iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,443 Blog Posts

1 Trillion, 2 Trillion, 3 Trillion, 4…

President Obama must have Count Dracula on his fucking brain, when he states 1 trillion dollars will produce 4 million jobs. Hell, if that’s the case, why stop there?

Let’s spend 2 trillion or 4 trillion. Or, how about we spend 10 trillion dollars? Using Obama’s Sesame Place math, with 10 trillion dollars we can produce 40 million jobs!

Gyeah!

As you know, “The Fly” was made richer today, with various positions catapulting the values of his accounts to new highs. You fuckers can only dream of having a slither of my investing skill sets.

My inverse etf’s, which include REW, EEV, SMN, SRS, FAZ, ERY and DUG, shot multiple bulls in the head today. In addition, my short positions in XOM, KIM, NOV, VNO and HANS, made most of you look stupid.

When the value of life, as a whole, is analyzed, “The Fly” leads a better one than you. Cordially, he opines on the daily events of the stock market/economy, while making asinine amounts of coin in the market. It’s a funny/hilarious thing: I cannot fucking lose—scientifically of course.

Now, you may try to beat me, through various stock picking methods. However, I am sure you realise [sic] by now that HORATIO CLAWHAMMER is well capable of beating your brains out, via surgical nuclear bomb strikes on your portfolios. And, of course, he is not to be fucked with.

If you find your little portfolios in an egregiously flaccid state, you are well deserving of incurring such said losses, for Senor Tropicana never loses. Hence, the punishment for betting against living stock Gods is, unfortunately, distributed to you.

UPDATE: Indeed.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOPF0S7Hss4 450 300] If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

98 comments

  1. The Zombie

    The Fly is God.

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  2. Gio

    LoL! It’s Count!

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  3. Q4

    Money – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUeApBq4yqM

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  4. MOOBER

    The Count really loves to BEEEEEEP

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM

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  5. EN1GMA

    congrats FLY, you DA MAN!! BLOOD ON THE STREETS!!!! loooove IT!

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  6. patrick

    Fly-
    How are you distributed now? (long, short, bling)?
    Grazie.

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  7. Jakegint

    WTF — don’t you let your kids watch the Sesame Street?

    Bela Lugosi was Dracula… the numerate puppet is just “The Count.”

    ________

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  8. Aris

    EEM closing on a 50-day to basically to the cent.

    EEV poised for a mini BTFO.

    tomorrow is the day of reckoning.

    (naturally, because i said that, it will do nothing tomorrow but flatline)

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  9. Employee8

    Sesame Place … sounds like some children’s store in Lawng Hailang … try Street.

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  10. Jakegint

    Warning!

    Hubris-o-meter at near record levels!

    Warning!

    Warning!

    ___________

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  11. The Fly

    Sorry Jake. But I always called him Count Dracula. I never fell for that “The Count” shit.

    Clearly he is Count Dracula.

    Pat:

    I mentioned my allocation this morning:

    8% long
    25% cash
    67% short.

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  12. Not the Zombie

    I think the Zombie’s posts are system generated by Vincenzo when he’s not spilling spaghetti sauce on the servers.

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  13. MOOBER

    AA looking ok so far AH. Is their forward p/e really 201 as Yahoo finance claims?

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  14. Jakegint

    E8 —

    Sesame Place is a real thing.

    ________

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  15. DevilDog

    quit with that racist shit video…

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  16. punyandy

    Moober – when the “E” in P/E is negative, that’s not much of a metric, now is it?

    Interesting that JPM moved up earnings to this week. If it was going to be a disasterous quarter, you’d think they would have just pre-announced to the downside. The fact that they actually scheduled the early call makes you wonder if old Jamie Dimon has something up his sleeve. I’m not running to buy it, but it’s worth noting.

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  17. MOOBER

    PS – That Atilla dude went long.

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  18. Jakegint

    Sorry Jake. But I always called him Count Dracula. I never fell for that “The Count” shit.

    Clearly, you was some sharp kid, no doubt.

    Was Mr. Snuffelupagas still “Mr. Snuffelupagas” or did you refer to him as “Tantor” or “Hairy Jumbo?”

