iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,417 Blog Posts

Where’s My Robe?

I am sure many of you bearish type were doing lines of blow off of your keyboards this morning, as the market swan dived. Much to your chagrin, there are strange, yet fascinating forces at hand, deliberately making stocks go higher. Don’t you just love those guys?

Due to your abject stupidity, you will blame these mysterious/dubious people when your bullshit 5 figure online brokerage account is at zero, crying “No fair. The Gov’t is a scam.” Then, you will develop an absurd case of tourettes, walk around the shopping mall wearing hat made from foil; and, finally, you will die with grotesque deformities of the face and  hands.

As for me, I’ve been on a mission (from the Gods) to bank as much coin possible, prior to the world ending. This way, when we are all dead and shit, I will be richer than you fuckers in the after life. After all, that’s what it’s all about, right?

With my money, I’ve been buying [[ROM]] , The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , [[TBT]] and National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] . I believe the market is 1,000 points cheap and will use my cash horde to buy stocks, whenever moronic money managers are forced to give them away.

Seriously, both National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] and The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] are homeless man cheap. There are others too, like Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] , United States Steel Corporation [[X]] , Southern Copper Corporation (USA) [[PCU]] , Exxon Mobil Corporation [[XOM]] and Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] . However, for some reason, I find my self gravitated, mind you, to just a few names. With all of the volatility— it gives me peace of mind to only have to worry about a few names. If they go down, I nibble, like a small rat inside of a box made from sugar.

In other words, trade small and keep buying as these fuckers trade down. When the market turns, you will be rewarded for your space alien magician-like position management.

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77 comments

  1. tung

    the “Burger King” guy took it…. I saw him ran into McDonald getting big mac

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  2. Nancy Puluzzy

    I can’t wait to spread some of Fly’s wealth around.

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  3. Scottrade Pilot

    I have it.

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  4. Bow Tie Fucker

    I have made bow tie and underpants out of it.

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  5. Donny

    Double position in DIG @ 31

    Avg cost for day 30.50

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  6. DownTick

    Speaking of revealing things, can we get an asshat memorial library for titles like this?

    “Dow 30,000 by 2008” Why It’s Different This Time – Second Printing (Paperback)

    http://www.amazon.com/Dow-2008-Different-This-Time/dp/1893958701/

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  7. Buckeye Bob

    Not to be a bear or anything, but …. anyone have any real ideas on the Lehman CDS settlement next Tuesday?? Anyone think the money markets are hanging out to see where the cash comes from and where it goes??

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  8. Henry Fool

    It is true! Fly was spotted getting his market calls from me.

    Henry Fool

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  9. NoFlyZone

    Forget your robe…where the hell is your time machine?

    NFZ

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  10. Paradigm Shift

    Players keep waiting for another round of liquidation to come through.

    One of these days, it just won’t.

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  11. Joe the Plumber's Helper
    Joe the Plumber's Helper

    I am using it to clean up the Bush Mess in the
    main bathroom.

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  12. Mike Huckabee

    I don’t know how to figger taxes. Do you think
    Joe the Plumber’s Helper can teach me?

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  13. Gwar

    the belt part of your robe dipped in the toilet whilst you were on the throne, its in your washing machine

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  14. Fly’s busy buying leave him alone!!!

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  15. Contractor's Licence Bureau
    Contractor's Licence Bureau

    Turns out that “Joe the Plumber” (actually Sam) is not a licensed plumber- he is only a “plumber’s helper”. He works in a 2-man operation, where his BOSS has the plumber’s license, and “Joe” per local law can not legally plumb.

    It is wrenching to know that Joe’s boss’ operation is not flush with cash, and Joe himself earns a mere $40K – so Obama’s tax plan would help Joe by $900.

    By taking the plunge and buying his boss’ business- which BTW only nets $100,000 a year – is only a pipe dream for Joe.

