iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,426 Blog Posts

Asshat of the Week Award: KEN FISHER

This evening, some internet friends and I met for a ’round table discussion’, regarding the important matter of the criminality and brazen individualism of the one named Kenneth Fisher.

This man, who is world famous for his mentally unbalanced commercials on Forbes and The Street.com, is a great destroyer of American capitalism and fiat currency and/or faith in mankind.

His funds, as you readily know, are getting assailed, lambasted mind you, to the tune of 30%+ this year, yet he has the fucking nerve and gall/audacity to make public statements regarding stocks, giving advice on crisis management. Is he fucking kidding?

This man needs to be stopped and arrested on charges of conspiracy to destroy the American idiot investor, via low end, yet hypnotizing internet commercials. They are quite good, you must admit. I insist.

Howsoever, Ken is full of all sorts of nugatory data points.

Exhibit A:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koIxJB6uZ28 450 300]

In short, it’s men like Ken Fisher and Bill Miller that make Wall Street look like a place where oversized clowns, with large red noses, get fired out of small cannons into fields of stringed beans. It’s almost as if us Wall Streeters have been reduced to 30 second comedy skits on the Jon Stewart show. This vexes me to no end. I say to hell with these pikers. String them up and seize their assets. Let’s send them to Nike sneaker factories in Thailand, where they can get kaned to death for taking 16 minute lunch breaks.

Speaking of which, as many of you know, I have a bone to pick with “The Commodity King,” Dennis Gartman. I know some of you fuckers love that cretins newsletter. But, let me tell you, anyone with the cannon balls to nickname himself after an entire asset class is a fucking asshole. End of story.

That’s like me saying: “I am the King of all Dollars, master and destroyer, commander of the legions of coin and currency.”

Douchebags.

UPDATE: Speaking of douchebags, check out this new Fox business commercial ripping Cramer. Classic.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yca7nbhyMVY 450 300] If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

86 comments

  1. alphadawgg

    Fisher is a classic douchebag. He’s also said trade deficits don’t matter. ….and what’s up with the hands?

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  2. The Fly

    he has an alligator face.

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  3. j

    Fly:

    I’ve known Dennis for 20 years. He’s a good guy. A really good guy. He can get it wrong at times like we all do, but he’s also very quick to take his lumps and move on. His newsletter to which i have been a subscriber is very informative and offers a good look into overnight events.

    I really think you are unnecessarily being far too hard on him and he really doesn’t deserve it.

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  4. The Fly

    Fuck the Gartman Letter.

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  5. alphadawgg

    Fisher looks like Beavis. Or is it Butthead?

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  6. j

    Yea, what with Ken’s hand gestures. What a douchebag.

    This is a guy that’s talking a good book and then you hear he’s down so much.

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  7. Small Fry

    That Cramer commercial is running like mad on AM radio here in the San Francisco Bay Area — all channels. Exact same audio track.

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  8. DPeezy

    Good to see the AotWA back.
    Although, maybe we’ll be ready to crown a couple new ones after JPM & WFC earnings tomorrow morning.

    Speaking of which, check this out:
    http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/prediction-obama-pick-dimon-treasury/story.aspx?guid={CC95B387-4E33-4883-AB80-EB3FA337E6E3}

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  9. j

    Fly:

    Stop being so stubborn and quick to judge. You don’t have to use Dennis’ letter to trade. It can also be used to get an appreciation of what’s been happening over night without having to go to number places and read individual stories to be better informed.

    Act your age or you’ll be sent to your room for the rest of evening without any candy.

    How do you know what’s been going on? You channel each market?

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  10. alphadawgg

    It’s getting late. I’m going to have sex with my wife. Good night.

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  11. The Fly

    Gartman is a tool. However, I am sure he is a gentleman, as all men from the great state of Virginia are.

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  12. The Fly

    Someone should cut off Fishers hands.

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  13. Mushroomz

    Eat some cereal, go to bed.

