iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,506 Blog Posts

I’m An Asshole

Hey, if you’re into exogenous events and shit, this is your time. I’m making all sorts of “cheddar” today, making you guys look like cavemen carving out the worlds first wheel.

Bets against the banks have been nothing short of Godly. As you know, I opted to “go the distance” with [[PACW]]. And, looky here, the fucker is down more than 7%. That’s what you call “space alien magician trading.” Not that shit you read in the iBD.

Our Government is trying to avert a crisis of biblical proportions. I love to laugh, then spit, on some of you jerkoffs who bellyache over “government intervention.” All of a sudden, as if you knew two gay fiddles and a straight goat about econ 101, espousing: “hey, let the free markets deal with it. What brand of capitalism is this”?

Well, in case your head has been stuck inside of a trombone for the last 9 months, they (U.S. government) have no fucking choice. They made their bed a long, long time ago—albeit a fucked up one. They can’t switch from babysitting and breastfeeding the U.S. economy to gung-ho free markets now.

Are you fucking nuts?

And, furthermore, who ever said we lived in a free market/capitalistic society? Larry Kudllow?

Well, I got news for you buster, Larry Kudlow escaped from the lunatic asylum 20 years ago, and has been ranting ever since. The fucker even thinks the moon is made from cheese. I bet he’d pay to visit the moon, just so he could take off his “life mask” in order to take a bite out of some “moon cheese.”

Okay, enough of that. Sometimes I get carried away.

“The Fly” is probably going to bet on the whole house coming down. However, it will not happen now. Oh, no way.

It will happen on a foggy day in Fall, when your kids are out trick or treating. You will be so busy with your retarded Frankenstein outfit, you might just miss the whole shebang.

With my money, right now, I am overweight, in a very large and erroneous manner, [[RIG]].

Don’t-fuck-with-me!

On the short side, I own a multitude of inverse ETF’s. But, more importantly, I am short [[HDB]], [[PACW]] and [[HRB]].

As you can see with today’s action, three of “The Fly’s” “Retired Five Reverse Horsemen” are going out o’ bidness [sic]: [[FHN]], [[DSL]] and [[FED]].

In addition, there is massive selling in [[MTB]], [[ZION]], [[NCC]], [[RF]], [[SOV]], [[PCBC]], [[WB]], [[FTBK]], [[HBHC]], [[TRMK]], [[CMA]], [[STI]], [[SUSQ]], [[MER]] and of course [[LEH]].

We’re in full throttle fucked mode. Lock and load.

NOTE: I still hold my bullshit [[UYG]] position. I intend on taking a loss on it, sometime Wednesday. And, take a peek at [[HBHC]]. I gave it to your fuckers, on a golden platter, Friday.

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42 comments

  1. Gwar

    The iBD banks groin

    I like JRCC here

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  2. okay

    I think the constant references to gay goats, fiddles, and trombones is a key “lifestyle tell” about “The Fly”.

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  3. boca

    Love the Monkey and Merlin photo, excellent.

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  4. anonymous

    you are a genius

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  5. Wingnut

    Interesting commentary, as always.

    However, I think the Halloween prediction might be a bit optimistic. I guess the bank failures will start coming at 2-3 per week pretty soon. I don’t think the market can take more than 10-15 of these. Thus, I’ll take the under on the Halloween prediction.

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  6. Donny

    The entire fuckin’ economy is going down the shit hole. There will be no safety zones either, including big oil. All of it is going to get fisted, leaving a larger and looser sphincter muscle.

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  7. Jakegint

    The fucker even thinks the moon is made from cheese. I bet he’d pay to visit the moon, just so he could take off his “life mask” in order to take a bite out of some “moon cheese.”

    Okay, enough of that. Sometimes I get carried away.

    You??

    __

    Kidding, of course. We come here for this shit.

    __

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  8. Jakegint

    All of it is going to get fisted, leaving a larger and looser sphincter muscle.

    Shall we file this under “Good News for Donny?”

    _

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  9. boca

    Donny, I like you, you have some smarts but dang, that was some unfortunate imagery LOL.

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  10. Jakegint

    I think the constant references to gay goats, fiddles, and trombones is a key “lifestyle tell” about “The Fly”.

    Hmmmmm…. “Mother Goose Aficionado,” perhaps?

    __

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  11. Donny

    Barney “Fuck Face” Frank is on CNBC suggesting that everything is okay with the asshattery known as Freddie & Fannie. Further noting that this bail out is not really a bail out, but more of an unlikely needed safety net.

    What a gay thang to say!

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  12. j

    Do any of you guys think this market is going up. I haven’t seen or talked to anyone who isn’t negative these days. Even a fucking cabbie this morn told me to sell all my stocks because they’re heading down… an i live in australia. I had to explain what shorting stocks means.. silly fuck.

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  13. gas grass or ass
    gas grass or ass

    Fukc man my 100 shares short HRB is down $11!

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  14. Jakegint

    Jeremy-Fly–

    Okay, the Monkey/Paulson/Merlin ‘shops are excellent.

    But can we put in a request to dub the audio (to
    “Jump Around”) and the movement, like in Chivas’s original jpg?

    ______

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  15. Can of Corn Humper
    Can of Corn Humper

    There’s more monetary and fiscal stimulus in the system than any time since ’03. Yet sentiment is almost universally negative and short interest remains at all time highs. And stocks can’t even hold a short covering rally?

    I’m wearing my crash helmet at all times.