    And if through some miracle, like hitting the lottery, Joe becomes a small business man and reports $280,000 as NET income on Sched C,
    (after all those allowed business deductions), Joe would pay an extra 3% on the net income over $250,000. In this case 3% of $30,000 = $900 bucks.

    Oh, that PUNITIVE Obama Tax! $900 bucks. The same amount Obama NOW saves Joe.

    Bring out the biodegradable tissue.

    http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081017/NEWS09/810170339/
    -1/NEWS

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  16. mrkcbill

    Warren’s act is getting so tired..I think he is a shill for GS GE and Hank. Look, he needs this fucking choo choo train to keep moving….Insurance,Cola’s,Furniture,Consumer Credit,Jewelry…

    I use to think Cornhusker Football was infallible as well.

    Fuck Warren and his 20-40 billion and his chili and crackers lifestyle.

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  17. alphadawgg

    Warren is way over 47 1/2. That has to factor in somewhere in all this. Stock market billionaires know nothing.

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  18. Paradigm Shift

    Chili & crackers sounds good for lunch.
    A little vinegar, ketchup and onions on the side please.

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  19. Woodshedder

    Buffett is an advisor to Obama’s campaign.

    If that doesn’t make one question whether the old man is lucid, nothing will.

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  20. Anton Cigur

    mrkcbill,

    While I, too, am tired of the folksy bullshit, that old man has made a lot of money for me over the years. One of the first stocks I ever bought.

    And without Buffet, they might fill those hours of “Buffet Special Reports” with “The Dennis Kneale Show” on cnbc.

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  21. Juancho

    Fuck the robe, who has your sandals?

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  22. Henry Fool

    Fly is busy filling out his form 4 on NOV and MOS

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  23. Ripley's Believe It or Not
    Ripley's Believe It or Not

    Obama is a used car salesman with no mechanical experience.

    Danny could run this country better than him.

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  24. Anton Cigur

    Believe it or not, that’s an insult to Danny.

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  25. constipated

    Chili and crackers for lunch = another wave of liquidation, think I’ll try it

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  26. Ok, let's get all political and shit here...and I'm NOT Jake, either
    Ok, let's get all political and shit here...and I'm NOT Jake, either

    The following is a (partial) list (in alphabetical order) of the people that most influenced Barack Obama and/or supported his political career:

    Saul Alinsky – author, radical leftist, inventor of “community organizers”
    Joseph Aramanda – corrupt Chicago businessman
    Bill Ayers – terrorist, extreme leftist, anti-American
    James Baldwin – author, radical leftist, black racist
    Rod Blagojevich – corrupt Chicago machine politician, indicted criminal
    Iva Carruthers – radical leftist, Chicago black racist
    James H. Cone – author, black racist, Communist, inventor of “black liberation theology”
    Allison Davis – corrupt Chicago businessman
    Frank Marshall Davis – author, Communist, black racist, anti-American
    Bernadine Dohrn – terrorist, extreme leftist, anti-American
    W.E.B. DuBois – author, Communist, black racist
    Ralph Ellison – author, radical leftist, black racist
    Louis Farrakhan – black racist, anti-American
    Gregory Galluzzo – leftist, Chicago “community organizer”
    Jesse Jackson Jr. – Chicago machine politician, black racist
    Emil Jones – corrupt Chicago machine politician
    Jerry Kellman – leftist, Chicago “community organizer”
    James Meeks – black racist, radical leftist, anti-American
    Michael Pfleger – extreme leftist, anti-American
    Tony Rezko – corrupt Chicago machine politician, indicted criminal
    Michelle Robinson – black racist, anti-American
    John Stroger – corrupt Chicago machine politician
    Jeremiah Wright – black racist, radical leftist, anti-American
    Richard Wright – author, radical leftist, black racist

    The three that had the greatest influence on Barack Obama were Frank Marshall Davis (his mentor during his teenage years), Jeremiah Wright (his pastor for most of his adult life),
    and Michelle Robinson (his wife).