    __________

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  19. cheesefries

    I spent the weekend playing golf and walking real estate short sales in Myrtle Beach, SC. Most of the homes located in either ocean front or in the more “exclusive” areas were owned by real estate agents or owners of vacation/consumer driven restaurants and stores. I was told that the new amusement park (Hard Rock Park) which was built last year for $300 million recently went to auction and couldn’t even get a bid for $32 million. That town is in real trouble…

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  20. Mr. EB

    Remember everyone, Devildog was super perma-bear forever and then went bullish going into last Friday. Lots of people on here saw this post as a significant event.

    He said Friday and Monday would by rally days and then the market would resume selling off on Tuesday.

    If you take the inverse of that, it would of nailed Friday and Monday’s (today) moves and it also means we rally tomorrow (Tuesday).

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  21. Employee8

    That’s what happens when the kids are all growed up Jake …

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  22. The Fly

    Jake:

    Wooly Mammoth

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  23. Razcane

    I predict my wife will get her period tomorrow.

    Write it down.

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  24. Razcane

    Boom at the BANKERS:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOPF0S7Hss4

    Vipers and thieves! agreed!!

    —-
    =

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  25. chivasontherocks

    ” chivas is giddy about stocks ”

    fuck you. when you talk about me, get it right. i am not giddy. i am ecstatic, euphoric, a raging fucking bull right now about stocks. i think that stocks, oil are a buy right now, and that the dollar is a short.

    sorry for my absence the last few days. i have been on vacation, in a hospital bed. and no is not the oxy talking the comments above, although i now know how house feels when taking that shit.

    homebuilders are a buy almost across the board.

    imo, risk reward for next six months is 6% downside vs 40% upside.

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  26. Jakegint

    Fly —

    ROFLMOA.

    🙂

    _______

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  27. punyandy

    Someone is plagarizing your posts on the yahoo message board. Which a-hole is it?

    http://messages.finance.yahoo.com/Stocks_(A_to_Z)/Stocks_G/threadview?m=tm&bn=8089&tid=313595&mid=313595&tof=11&frt=2

    Edit:

    Here’s the tinyurl
    http://tinyurl.com/7247e6

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  28. Danny

    the poorest motherfucker on sesame street, lol

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  29. The Fly

    Chivas:

    Normally I’d call you a registered sex offender of something equally bad. However, I’ll just call you a CNBC employee for now.

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  30. chivasontherocks

    Jake,

    will e-mail tonight.

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  31. Danny

    chivas – no that IS the oxy talking

    ^update: Fly beat me to it

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  32. chivasontherocks

    Danny,

    no is not.

    fuck off.

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  33. El Tiberon

    Woolly Mammoth or a Mastodon?

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  34. cybtropic

    Obama’s idea is just like the republican myth that cutting taxes leads to more tax revenue for the government. In that case, taxes should be cut to zero. Imagine how much taxes government would take in.

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  35. Anton Cigur

    Chivas,

    Hospital? Hope you’re on the mend.

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  36. Jakegint

    Puny —

    That’s Senor Tropicana himself — aka “Dexter Pacino” man about town.

    _________

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  37. Danny

    enjoy your friendly neighborhood morphine addiction

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  38. Anton Cigur

    Oxy is the most disappointing drug ever, btw.

    After surgery a few years ago, I got more relief from jellybeans.

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  39. Jakegint

    Chivas,

    Look forward to it, hope you are feeling better.

    Keeping you in mind.

    ________

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  40. mdawsz

    Percocet is the way to go.

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  41. Jakegint

    Anton —

    You are likely born lucky, and not responsive to such opiates. Oxy abuse is a HUGE problem in the States, almost as bad as meth.

    The junkees crush it up and snort it, to avoid the whole “time release” angle.

    _________

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  42. chivasontherocks

    Anton,

    people respond different. for me, it gives me much needed relief, as of right now. thanks.

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  43. Jakegint

    Perc almost as bad. Best to avoid any pills your doc gives you, as they are bad news.

    Stick to God’s anaesthetic.

    _________

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  44. mdawsz

    Perhaps this is stating the obvious, but maybe you need a few shots of Chivas Regal?

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  45. chivasontherocks

    Jake,

    LMAO.

    had my son sneak in a bottle of chivas.

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  46. Anton Cigur

    Jake –

    Understood. My little sister is a neurologist. One man’s fuzzy headache is another’s instant addiction, depending on what your receptors are receptive to.