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  16. effin kangaroo

    I know a little something about bounces, and the market is going to bounce….
    Right before it bounces off a cliff like a gay lemming, but a bounce none-the-less.

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  17. CubsRock

    SKF $23 dollar move up to $187, hahah.

    I think every single one of us was prob long this shit in the $90’s…. Fuckin market bs.

    We better capitulate today cause better than expected earnings are on the way…

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  18. nullpointer

    NCC halted

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  19. P

    PACW to single digits, what say you?

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  20. BOOMER

    11:59AM National City issues statement in response to market rumors; co is experiencing no unusual depositor or creditor activity (NCC) 3.20 -1.21 : Co issues the statement in response to market rumors. “National City is experiencing no unusual depositor or creditor activity. As of the close of Friday’s business, the bank maintained more than $12 bln of excess short-term liquidity. Further, as a result of our recent $7 bln capital raise, National City maintains one of the highest Tier I regulatory capital ratios among large banks.” (stock is currently halted)

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  21. The Fly

    PACW to zero.

    Why else would I make it a Reverse Five Horseman?

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  22. BOOMER

    RF to zero?

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  23. Jakegint

    I think every single one of us was prob long this shit in the $90’s…. Fuckin market bs.

    “Was”… “is”…. “will be.”

    ___

    (Sung to the tune of Mel Brooks’ “The Inquisition.”)

    Oh Skiffles!

    You tasty treat!

    Oh Skiffles!

    You can’t be beat!

    With Skiffles, you’ve an ETF….

    That can’t loooooooooooooooooose!

    _______

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  24. CubsRock

    Holy shit, have a look at the XLF 10 year weekly chart, just amazing.

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  25. nullpointer

    holy shit, whats next?

    locusts, frogs and ICBM’s?

    ==============================
    12:12 p.m.
    [NCC] National City share resume trading, down 23.8% at $3.37
    12:12 p.m.
    [SOV] Sovereign Bancorp shares fall 14.4%, to $6.11
    12:08 p.m.
    [WM] Washington Mutual shares fall 27%, to $3.53
    12:07 p.m.
    [KEY] Keycorp shares fall 11%, to $8.74
    12:05 p.m.
    [WB] Wachovia shares fall 13%, to $10
    12:04 p.m.
    [ZION] Zions shares fall 13.6%, to $1.46
    12:04 p.m.
    [DSL] Downey Financial shares fall 12.4%, to $1.48

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  26. PleaseKillMe

    LOL @ Marketwatch on Zions. That’s a good way to spread the fear.

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  27. BOOMER

    Sudden activity in RF…sorry habit

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  28. Jakegint

    Q: How are Madonna and Goldcorp alike?

    A: They are both approaching fitty at a breakneck pace, baseball bat in hand.

    _

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  29. A-Rod

    Also, they both have to go down a big shaft to get the “goods”.

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  30. Aris

    traders are just shorting banks back and forth to each other. the stocks are worthless. C will be back in single digits; JPM and BAC will be teenagers again. SKF to $300 at least.

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  31. Gemini

    Q.: What is the difference between Madonna and Goldcorp?

    A: Goldcorp is acting well.

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  32. TraderCaddy

    C was @ 5 during the S&L crisis in the early ’90s as I recall. Thus far the bank failure rate hasn’t even come close to the S&L failure rate from the early ’90s.
    PS Madonna is a skank. Pass it on.

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  33. CubsRock

    Fly, your old corn plays are coming around. VSE chart looking good, also grabbed some PEIX last week.

    For what it’s worth, Indexes haven’t made lower low yet. However, I’d prefer to just Hit 10,800 today and get it done.

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  34. A-Rod

    I can vouche for the fact that Madonna is a bad, bad, nasty girl. In the words of Ric Flair: Wooooooo!!

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  35. alex van halen

    i think everyone should short the fuck outta UBS just because cnbc, cnn et all keep bringing that weasly little fucker on to say that the S&P will be 1650 at end of year….with a straight fucking face.

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  36. TraderCaddy

    Gonna scalp long ITB (Homebuilders etf) on any bounce. Not going to hang around long though. Will do the Spitzer in and out. Maybe also SMH.

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  37. Anton Cigur

    Theme song for today’s trading:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9nwcpGZE6A

    Don Cornelius for FED chief.

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  38. Bob Pisani's Asshat Mom
    Bob Pisani's Asshat Mom

    Fuck tatoos. BUY PMTI.

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  39. hold on

    would consider that what is happening to regional banks today constitutes a crash. furthermore, if you make your kids trick or treat during market hours you should be locked in a cage with two gay fiddles and a trombone playing goat. poor kids, let em out at night.

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  40. Jakegint

    Halen!!

    ___

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  41. Zenprofit

    The Fly’s Gay Goat Song
    (orchestrated for 2 gay fiddles)

    The Fly’s Gay goat
    Was fellin’ fine
    Ate three red shirts
    Right off the line

    Fly took a stick
    Gave him a whack
    And tied him to
    The railroad track

    The whistle blew
    The train drew nigh
    The Fly’s gay goat
    Was doomed to die

    He gave three groans
    Of awful pain
    Coughed up the shirts
    And flagged the train

    That’s all there is
    This story’s done
    I hope you had
    A lot of fun

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  42. Jakegint

    Zen, no shit, I remember singing that song in third grade.

    Distinctly.

    Without the “gay” addenda, of course.

    It was Catholic school, after all.

    __

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