iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,444 Blog Posts

The SHAM-WOW Squeeze

You shorts thought your regular paper towels were super absorbent. Guess what, the bulls rags are made by the Germans. You know they make great stuff.

The SHAM-WOW rally rag is sucking up all of your money.

Look bears, see all that money, cola, coffee and coin? The SHAM-WOW rally rag sucks it right up.

Quit wasting money on paper towels. My guess, you are spending at least 20 bucks per month on those old things. Get with the Germans: SHAM-WOW.

Into this rally, I want to absorb all of the money, cola, coffee and coin from the bears in KBR, GE, M and BAC.

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75 comments

  1. scum bucket

    Only $19.99

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  2. DEVILDOG

    Finish red today. All your sham wow sucks up is bullshit.

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  3. Pete

    LOL youve been on this shamwow craze all day.

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  4. Shorty

    2 Payments of 9.99 for those that can’t afford the $20. That is one share of GE when it reaches Fly’s target next week.

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  5. The Fly

    You’ll be saying “WOW” every time.

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  6. The Zombie

    Holy Shit! Devil Puppy!
    Going 300% long right now.

    The Fly is God.

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  7. Anton Cigur

    Best commercial on TV.

    Hoping Vince’s rally helps me hit low ball bids on FXP & SRS.

    Christopher Walken says:

    Sham-wow-wee-wow-wow-WOW!

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  8. The Fly

    Nice combo of Walken-Vince, both equal in stature.

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  9. Shorty

    Poor DD doesn’t understand that we have reached a generational bottom. LOL!!

    Honestly though, we have bottomed thanks to a Fed unwilling to allow us to go lower. That is why I am buying and holding GG plus holding on to things like GE. Your Fed has chosen to print money rather than allowing the poorly managed institutions to go bankrupt. So they want inflation instead of deflation. When they see what inflation really means, they will want deflation again. We have several months before that happens, so buy everything while its headed up.

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  10. Anton Cigur

    Walken to play Vince in “Sham-WOW, The Motion Picture.”

    Write it down.

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  11. boca

    LOL The Sham-WOW Rally.

    Classic, Anton. I used to have a serious crush on Christopher Walken.

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  12. New Poster

    Anton, what are your bids on SRS and FXP?

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  13. The Fly

    Right, Vince meets water park, trying to suck up all the water with his rags.

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  14. Anton Cigur

    Boca,

    You’ve always fallen for men with fashion-forward hairstyles.

    _______________

    Bought a little SRS @ $135.65.

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  15. scum bucket

    Fly, if u gonna 2 buy GE buy Moose-a-leeni railroads 2.

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  16. The Contractor

    lol

    Cut it in half and you can use it for a short squeeze, a sustainable rally and then a new bull market!

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  17. The Fly

    You know the Germans, those Nazi bastards, always make good stuff.

    We can cut the SHAM WOW into 10 pieces and wrap them up as 10 individual Christmas presents.

    The kids will love it.

    SHAM WOW.

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  18. Eye No Stuff

    DEVILEGG – I’ve had just about enough of your smug bullshit. I’m making a voodoo doll of your ugly ass, and going to jam a bucket load of pins up it’s ass.

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  19. hmmmmm

    Maybe they’re using SHAM-WOWs in Lake Michigan to get those car fuckers out of there. They would only need like 8, pre-wrung.

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  20. The Fly

    Bernanke and Paulson really need to use a few sham-wows to clean up this credit crisis.

    We can use it in Iraq too.

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  21. Anton Cigur

    New Guy,

    Bid on FXP is 51.50, for no coherent reason.

    The best advice I can give you is to NOT follow my moves.

    I am the difinitive contrary indicator, the way Little Big Man was to Custer in that movie.

    The tabbed bloggers, however, led by our “Host With The Compound Eye,” will rock your trading account.

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  22. DEVILDOG

    New LOWS this month.

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  23. hmmmmm

    ALERT Energy Crisis Solved:

    Lay SHAM-WOWs over Alaska oil sands. Get trashmen with alligator hands to wring them out. Practically pays for itself! WOW!

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  24. Anton Cigur

    DevilDog,

    Long time no see. Please give us your “short list.”

    Is anybody else looking at this bounce as an opportunity to get short?

    _______________

    Also have a bid on a little GE @ 16.85. If I can pay less than Senor Trop and put in a tight stop, I usually do okay.