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  14. I got through about 25 seconds of his hand gestures before I had to stop it. If he pulled that shit in Iraq he would have his arms and LEGS cut off! What a tool bag!!!

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  15. j

    Someone should cut off Fishers hands.

    No. You would also have to rip the arms off. The hands they could replace with hooks and then he’d be waving those things around like Cap. Hook.

    the upper limbs would have to go.

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  16. j

    Fly:

    Dennis is a gent. Show some friggen respect willya. He never takes people for granted and never leaves them in a lurch when he’s touting trades.

    Like you he ALWAYS puts up his buys and sells.

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  17. ottnott

    Quit picking on Ken about his hand gestures.

    The man is the World Champion Paraplegic Hula Dancer. Show some respect. He can’t stay at the top of his game without constant practice.

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  18. j

    ottnott

    I particularly like the circle he did with the index finger of both hands swinging them around in a sort of hoola hoop montage (towards the beginning). That was cute… especially when you realize the goof ball is down, what , what did fly say? 60 odd %.

    I think we should start an equivalent of a AA for loser fund managers. They’re all sitting in a circle and Ken comes in:

    ” Hi, I’m Ken. I lost 60% of my fund and a recovering loser.”

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  19. DB

    Total asshat! He manages my Roth and it’s down 25+ on the year. Maybe that makes me an asshat lover. Any suggestions on another clown to manage my retirement plan?

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  20. Gio

    LoL at Ottnott.

    Fly, thanks for giving the award to Ken. I’ve been waiting quite a while now.

    CNBC actually ran the Cramer ad. Whats up with that?

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  21. Awake

    Quote:

    “Some people have also noticed an election effect this year”

    Ken:
    “It’s not an election effect per se. What we have discovered is an anomaly going back dozens of years than, between june and november, in an election year, US stocks seem to perform better relative to European stocks, whether the rest of the time US stocks are leading or lagging the economy or not”.

    What a fuck. And to think that I applied to work there when I was desperate.

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  22. solid waste

    Fischer deserves a good caning for the hand gestures alone. there is nothing more fucked up than sychronized finger flips. If there s an asshat of the century award this guy has my vote!

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  23. Treepart

    Those aren’t his real hands.

    I recognized those hands as the hands of none other than CNBC’s Maria Bartriomo. She has mad skills that go beyond broadcasting and giving tug jobs to Mark Haynes after 5 scotch and sodas.

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  24. j

    Fucking idiot ought to be up for two consecutive asshat awards.

    fly:

    roll him over into next week’s asshat as the prick deserves it.

    “synchronized finger flips” deserves a serious headkicking with two awards.

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  25. steve

    Last chance. get McCain on the PPT

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  26. TraderCaddy

    Congrats to the Rays on the Boston massacre last night and turning the BoSox into chowda.

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  27. howard lindzon

    what a gynormous assputz

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  28. TraderCaddy

    Setting up for a possible classic SMH daytrade. INTC,ALTR holding up well in pre-market movement and TXN,AMAT,KLAC not down by a bunch. May buy SMH on gap down and if AAPL holds up will scale into some Q’s for a Spitzer in and out.

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  29. pdf

    Fly ahole/back pattin indicator reachin hi’s – imminent smoking to ur equity coming karma man

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  30. JakeGint

    I think Fischer’s routine would be seriously improved with the addition of finger puppets.

    ___________

    Seriously, watch the video again, and note how still he keeps his head whilst the hands seem to adhere to a completely different agenda altogether.

    It’s almost “muppet-like.”

    _______

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  31. Vaseline Intensive Care

    We are trying to contact the man in your video, the one with the frankenhands and alligator face. Does he do interviews?

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  32. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    I hate Cramer but I keep watching him – strange, no?

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  33. The Game is Rigged
    The Game is Rigged

    The things is names like “Commodity King” sells alot better than “Clueless arrogant dickbag will wipe my ass with your money” or perhaps “I have no fucking idea what im doing thanks for the 2%, now go fuck yourself”

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  34. T Moe

    I love this site. Wish I would have found it sooner.

