally were the “bottom tells” of last market bottom. I’m thinking about maybe TIE on the back of current airline passenger load levels that are pre-2009 and positive leading durable goods indicators in the airline industry from the Fed. Not to mention its relative positive performance, too.

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  13. Dr Fly

    Creepy indeud

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  14. HawaiiFive0

    “He has gone ballistic on the North East corridor of the United States on a mission of glory”.

    And may I ask good sir, what indeud is said mission?

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  15. alf44

    GAWD !!!

    Uhhh…“piss clams and bitch drinks” !!!

    THAT…my friends is freakin’ funny as shit !!!

    I can’t believe I get to read this stuff for FREE !!!

    .

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  16. StocksRider

    Seems China is the new plunge protection team for US. Two headlines in news coming through – (1) China investment corp planning to deploy addnl 200-300 bill in US equities. (2) China Forex department saying their massive foreign currency holdings are doing very well and survived the 2008 crisis. Asia is up in trading. Don’t know if all these are catalysts alone for a rally day on this side of the quarter but worth noting for what it is worth.

    On the other hand, China also buying yen causing increase in yen and decrease in Euro. That is not a good sign for US markets.

    Lets see how this tug of war goes in the upcoming hours. Funny thing…China is on both ends though.

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  17. arch

    think i will remain stout with my holdings as they are …futures at this time up nicely..hah hah

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  18. Asteroids

    Mr. Le Fly is correct again. The fuckery continues. The futures are up almost 11. What a bozo market. Do nothing until Europe closes at 11AM. Sitting 100% cash waiting for my pitch to come.

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  19. mkcbill

    Geez futes on fire …were going to blow through 9750 today.
    Based on robust recovery…smoking job growth…rising home prices.

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