For brokers generating over $500,000 in revenue, Dimon and Co. will pay them a 100% up front bonus, which includes 25% of JP Morgan stock. And, those lucky fuckers will get additional bonuses of 50% cash and 50% stock, based upon production numbers, over the next three years.
For lesser producers, in the $250k-500k bracket, they will receive a 50% bonus, split evenly between cash and stock.
For losers making less than $250k, they get nothing. Moreover, they probably get to hand in their books, to bigger producing brokers, and look for a new job.
Essentially, a broker making $1 million in gross commissions stands to make over $4 million in bonuses, over the next three years. Anyone in the industry knows that is an incredible deal, for basically doing nothing but go to work.
For JP Morgan: I believe it is a terrible deal, as they try to fend off shark-like recruiters from taking Bear Stearns’ best brokers.
Basically, JPM is taking on one fuck of a money loser.
NOTE: One of my recruiter friends said other firms are willing to payout more than 200% in upfront bonuses, for top producing Bear brokers. This should be interesting.
UPDATE:
I paid more income tax last quarter than most of you Wall Street clowns take home in a year.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601109&sid=an8WOshR0rhY&refer=home
Wood, I just sent you an email. Away for Easter and the rest of the story, etc etc.
I think Fly is starting to have delusions of grandeur again, selling the blog etc, HAHA.
Fuck you.
Want to buy a blog?
What’s the status on the BAC-CFC deal? BAC is prob going fucking nuts and trying to get out of the deal? If I was them I would want the Fed to back stop some of the CFC toxic. Fuck that. Imagine if BAC pulled out? I’m guessing that could spark some shit.
Don’t Sleep.
http://market-ticker.denninger.net/2008/03/how-you-totally-blow-it-as-central.html
Dollar carry trade replaces yen carry trade
damn, we are bad ass
Been hanging around worthless and near worthless brokers for years, and the one guarantee in the market is that the “broker buyout” as described above is almost 100% guaranteed to be diseconomic for the buyer. Merrill’s been doing it for years, much to their stupid chagrin.
Frankly, I’m shocked that Bear has any brokers whatsoever doing less than $500k a year in revenue. I would think a farking “trainee” could smile and dial for that much.
What Bernake has in mind for your ass.
Got gold?
Danny quibbles:
— Watch for the copywrite problems as previously mentioned.
— The Fly is represented by a dead guy?
— The “tagger” writing is too stylized… the only name I can make out is “The Fly.” (Easy E?)
Bear to zero, again:
(From Wood’s BBerg article)
“What they’re doing is setting up a mini-RTC within their own domain,” said Schlesinger. “The Fed is not only breaking new ground with respect to policy initiatives, but breaking new ground functionally in taking on a bad-asset resolution capacity without any authority from Congress to do so, without any oversight.”
Bernanke testifies to the Joint Economic Committee of Congress on April 2. Senator Charles Grassley, an Iowa Republican member of the chamber’s finance committee, said last week he wants details of the Fed’s involvement in the rescue of Bear Stearns.
“I want to understand what the downside risk for the taxpayer is and any upside potential,” Grassley said in a statement on March 20.
Ahhaahahahahahahahahahaaa!!
Upside potential???
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!
Yeah Jake, it’s pretty funny how all the inflation talk went away when the Fed “only” cut by 75 bps and not 100. The whole notion of 100 bps was fucktarded to begin with.
Shed,
Still “feeling bullish?”
(eg)
Cubs,
Well, the Fed actually did cut by 100 if you include the 25 bp “Sunday Night Special” wrapped in the Bear Stearns gift.
Is HANS a buy down here? It is replacing Red Bull in many drinking establishments and recall the 37 area as being a floor.
Correct me if I’m wrong, Jake, but I believe that the 25 bps on Sunday was at the discount window
Need to break through this damn support at 1340
Kidstock,
HANS wouldn’t surprise me if it broke support. Look at their action during the rally last week and the last two days. they went down. they didn’t participate at all and it was the second worst performer in the Nasdaq 100 the other day. Beware if you buy.
Trader Jamie has talked about them a bit at http://traderjamie.blogspot.com/
Wall —
That’s right, my bad. Although opening that window to the riverboat gambling IB’s could be construed as just as bad a sign, I guess.
Jake:
I’m with you on that. It’s a sad, sad state of affairs.