iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,445 Blog Posts

World War III Has Begun

Not to be confused with Rocky III, the great mother-fucker of all wars is upon us. As a result of North Korea’s “uncivil disobedience” to Obama’s health care bill, we shall send 10 aircraft carriers to their bullshit country and sink it (the entire fucking country). We will give those fuckers the “Atlantis treatment,” whereby their part of Korea is “sawed off” and tossed into the Ocean, alongside the Titanic (I’m fully aware that both respective entities reside in separate bodies of water). In the future, people will wonder about “North Korea” and tell stories about how people, crazy people, used to live there until Mother Earth swallowed it into her bosom.

As you know, with my money, I’m all defensive and shit, waiting for the opportunity to buy your future margin call.

It’s like the 1930’s all over again, yo. Let’s all get onboard naval ships and storm beaches filled with busy turrets.

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36 comments

  1. Cash Is King

    How is the vxx not skyrocking right now. This market is like nothing i have even seen.

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  2. TraderCaddy

    Two questions.
    Will Obama take the North Korean side?
    Will Corporal Klingler enlist to get back into the MASH unit on the Korean peninsula?

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  3. The Fly

    Good point. We might attack S Korea.

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  4. Gold & Sacks robots
    Gold & Sacks robots

    …Must keep DIA positive,must keep DIA positive…

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  5. manuelstop

    floating rates just got sunk.

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  6. scott

    You know, this is why I’m here. Cause nobody in our business can say it better…

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  7. toptick114

    I’m all defensive and shit, waiting for the opportunity to buy your future margin call.

    Priceless.

    Indeed!

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  8. Frank White

    The North Koreans are too well off, my guess is Obama backs S. Korea and we invade in order to raise the taxes of all N. koreans making over 200k a year.

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    • Yogi and Boo Boo
      Yogi and Boo Boo

      200k of what? dirt? rice?

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    • Fly Leech

      Close. Actually, Obammy will invade South Korea first, then negotiate a peace treaty with the north involving them buying our dollars and selling them to the Chinese and taking the North by fiat.

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  9. The situation

    Remember this is day one of the march to DOW 20,000……..Oh “F” it, everybody run for cover!!!!

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  10. Yogi and Boo Boo
    Yogi and Boo Boo

    Off to sniff some VXX. Later…

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  11. Englandwillwintheworldcup
    Englandwillwintheworldcup

    “Atlantis treatment,” whereby their part of Korea is “sawed off” and tossed into the Ocean, alongside the Titanic.

    That is friggin funny!!

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  12. jimmie

    I think we should attack Chicago and all of Obama’s criminal’s buddies 🙂

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    • Fly Leech

      Obama already got wind of that and ordered all available submarines to surround the area.

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  13. The Rook

    what are your thoughts about ipsu!?!

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  14. Caffeinated

    War’s over. Additional power & cooling being redirected to Goldbot server room.

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  15. Juiceyfruit

    Obama torpedoed the S Korea vessel, so the North could get blamed and he could start a war to boost the economy. And y’all thought he didn’t know what he was doing. Naive fuckers. He is so shrewd, he scheduled a nuclear arms deal with Russia as a cover. R-E-S-P-EC-T !! All Hail The Chief! 😛 😛

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  16. Big Mike

    You guys arent going to believe this shit

    I woke up and my personal GMAIL (google) account was hacked by an IP Address in China (BIG RED NOTICE ON GMAIL ACCOUNT)… Not only that, they sent email spam to EVERYBODY WHO I EVER EMAILED dating back 5 years…

    Just warning you, evidently after doing more research, it is happening very frequently;

    Spending the whole day fixing this shit and apologizing for people who were dumb enough to click on the SPAM link.

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    • TraderCaddy

      That happened to a Yahoo Hotmail account I have.
      Happened about 6 weeks ago so I changed the password and deleted all of my contact addresses.
      I was getting calls from relatives and a couple college golf coaches (that I had listed years ago) asking about the Viagra ads I “sent” them.
      All of the anti-spy, etc software and two firewalls I have was worthless.

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  17. TraderCaddy

    Obama has now ordered the deportation of all Korean golfers on the LPGA and thus all future tournaments are cancelled because there are no more players.

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  18. The Fly

    anyone enlist in the army yet?

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    • Frank White

      See the world meet interesting people and kill them on Uncle Sam’s dime. 3 squares a day.

      Tempting, so fuckign tempting.

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    • TraderCaddy

      Just got back.
      I requested the Army put me in Henry Blake’s M*A*S*H unit.
      Looks like fun.
      They said I could bunk with Margaret Houlihan.
      You don’t think they were lying do you?

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  19. Dayman

    War, for lack of a better word, is good.

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  20. Gold & Sacks robots
    Gold & Sacks robots

    Yeah,you’ll be living in an underground bomb shelter,but your 401k’s gonna grow 10% a year

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  21. Gold & Sacks robots
    Gold & Sacks robots

    You people call it manipulation, we prefer a more gentlemanly term…”stabilization”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4o8TeqKhgY

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  22. SlayingDragons

    INFANTRY! CALVARY!

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  23. Trading Rookie

    This is to cash is king- what is vxx and what moves the stock up and down, i was thinking it shorts the market?

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  24. Al

    Hahah. Funny. In a thousand years people will say North Korea was an enlightened, highy advanced civilization with the secrets to earth’s salvation.
    The Cold War was World War III. The War on Terror is World War IV. If the current crisis in Korea escalates to the something larger than the War on Terror then I suppose it could be called WW V or maybe just an extension of the ongoing War on Terror.

    I’m not sure what is so important about South Korea. It only has the fifteenth largest economy in the world, no natural resources. Maybe if they went to hell it would fuck up the global economy somehow. Not sure. Either way, North Korea is just whacked. I hope they get blown to shit, but then China would probably get involved and that would much much worse for the US considering the greatest military defeat in US history was at the hands of the Chinese during the Korean War.
    The US still spends around six times as much a year on the military, so we got the edge MAD not included.

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