A democracy shall be had.

It’s time to see who will become iBankCoin’s next top blogger: Cain Thaler or chessNwine. Honestly, they’re both very distinguished.

Even though this is just an Internets elections, we’re taking it very seriously. Just like in the major US elections, if you’re a convicted felon (or even immediately related to one), you are NOT allowed to vote for the next top blogger. (This goes for real-life violators, as well as those of you who have been found guilty of crimes against iBC.)

Also, just like real-life elections, we’ve employed a highly insecure means of balloting:

Who Should Be iBankCoin’s Next Tabbed Blogger? 1) Mr. Caine Thaler 2) ChessNwine View Results

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[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTTd6KGNnQM&feature=related 616 500]

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I just took my time machine back to 1929 and made this fucker give me a market update on youtube.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEc7sE7psJA&feature=related 616 500]

UPDATE: The Godly folks at iBankCoin are auctioning off a classic, and epic, piece of VIX art, from The Fly’s early 2010 collection.

Dated March 19th, 2010, titled “Beware of The Devil’s Pizza Head”

starting bid: $1,099,000.01

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Okay, the burden of responsibility is now on the shoulders of men wearing fancy pants. The ECB is not the Fed. In my estimation, they are too fractured to come up with a cohesive plan over the weekend. This whole little crisis is likely to snowball out of control, turning it into a giant snow man, armed with rocket launchers and shit. I underestimate the Europeans, based upon history. However, there is an outside chance they will concoct some sort of scheme to placate markets— leading to a Monday melt up.

As a result of this sovereign debt crisis, the credit markets are tightening, ipo markets have seized and sentiment has turned decidedly negative. You need to understand these things and throw away your investment thesis of two weeks ago. Things change and so should you.

Here is my game plan:

Because of my large [[VXX]] position (28% of assets), I am up another 2% for the day, bringing my year to date gains up to 17%. With my cash reserves (38%), as discussed in earlier posts, I intend to buy your margin liquidations, with great vigor. Thanks in advance for that.

I am circling the wagons around three names (that’s right, just three):

POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]]

Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]]

Eastman Chemical Company [[EMN]]

All three are market leaders and represent good value, based upon current estimates. Furthermore, should the market get flogged some more, they will not receive homo-hammers to the scrotum, just small meat tenderizers to the face.

In short, “The Fly” wins again, much to your chagrin.

In other news, my friend, equity partner, and fellow blogger Chart Addict will no longer blog here at iBankCoin. He has moved over to Stocktwits aka The House of Lindzon. Knowing CA for more than a year and meeting him in person, I can say, without hesitation, he is a real pro and an honest/trustworthy person. Access John’s farewell here.

NOTE: Elections for the next tabbed blogger will commence Sunday night. Mr. Caine Thaler versus ChessnWine. Be there! Oh, one last thing: because of the elections, The Fly’s weekly cartoon will air tomorrow.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etl9kkIGaHo 616 500]

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This is very simple. I will lay out three scenarios that many of you find yourselves in, with possible courses of action:

1. Fully invested, long. This is a HORRENDOUS idea, no matter how cheap things look they can always get cheaper. I know many of you learned that lesson in 2008. If I were you, thank God I am not, I’d sell 25-50% of my longs immediately, putting 10% of the proceeds in one of the following: [[FXP]] , [[TZA]] , [[VXX]] or [[SKF]] .

2. More than 50% cash, 20% short, 30% equities. You are in a sweet spot, in my opinion. If anything, keep your positions monitored on a spreadsheet and cover shorts when the weighting gets out of whack. The weighting of the shorts will become oversized when they go your way. So, do yourself a favor and “reverse nibble,” by taking profits in increments.

3. 100% short. This is a very dangerous position to be in, especially since the government is explicit in its desire to see higher stock prices. If this is you, it’s important to remember 2009 and how gay you were for the past 18 months. Book the trade, get to cash and hedge your shorts with some longs.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz2xvDLq3mI&feature=related 616 500]

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Any of you fuckers want to doubt the sublime harmony of mathematical precision aka The PPT, now?

I didn’t think so.

Live Crash Coverage:
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsCeSkthACM 616 500]

El Erian on the Greek crisis:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbS7fCMPT48 616 500]

Cramer on The Procter & Gamble Company The Procter & Gamble Company The Procter & Gamble Company [[PG]] today:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4jotxBOhNI 616 500]

Classic Krull

His experience in today’s bloodbath.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqKAPRWFKZ4&feature=watch_response_rev 616 500] [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TH9BsfyI3JI&playnext_from=TL&videos=75Z8e4640mA&feature=sub 616 500]

MOOBER’S Vid of the crash, as experienced in The PPT (Thanks MOOBS!)