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  35. ProTrader

    While you freaktards are making fun of people while Rome is burning take a look at Nassim Taleb’s video. Go to Finvziz.com,news,BP. This market ha turned into a slot machine. The only people buying are old fuckers looking at false PE ratios and the FED. It is more important to know what you don’t know than what you think you know. What you think you know is overeducated f

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  36. ProTrader

    fuckups making plans that could not run a business or trade their way out of a paper bag.

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  37. T Moe

    I love it when Cramer does his reccomendations and right away all the pikers start buying then I go short. I like taking their money.

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  38. JakeGint

    It seems Pro Trader was assassinated right there in mid-rant.

    I kept telling him to watch his back, poor bastard…

    _______

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  39. Erin Burnett's Booty Call
    Erin Burnett's Booty Call

    Fisher is a textbook douchebag. He’s so perfect at it.

    What makes it great is that he’s been riding his father’s coattails his whole life. He claims to have made some great market calls, but he’s been non-stop bullish forever, so I have no idea what he’s talking about.

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  40. JakeGint

    CR-AAPL not even negative anymore.

    Watch for the head fake suckers, er… “fellers.”

    ___

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  41. TraderCaddy

    Margaret Brennan looks stoned and or anorexic. Quick, somebody get her a bagel.

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  42. j

    Pro trader

    Dude, go short. Who is holding you back. It’s a free country. So stop it with the ad homs directed to the longs.

    You got you faced ripped the other day and blaming the longs?

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  43. TraderCaddy

    SMH + pre-market.

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  44. JRossWhiting

    Cannon-size balls lol. These newsletters putzs needs to be handled similarly to the tobacco companies. No ads, tax the hell out of them, and turn them into non-profit corporations. Let them die slowly, but make sure they die.

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  45. Market Fool

    Kill them all! 🙂

    Hey at least you don’t have to attempt to vote down (CA Prop 8) your 6 yr old boy being taught that cornholing is okay in california.

    The end is near, be very afraid.

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  46. Market Fool

    CA Prop 8 ^^

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  47. Anonymouse

    Fly, You have some balls judging Gartman with the trading history you have on this blog.

    And You want to launch a PPT? HA!

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  48. El Tiberon

    starting to open a position in ES…

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  49. sniper6

    Fly. I thought you were the king of all dollars, etc. My bad.

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  50. CAP

    Wow there are a lot of Dennis Fartman supporters on this blog. Either that on its Dennis Fartman himself.

    Ken Fisher is a serious asshat. I was reading somewhere that since he started managing money, Fisher has annualized returns of around 4% not including the beating he has taken this year. How do guys like him manage billions ? If Fisher is an asshat then what are his clients ? Giving money to an asshat to invest is plain crazy.

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  51. Bluth Co.

    We giving back Monday’s 1,000 points over the course of the rest of the week?

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  52. Mark Haines is a fat slob
    Mark Haines is a fat slob

    simply stunning that the 1 month T Bill yields .006

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  53. ProTrader

    J;

    I went long the other day and made a 28% gain. I am not saying doom and gloom. I am saying anything is possible. Watch your ass on both sides of the market. My present Idea it is gold. That could change in a day. Get the picture. And yes I made most my 28% in UYG using a Low limit order at the open.

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  54. jig

    anybody think we can snap back today?

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  55. TP

    What the fuck is with Ken Fisher’s crazy hand gestures? If you turn off the volume, he looks like Hitler giving a speech in the 1930’s…. a complete maniac.

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  56. TraderCaddy

    Looking for at least a 2-3% SMH gain by mid-AM if NASDAQ can get+.

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  57. These Colors Don't Run
    These Colors Don't Run

    Fisher is actually an advanced robotic prototype released into the public for observation by the CIA. It’s pretty amazing really when you take that into consideration.