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  25. TX Slave Trader

    Sir Fly,

    Did I miss a post where you explained what the fuck SHAM-WOW is? From this entry it sounds like some sort of infomercial product that comes on cable at 3am but I’m clueless…..please advise.

    TX

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  26. HEY FLY

    SELL YOUR LONGS BEFORE THE PLUNGE!

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  27. The Fly

    This market has a little MAGIC JACK to it, no?

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  28. Jimmy Chin

    Can someone stuff a Sham-Wow in DEVILDOG’S mouth? Probably gonna need a couple of em to fill that gaping hole.

    Jimmy

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  29. GA

    Going long today was the obvious move, a little too obvious, we close red.

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  30. The Fly

    No worries, I am armed with a few sham-wows to absorb the plunge.

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  31. boca

    One tiny corner of a Sham-WOW is enough to absorb the spit-up of 500 annoying E-Trade babies.

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  32. The Chart Addict

    those magic jack commercials need to die

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  33. Anton Cigur

    Old Guy from The Magic Jack spots, laying out Benjamins from his pimp roll:

    “With a Magic Jack connection to iBC, you could be making

    one hundred,

    two hundred,

    three hundred dollars.

    Sound good?

    How about four hundred,

    five hundred,

    six hundred thousand dollars?”

    Vince:

    “Get off my corner, fucker, or there won’t be enough Sham-WOW to mop up the mess I’ll make of you.”

    –Scene–

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  34. scum bucket

    Google ShamWow! ya lazy bastard!

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  35. Donny

    Donny buys DUG @ 35

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  36. DEVILDOG

    Anton, my SHORT list is any stock listed on any index.

    eye know shit, you’re an idiot.

    shorty, fuck off.

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  37. brian

    that bitch dog lives in okc and she is a mutt….Her hole 4 that matter between her legs would need like 11 sham wows thanks to all those Navy men she hangs with

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  38. see note

    that bitch dog lives in okc and she is a mutt….Her hole 4 that matter between her legs would need like 11 sham wows thanks to all those Navy men she hangs with

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  39. DEVILDOG

    chin, suck my dick you stupid fuck.

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  40. The Fly

    Today’s tell is TLT.

    If it goes lower, the market goes up.

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  41. Anton Cigur

    DevilDog,

    That’s a big list. I’ve bot and sold FXP, ALWAYS selling too soon. Also have avoided SRS until now, as I thought I’d missed the move. Made money on your utility ETF short, but it’s traded too thinly for me to load up. I get burned every time I fuck with the lightly traded stuff.

    Good luck.

    __________________

    Taking Fly’s (and every other experienced trader’s) advice and legging into SRS, but won’t chase it above 140.

    Looks like FXP won’t be hitting my bid today, tho.

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  42. me2

    Watch out, shit is only gonna stop when everything heads to zero and world’s population goes down by half..

    Read this:

    http://www.moneyandmarkets.com/why-this-mouse-is-about-to-roar-28416

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  43. Milo Minderbinder
    Milo Minderbinder

    I gave my wife 2 sham wows, one for the house & one the garage. Instead of gratitude I am in the dog house

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  44. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Boca – can please get the off camera freaky e-trade clown with the Shamu er Sham-WOW when you get the baby. The baby is freaking out Boo Boo, and the clown will make us close in the red.

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  45. Big Mike

    Anybody read up the 2002 Bernanke speech on Deflation?

    http://www.federalreserve.gov/boarddocs/speeches/2002/20021121/default.htm

    It is quite interesting…pretty much EVERYTHING he mentioned as to prevent deflation or stopping it has been used: lowering fed funds near 0, buying asset classes and now possibly buying t-bills.

    Bottom line…under the fiat system, there is no way to have a deflation (since they can print unlimited money), UNLESS there is a huge stress in the financial system…alas Japan.

    Anybody talking about we should go back to the “Gold Standard” must be fully retarded.

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  46. The Fly

    Wow, this rally is succumbing to the evil forces of DevilDog.

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  47. Donny

    Crude is down -$1.57

    That’s your tell.

    This market fucking rolls over unless Crude comes off these lows!

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  48. DEVILDOG

    fly, why does your site attract 90% of the most ignorant bulltards that have absolutely zero understanding of economic fundamentals and no vision of the future. Is it that most of them are just 30 or less and have no experience in what real life is about?

    Going DOWN dumbasses. Go do some reading, get an education or something to improve yourselves. You’re all very, very stupid idiots and you’re really going to get what you deserve in the coming years. Write it DOWN.