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbynkUDnd7I&&feature=watch_response_rev 616 500]

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So, some IT guy fucked up and broke a few servers, likely by dropping a large vat of olive oil over the NASDAQ server rack, causing a market crash. ROFL!!!!

You have to be kidding me. I wish heavy litigation and many firings at the nazz.

Despite the big reversal, and pardon me for being out of the loop today, nothing changes. There is still a MASSIVE unraveling of the yen carry trade, via [[FXY]] . And, gold is actually serving as a safety asset: scary. Into the bell, I am buying more [[VXX]] and I already sold out of Trico Marine Services Inc [[TRMA]] , [[MWW]] and Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] .

To sum up today’s epic trading session:

Yours truly was busy getting an endoscopy, while the bottom dropped out of the market (I am fine).

Most of my bloggers took the day off, because they don’t give a shit about the site. I need to fire everyone.

Someone printed The Procter & Gamble Company [[PG]] under $40.

Flight to safety is in vogue, a la The Hugh Hendry, via [[TLT]] .

[[VXX]] exploded to the upside, as predicted.

I am up 1.5% for the day.

Finally, THIS IS NOT OVER. Quit acting like you know what you are talking about. From my perch, you know shit.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_sY2rjxq6M 616 500]

UPDATE: Words of wisdom

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The thing that scares me the most is the fact that gold is up. People are running to safety. This is not over. If you bought the bottom, entertain me and take profits. Right now, my [[VXX]] position is 20%+ weighted in my portfolios, coupled with my 40% cash, I am actually up on the day. I do not mean to brag on a day like this, because I’ve been on the receiving end of the shit stick. But, you really need to come to grips with the fact that you have no fucking idea what you are doing.

Take heed, else feel the brunt of a full blown sovereign debt crisis.

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Unfortunately, I had a scheduled medical procedure today (I am fine). I gave the keys to the blog to my fellow bloggers, and aside from a few, they dropped the fucking ball, woefully.

At any rate, as the effects of anesthesia wears off, I see the market is making a fierce rally off the low. However, and listen to me, THIS IS A DO NOT BUY MARKET. The yen carry trade has completely unraveled. Gold is through the roof, as is [[TLT]] . People are RUNNING into safety assets. Do yourself a favor and watch this one, instead of playing it. I have not sold a single share of [[VXX]] , because it can go to $50, if things get real sporty.

I attribute the 1,000 point drop to robot trading gone wrong. Nevertheless, do not be surprised to see Asia get poleaxed tonight, followed by a whoosh lower in Europe. In other words, in the words of that bug black guy in Pulp Fiction, “this is far from over.”

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Greece has no choice but to rape itself because they cannot devalue their currency, since it’s not really their own (euro). Essentially, they have no control over monetary policy. Their choices are simple: default or implement severe spending cuts, which will most certainly lead to gripping deflation. As such, the deflation cycle will increase the debt burden. The most likely scenario, in my opinion, is Greece dropping the Euro and printing away like a little midget Bernanke.

The larger issue is Spain. Once the vultures get through with Greece, Portugal and Ireland, they will fuck with Spain, who represents 10% of the EU’s GDP. This is where the EU game will end, unless Santa Claus gifts that shit bag of a continent with free gold bricks and shit. Do you think Germany and France will finance Spain to the tune of $500 billion, if need be? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

That’s as funny as a margin call on Christmas.

Let’s be honest, these sovereign debt issues are really bank issues, dressed up in fancy suits and ties. By bailing out Greece, the IMF is saving French and German banks. Who do they think they are kidding?

Recent IMF bailouts include: Latvia, Lithuania, Hungary, Romania: all fucked. Done.

So, my question to you is: once we get done with burning the EU down, will the financial arsonists target US municipalities? Like members of the EU, states cannot print money. So, like Greece, they need to default or make draconian spending cuts, which, once again, is incredibly deflationary. States that have severe debt issues include: New Jersey, California, Connecticut, New York and Illinois.

The likelihood of the Federal government letting any of those states default is minimal. So, with that in mind, we are heading for rapid inflation or deflation, of the most egregious kind. However, until that happens, the tenuous recovery might get clown raped by the events unraveling in the EU—all reasons to be very cautious with your investment objectives.

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