    Chivas,

    Glad it’s working for you. Of course, scotch is the best medicine.

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  47. Jakegint

    Neurologist, eh?

    So she must really hate when you scoff at some task and say “Well, it’s not exactly brain surgery.

    ___________

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  48. 4fl3x

    “My inverse etf’s, which include REW, EEV, SMN, SRS, FAZ, ERY and DUG”

    I thought you swore off these bogus etf’s.

    It takes a man a long time to learn all the lessons of his mistakes…

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  49. jig

    what do you guys take from JPM moving their earning date up? big card game right? are they gonna fuck the bears here?

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  50. WatchuthinkIsoldemall?
    WatchuthinkIsoldemall?

    Thoughts on buying LVS under 6?

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  51. punyandy

    jig –

    i say yes. if they were going to completely crap the bed, they would have just pre-announced the numbers (tonight, or Thursday, who cares). I take this as a sign that Jamie Dimon thinks his numbers are better than people expect.

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  52. Anton Cigur

    Jake,

    She’s got a PhD in chemistry, too, and has had short stories published going back to college. I’ve tried to get her to write an accessible health column or blog, but there just isn’t enough time. Next to her, that Gupta character is a retard.

    Still got the big bro Jedi mind trick going where she thinks I’m smarter than she is. Odd, no?

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  53. Jakegint

    AC — as a big brother myself (four younger brothers), I recognize the psychological construct.

    It’s called “making the beatings stick” in the vernacular.

    _______

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  54. Thunderpup

    Where’s this chart gonna bottom at? hmmmm

    http://www.nowandfutures.com/images/dow_gold_ratio_log.png

    Karen Tso looks like a fresh spring flower today.

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  55. scum bucket

    President Obama must have Count Dracula on his fucking brain…

    Count Chocula more like, the bruthas ain’t gonna be none too pleased when they find out he ain’t “one-a them”.

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  56. boca

    Chivas, hope you get well *fast*, sorry to hear about the hospital bed. If you’re on oxy’s or morphine drip, please, please don’t drink with it though, hon. It’s kinda dangerous to mix alcohol and opiates. Just heal up quick and get out of there.

    PS 90% upside on it being the oxy’s talking… 🙂

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  57. DEVILDOG

    Markets DOWN BIG tomorrow and closing at day LOWS.

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  58. mrkcbill

    When are we going to get some good futures action….you know the down 350-400 stuff to keep The Dog up all night? Chivas feel better.

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  59. Woodshedder

    Tomorrow is time to start legging into longs, again.

    Write it down.

    Holders of inverse ETFs, time to sell.

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  60. Woodshedder

    Best wishes to a speedy recovery Chivas!

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  61. punyandy

    Cramer now claims to be a seller of all banks. Unlike his position with Citi at $50, then $20, then $10. Cute. Maybe the bottom is in, for the banks.

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  62. Dr. Phil

    There must be a special wing in the mental ward for people that refer to themselves in the third person.

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  63. Nazrul

    DEVILDOG…you bring shame to the great state of Montana. You should consider off’ing yourself at your earliest convenience.

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  64. Bravo

    Nazrul,
    totally uncalled for…
    wise up…

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  65. Anton Cigur

    nazi – stfu

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  66. Thunderpup

    Asian markets starting to crap their pants. Time to start throwing stuff off bridges.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG294M_kYWM&feature=related

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  67. Juice

    D-dog, maybe. However you have both internut superstar blogger uber bears, Tim Knight and Attilla covering SPX shorts and going long ES futes. And Attilla also covered all his inverse etf’s.

    You should head their way and talk some sense into those pussies.

    http://xtrends.blogspot.com/

    http://www.slopeofhope.com/

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  68. omfgitsjd

    If we are going to compare people with children’s characters, let’s focus on Pepe LePew.

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  69. MOOBER

    Chivas – I missed that you weren’t well. I hope you have a fast recovery. Be well.

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  70. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
    Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

    juice you a pussy

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  71. Juice

    Chivas is obviously delirious. However, I think he is probably correct (more or less, within 15% +/-) with his 6% down, 40% up scenario. Well, no way we go up 40% … but anyways, feel better, dude.

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  72. WTF

    yea, like Chivas i too think that we are closer to the bottom than to the top. It is a big move from 940 down to 870 in couple of days… unless one believes like DD that we gonna hit 650 next Mon on 1/19. Or did DD updated his “6 handle day” on SP date?