    Barack himself said in one of his books that the authors that he read that influenced him the most were James Baldwin, W.E.B. DuBois, Ralph Ellison, and Richard Wright.

    All of the “Chicago people” on the list are people that he worked for or that worked for him in furthering his career in the corrupt world of Chicago politics.

    When one sees all of these people listed together, it forms a pretty clear picture of who Barack Obama really is, and some of the people who surround him.

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  27. mrkcbill

    A vicar books into a hotel and says to the hotel clerk
    “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled?”
    She says “No sir, it’s just regular porn. You sick bastard.”

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  28. sniper6

    So a Jewish rabbi, a Catholic Priest, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar.

    The bartender says, “what is this, some kind of a joke?”

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  29. Ripley's Believe It or Not
    Ripley's Believe It or Not

    Anton,
    No offense to Danny intended. We’re merely stating a fact. Danny can run this country, while engaging strippers for lap dances in the Oval Office.

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  30. boca

    “Barack himself said in one of his books that the authors that he read that influenced him the most were James Baldwin, W.E.B. DuBois, Ralph Ellison, and Richard Wright.”

    ^^to the poster above: have you read any books by these authors?

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  31. Juice

    Kevin Depew

    10:47:34 AM

    No positions in stocks mentioned.

    Level With Me

    The probabilities favor a higher close today. Intraday work shows SP 987 is a target on the upside for this move, with the 1016 area likely containing any further upside if 987 is broken.

    This does not change any of the longer-term work, which remains bearish, but at least now we have some potential levels to identify on the upside.

    Scott Reamer

    10:41:37 AM

    No positions in stocks mentioned.

    Is Credit Really Improving?

    It’s remarkable how many sell siders are using two things to anchor bullish/bottoming expectations on: (1) the 1987 analog/VIX, and (2) short term credit spread moves as indicators that the second derivative is changing in credit land.

    Two things to note:

    (1) All historical analogs are artifacts of the user’s limbic system. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t – there are obviously massive qualitative differences between now and all other prior periods – including the Great Depression. We’re in uncharted waters; attempting to use charts that proved navigable in a seperate sea to get through the Scylla and Charibdis has its risks.

    (2) Spreads can move because Treasuries themselves decline/advance while absolute credit costs remain hugely elevated. The 1 day/1 week/1 Month credit market for bank-bank lending has all but been nationalized by the Fed/ECB/BOE. Three-month and out absolute credit levels (Libor) continue to suggest risk aversion on a bank-bank lending basis and is hugely elevated. Three-month Libor ”should” be 1.5% – 2.00%. It’s 4.41%.

    And all of the above fixation on credit spreads ignore the fact that credit costs for a large swath of impaired credit Americans is infinite – which is to say it’s not available at any interest rate.

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  32. Anton Cigur

    Believe it or not, that’s already been done and I think Danny would do a much better, more rigorous job than Bill Clinton. Certainly in the second, “I’m just coastin'” term.

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  33. Anton Cigur

    Boca,

    The posters brow is not wrinkled by deep thought or serious reading.

    It’s going to be another political-pahlooza posting day.

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  34. Bill Clinton, circa 1974
    Bill Clinton, circa 1974

    An important lesson:

    I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me…It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. It had to be deliberate. One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, ‘I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.’ I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, ‘We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.’ And the moral of this story is:

    Always keep your condoms in your car.

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  35. Juice

    Ok, let’s get all political and shit here…and I’m NOT Jake, either –

    thanks for that info.

    Since being Pro-American a la GW Bush & Co, has clearly not worked and has brought this country to the brink, I will cast my meaningless vote for the Candidate with anti-American acquaintances.

    Hopefully they have some better ideas. Maybe if they try to destroy this country, the whole thing will backfire & we’ll become great again.

    Its a Costanza election !