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  58. Donny

    SMN is ripping the balls off the longs again today.

    Hay “J” … Fuck Off, you idiot!

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  59. jig

    look out below..

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  60. JakeGint

    There’s a gap on the Russell at 526 that needs to be filled.

    Keep an eye on it. No similar gaps on the $SPX, which is annoying me.

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  61. JakeGint

    Similar gap to fill on CHK at $16.60.

    May take advantage of that one…

    ________

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  62. 4fl3x

    Rumor on CHK, gappingandyapping got hit with a margin call. He is currently liquidating his shares of CHK, 2000, or approximately 35% of the company. His liquidation should be over with 90 minutes.

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  63. BOOMER

    I bought a little BOOM-age here, in the low 18s.

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  64. Mushroomz

    wtf happened to NOV ? You SSing it FLY ?

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  65. neil young

    my my…hey hey…flys stocks are headed THE WRONG way..theres more to the picture..then meets the eye..come on now..you can pick em better fly!!

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  66. thatrader

    WTF you did to NOV ? SS ?

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  67. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Did someone just send out the memo that the economy is slowing? Is this the most fucktarded market ever? Who’s running this show?

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  68. These Colors Don't Run
    These Colors Don't Run

    You think it’s bad now, wait till Ol’ Ben starts speaking.

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  69. Dinosaur Trader

    AAAAAH! I’m on fire! Make it stop! Make it stop!!!

    -DT

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  70. ProTrader

    By the time you make up your mind the market is going the other way. It you are not a good day trader stay the fuck away.

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  71. Paradigm Shift

    A long squeeze.

    Soon to be reversed to a short squeeze.

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  72. TraderCaddy

    KRE is another good long if market changes- and if you wit 10 minutes it probably will.

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  73. Scully

    6/12/2008:

    ‘Fisher says people have had “the pants scared off them” but when this correction is played out the markets will be back to making gains. His message then is to buy across the markets — and especially in sectors like mining and infrastructure where demand is clearly still strong.’

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  74. j

    can someone explain.

    Is the market surprised with slower retails sales number for sept? This wasn’t even discounted until it came out today?

    Or is this new shorting going on?

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  75. 4fl3x

    Ah saw this on digg, pretty funny.

    The Iraq Door Breaker

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_ISH3tKZcw

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  76. Kiwin

    I read sign language and Fisher says: “The Fly can go fuck himself”.

    Don’t go and shoot the messenger now.

    He was also dabbling in some Jedi mind tricks, get tinfoil around your head, asap.

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  77. TraderCaddy

    Selling KRE for nice 2.50%- still have half SMH @20.52. Can’t watch markets and Leave It To Beaver at the same time.

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  78. Yogi & Boo Boo

    j,
    That was exactly my point in the last post. There must be a whole shitload of under capitalized, over-trading, bottom picking, hero, newbies in here getting both balls chopped off. I don’t get it. Maybe I should try the tinfoil cap and sunglasses getup..

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  79. TraderCaddy

    SMH,KRE and small banks will lead the DIA up 200 by 1:00- all bets off after then.

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  80. Darius

    DOW to 7000 by Friday

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  81. Tim

    Too funny video with Ken Fisher. I laughed my ass off watching him move his hands around. At first, it looked like he was letting his nails dry.

    Excellent post Fly!

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  82. JakeGint

    Looking for NOV at $24.60 or thereabouts.

    That would be a gift from the sandaled one with long flowing robes.

    ____

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  83. JakeGint

    CHK filled at 16.55! Gap filled! C’mon Aubrey!

    __

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  84. jig

    do you have to be a big Fucking D’bag to be a CNBC reporter??

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  85. dee

    ahahah…. June…. *sigh*

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  86. Snapini

    Ken Fisher…boy you couldn’t be more on the money characterizing his personality on air. It’s like he’s on drugs for ADHD while he talks. I’m sure he’s making someone rich with all the air time he buying : )

    Snapini

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