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  73. Dude_here

    It is nice to see someone who gets it. Good job Chivas. Shorting the bottom is a moronic thing indeed. Fly = DevilDog? I think so.

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  74. Anton Cigur

    Juice,

    Posting a link to Tim?

    On Fly’s blog?

    Oh, no you dih-ent!

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  75. Juice

    Anton .. Fly only pretends to hate Tim Knight. He reserves his true hate for penny stock, self-promo, 6 figure account Tim Psyches.

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  76. Anton Cigur

    Watch out for falling pianos just the same, Juice, in case Fly is “method acting.”

    I haven’t been able to check in here as often as I’d like. Is there a post somewhere in which Chivas expounds on his “down 6%, up 40%” theory?

    I’d ask him directly, but about this time of night he begins giving his nurses their physicals.

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  77. The Fly

    Who said this is the fucking bottom dipshit?

    WHO FUCKING SAID IT?

    Tell me and I’ll punch his chest hairs off.

    S&P will book $40 in earnings in 2009. Slap a 12 multiple on it fuck face, then get back to me.

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  78. The Fly

    Chivas is a nice guy but operates without the luxury of a time machine.

    He’s 150% wrong.

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  79. StockRake

    You meant sliver.

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  80. Juice

    Fly – it would be nice if we could get the depression over with & open at SPX 400 or 500 tomorrow, but the journey to hell will be a long & circuitous one. We may have to pull out our Dow 10k party hats one more time before we pack them off for a Kondrieff winter.

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  81. Thunderpup

    Anton:

    @4:54, albeit not expounding.

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  82. Anton Cigur

    Thx, TP

    Caught that post. Did not attribute euphoria to drugs so much as to “sponge bath time with Nurse Nancy.”

    Do not understand bullishness here. But I have been a 100% accurate inverse indicator for about 14 months.

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  83. Thunderpup

    Hey, we all have our own fetishes that turn us into raging bulls, such as Tso, nude on an equine.

    Velocity of money has collapsed. It’s time to print money and just buy….everything, including helicopters. Until they do that, I’m with DDog. Bonds will eventually implode in 09, I think, but deflation rules, for now.

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  84. The Fly

    Juice :

    Depressions take time. The cost is the souls of men and pockets of clowns.

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  85. confused

    …so Fly, if he’s 150% wrong, then he’s half right, right?

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  86. mdawsz

    Geez, with his popularity of late, I think Deviled Dog will be a tabbed blogger in no time.

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  87. RC

    DevilDog, while I update a few things on the stock of the year contest, give me your pick.

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  88. Goldie

    mdawsz Says:

    “Geez, with his popularity of late, I think Deviled Dog will be a tabbed blogger in no time.”

    That was my 2009 Prediction 😉

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  89. Ma Deuce

    fly, i’m not sure what’s more entertaining. you, or this guy

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2X8viYVcO0

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  90. Mr. EB

    According to the Devildog inverse inflection point indicator, the market will be UP HUGE tomorrow.

    It’s not just any inverse of Devildog’s posts, it’s the original significant one where he turned bullish for the first time (2 up days then down, so inverse of that is 2 down days (check) then up). It JUST WORKS PERFECTLY.

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  91. ALLPROz

    EB,

    I’ve played the SPY for a long time. DEVILHOG has been “swell” for my long/short indicator of late….keep it up Devil!

    DevilHog a tabbed blogger? Ugh, he’s a PermaBear in a bear market…hard to be wrong…but he manages somehow…

    SPY oversold on daily….still overbought on weekly but looks good for a trade tomorrow…

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  92. Goldie

    I just got home but I had the “pleasure” to hear Cramer say POT’s chart looks bullish…and I could not agree more.. -11% days always get me all bullish n’ shit. Was he snorting coke off his desk when he said that?

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  93. DEVILDOG

    RC, SRS.

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  94. Bman

    So the Fly knows how to use the McClellan Summation Index to determine market turns. This is not rocket science.

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  95. Bman

    Mr. Fly, ever read Jesse Livermore? Now there was a great trader. He said never try to catch the exact bottom or top of a market turn. Dude, you are doing just that. Keep doing that, and you are going to get seriously burned. May as well play options for a living.

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