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  36. JakeGint

    Pretty fucking egregious, that if you actually ask a challenging question of the Messiah, his vicious acolytes in the MSM will do a full anal cavity search on your life in order to attempt to discredit you.

    Is this what we can expect from Obama’s America? Big Brother and his minions in the media attacking any little guy with the balls to dare ask Dear Leader a question regarding his Marxist policies?

    Oh, and to the Anonymous Douchebag above who decided it was a “good idea” to roll out the trashing of this poor schlub for this crowd, if you believe in that “$900 tax savings” bullshit you wrote, I have a Bill Clinton Memorial Tax Cut bridge in Little Rock to sell you.

    You are part of the problem, douchebag, have fun in your new Gloruious Big Brother/Dear Leader state.

    ___________

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  37. The Fly

    STOP WITH THE POLITICS

    Who gives a shit?

    Go get some NOV and shit the fuck up.

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  38. j

    anton

    Stop babbling as you’re taking up valuable space.

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  39. ALLPROz

    SU working good for a trade also…

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  40. chivasontherocks

    how do you shit the fuck up?

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  41. Juice

    The Fly, as usual, has a space alien poet magician’s way with words

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  42. Bazily

    Fly, get in the Time Machine and check out NOV earnings next week.

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  43. JakeGint

    I’d have to agree with Boca on the above. All of those authors are worthy, with the exception of perhaps Baldwin, who was a freaking commie and wrote about it in most of his work.

    He also taught at AlphaDawg’s alma mater! Up there, they pronounce it “cawmie.”

    __________

    Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man, is, ironically, the heaviest indictment of white limosine liberalism I have ever read.

    The funny part is, if BO ever learned anything from that book, it was to be incredibly cynical, and to hide his motives.

    _________

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  44. Anton Cigur

    Oh, hi j,

    Why don’t you tie a baby to your head and go play with a dingo?

    And thanks, again, for leaving our country.

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  45. Juice

    I’ll STFU if they do 😉

    I’m already stuffed to the gills in NOV.

    Going to walk the dawg & then take a nice looong bike ride.

    Make the market deliver the goods while I’m gone.

    Thanksyou.

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  46. RC

    NOV will be above 30 next week.

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  47. j

    The place has gone to rack and ruin without me there to steer the ship of state. Look at it since I’ve been gone.

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  48. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Boca – I’m late to this party, but that was my first response also. Richard Wright? Give me a break.

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  49. JakeGint

    Who gives a shit?

    Me, and you should.

    You, of course, do not remember the seventies. I assure you it was a shitty time, even for a kid.


    Go get some NOV and shit the fuck up.

    Done, two days back at near lows. Should I be adding?

    ___

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  50. JakeGint

    Bruce,

    Are you in Fla, or Crooklyn still? I keep trying to imagine your weather…

    It’s fuggin’ cold here in Dixie!

    _____

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  51. RC

    RC knows wonders about NOV.

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  52. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Jake – Thanks. Bravo.

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  53. Back and Fill

    I’m going with the Donnymeister – buy some DIG. Dig?

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  54. alphadawgg

    The nice thing about our capitalist (soon to be somewhat impaired) system is that it matters not who gets elected. You can still make money.

    Start buying, people.

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  55. alphadawgg

    I spit on Baldwin.

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  56. The Fly

    Fuck it, I just realised it’s just another bear market rally. Hell, I can’t call the bottom, no fucker can.

    I closed all my long positions, and have gone short on this bounce.

    Flies are sometimes dumb little insects!

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  57. 4fl3x

    If I buy NOV here, that means I’ve have to average down at $15 and Double down at $10… I’ll wait until $10 to initiate.

    Where’s my volatility @?

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  58. j

    Fly why do you keep pushing that NOV? what’s so special about an oil stock in a commodity bear market?

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  59. Donny

    If this market takes off, DIG will be a big winner!

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  60. 4fl3x

    Where is Jeremy, the edit function needs to be reinstated.