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  49. Ron "Ronco" Popeil
    Ron "Ronco" Popeil

    Those SHAM-WOW rags stand no chance next to my Pasta maker and Sausage machine. My machine is endorsed by Charlie G. of CNBC.

    Remember- Just set it and forget it.

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  50. hammer

    Someone needs to put this market in a few Debbie Meyer’s Green Bags.

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  51. The Fly

    Fuck this. I am selling GE here.

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  52. Vince The ShamWow Guy

    Holy Shit. GM sales down 41%?

    Don’t get depressed. If you fuckers load up on my rags we can have the Sham-WOW!! economic recovery.

    Sham-WOW!!

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  53. DD i hope you get what you deserve, a hard kick in the ass follwed by one in the head. gfy you stupid old texas cowpuncher.

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  54. TraderCaddy

    Question: What color is the vomit if one throws up in one of Debbie Meyer’s Green Bags.

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  55. Anton Cigur

    Thanks for the reminder, Ron.

    This year, everybody on my Hana-Kwanzaa-Xmas list is getting a
    Pocket Fisherman.

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  56. jig

    DD, i loaded up more on all of my iETFS at highs today..i agree with your new lows prediction…Fly your still the shit!

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  57. Market Fool

    Devildog is the triple inverse of Jim Cramer.

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  58. Donny

    The DUG Train is about to leave the fucking station:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmFM8MepDjE

    BTW, Gold ain’t shit in a deflationary environment. The Gov’t can print, print, print … it can’t overtake that GIANT sucking sound.

    GIANT Sucking Sound = deLeveraging

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  59. T MOE

    Here comes the hammer

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  60. scum bucket

    Shove your ShamWow! through the shredder, then you can have convenient absorbent Shammy strips, good for flossing various cracks that might need drying and cleaning. ShamWow!

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  61. Big Mike

    Hey Fly,

    Why dont you give DevilDog a tab or something on IBC?

    Like on CNBC, there are always 3 bulls against 1 one bear… In this case, DevilDog is the Gary Shilling in 06.

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  62. Anton Cigur

    If you’re selling GE, then I am, too.

    Hate to brag, but I made .08/share.

    Thanks, Fly.

    ————–

    Market Fool Says:
    Devildog is the triple inverse of Jim Cramer.

    HA!

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  63. T MOE

    Watch the oils they will lead this shitty market lower

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  64. Ron "Ronco" Popeil
    Ron "Ronco" Popeil

    Thank you Anton. You are one of my favorite customers.
    You might also want to consider a Veg-O-Matic or my Solid Flavor Injector.

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  65. Anton Cigur

    Ron,

    Actually, I enjoy the cognitive dissonance your “Salad Shooter”
    causes among my vegetarian and PETA friends.

    Keep up the good work!

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  66. Yogi & Boo Boo

    DD – It seems that many here have no sense of humour [sic] or grace when they are on the losing side of a trade. They get their chin’s kicked in and their anonomouses punched off. fuk em and the off camera e-trade clown too.

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  67. Yogi & Boo Boo
    Yogi & Boo Boo

    Anton – +10 Salad shooter. 50 Caliber? 9mm salad shooter for sale. Hardly used. shot 3 heads of Romaine.

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  68. Anton Cigur

    Donny,

    Has DUG already left the station? Feels like I’d be chasing it here.

    Wish I’d legged into SRS with a little more leg.

    {Sigh}

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  69. Ron "Ronco" Popeil
    Ron "Ronco" Popeil

    Vegetarians are weak. I once fed a roomful of PETA freaks vegetables from my Chop-O-Matic which I first greased with the fat left over form the ribs I cooked on my Showtime Rotisserie.

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  70. T MOE

    A little bounce off of 8150 on the dow and 820 on the S&P. Breaking those levels and its an ugly close

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  71. Anton Cigur

    Yogi,

    I was at a gun range a few months ago busting clays with a friend and a couple of guys had a Bushmaster shooting holes in heavy steel plate targets from about 80 yards. The sound, echoing within the dirt mounds surrounding the range, was like some Star Wars weapon.

    Once we figured out they were about half way through a case of beer, we left.

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  72. me2

    I can’t imagine all the idiots..including the humble Fly..who felt that the market was rallying 4 real..not even on shit head mentioned, short covering..now u have it..

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  73. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Anton – LOL That’s sic… 🙂

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  74. tim

    Salad Shooter causes rampant Cognitive Dissonance. Brilliant.

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  75. TraderCaddy

    What happened to Calvino?

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