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  61. Juice

    Jake – Amagansett

    nice sunny autumn day – 59 f

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  62. mrkcbill

    I just realised this market will chop balls.

    “The Stock Rake” is working overtime.

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  63. jim

    Regarding Buffet’s statement, here’s an excerpt from Galbraith’s The Great Crash 1929:

    The next day forces were at work which on occasion bring salvation precisely when salvation seems impossible. Stocks rose wonderfully, miraculously, though still on enormous volume. The Times industrials were up 31 points for the day, thus recouping a large part of the terrible losses of the day before. Why this recovery occurred, we will never know. Organized support can have no credit. Organized reassurance has a somewhat better claim…..from Pontico Hills came the first public statement by John D. Rockefeller in several decades. So far as the record shows , it was spontaneous….The statement ran: ‘Believing that fundamental conditions of the country are sound,..my son and I have for some days been purchasing sound common stocks.” The statement was widely applauded, although Eddie Cantor, describing himself as Comedian, Author, Statistician, and Victim, said later, “Sure, who else had any money left?’

    Amazing how history rhymes. Of course, Fly is one of the few with $ left.

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  64. Rat King

    We are fully prepared for the “sugar box” scenario and related contingencies.

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  65. The Fly

    J:

    I’m a sucker for valuation.

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  66. j

    Jim

    It was a different fucking era. Can you fucking idiots that keep bringing up he great depression stop that fucking shit as it really is annoyingly stupid and ignorant.

    those fuckers were on a gold standard then… or rather a gold link. Money supply, fucking money supply fell 30% between 1928 and 1932 which is why the jobless rate rose to 25%.

    Present day Fed….. they started with a balance sheet of around $800 and are now around 1.4 trillion as aresult of this mess. that’s a fucking increase in money supply you dicks which means there is a big build of incubated inflation down the pipeline but not just yet.

    Fly: ban any fucker asshat that thinks he’s seen couple of turns on a chart comparing the present day to the 30’s.

    Furthermore dont skull fuck people with comparisons anything before the break with gold in the 70’s by Nixon.

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  67. j

    thanks fly.

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  68. DownTick

    Woodshedder,

    Get real. Buffet is smarter, more competent and lucid than you ever was, will, or can be.

    A modicum of humility would only grace you.

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  69. Vote Obama

    Jake has seen our deficit “double” over the past 8 years, a total failure in govt handling of Katrina, complete financial collapse and is worried about an Obama administration…hey Jake if you haven’t lost any sleep by now, you ain’t got nothing to worry about

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  70. jim

    J

    Thanks you for those kind words of encouragement. I know it’s different this time, and we can’t possibly repeat the 30’s experience. After all, the government cheesemakers have guaranteed us that all is well.

    Best of luck, and hope you avoid being skull fucked.

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  71. TP

    NOV is not that much cheaper than the average oil stock. And….since new well drilling will be put on ice, while existing holes generate cashflow, these guys will probably get hit slightly worse than the majors from this point on.

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  72. ALLPROz

    Now is when the shorts really become…um…concerned?

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  73. JakeGint

    B — Crampton’s schweet.

    Is that a summer place, or your permanent.

    _______

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  74. boca

    “Why don’t you tie a baby to your head and go play with a dingo?”

    Now, that remark is funnier than all the political stuff put together. I actually chuckled out loud and I *love* babies. Good thing no one was home to hear my hearty chuckles.

    Oh, and Fly and Alpha are right, pay attention to the stock market, sheesh.

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  75. ottnott

    Vote for the Instant Karma Party right now!

    If you must be political during the day, provide some entertainment at least.

    Pinker Tones = Pinko?
    Karma Party = Commie Party?

    Coincidence or conspiracy? Only the kooks know for sure.

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  76. Juice

    Perm place … however I get out of here often in the off season

    where you at in Dixie-Land?

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  77. JakeGint

    Not really in Dixie… more Mason Dixon… on the line, actually.

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