iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,325 Blog Posts

Asshat Stew

This asshat stew is simmered with asshat cubes, bagels, oatmeal, and a few whole cloves.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 2 pounds asshat
  • 2 tablespoons oil
  • 4 medium sword steaks, cut in 1-inch slices
  • 4 medium onions, cut in chunks
  • 4 medium bagels, cut in 1-inch cubes
  • 1 can condensed fucktard
  • 2 cups boiling whiskey
  • 3/4 teaspoon corn sauce
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • dash pepper
  • 4 whole cloves
  • 3 tablespoons Monster Energy Soda
  • 3 tablespoons cold water

PREPARATION:

Cut asshat into cubes; brown in heavy skillet in hot oil. Add bagels, onions, oatmeal, fucktard broth, boiling whiskey, corn sauce, salt, and pepper. Tie cloves in a small cheesecloth bag and add to stew.

Cover and simmer stew for 1 1/2 hours. Drain off liquid into large oatmeal bowl. Mix Monster Energy Soda with the cold water until smooth; blend into the hot liquid in saucepan. Cook, stirring constantly, until thickened. Add thickened fucktard  broth to the asshat and bagel mixture. Remove cloves.
Asshat stew serves 4.

Enjoy!

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34 comments

  1. ME

    i’m short 1 lb of asshat. where can i get me some?

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  2. The Fly

    At your local asshattery.

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  3. kd

    Fly any new juicy info on MVIS. ??????

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  4. The Fly

    mvis recipe pending.

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  5. mrkcbill

    What no FuckerNutter? Or CupFucker?

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  6. Woodshedder

    Where’s the duckbutter?

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  7. Frosty

    FLY…not taking C for a trade, making soup instead…my soup only holds the sacks of baby bears…speaking of sacks…oh forget it.

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  8. Woodshedder

    Frisky, are you a bull here? I can’t figure out what this “baby bears” thing is all about. I figure it is some kind of slur, but I’m not sure.

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  9. The Zombie

    1364 on the Sap. That’ll be your bottom.
    1364 on the S&P 500
    If that support doesn’t hold, The Zombie will have his suicide filmed in Blu-Ray (for the best quality) and have the executor of his will forward the DVD to The Fly.

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  10. Frosty

    Woodshedder…time to be king gizz has passed…baby bears, those calling for a melt down are those that were screaming loud in oct that the monster move higher was upon us….I was a big old bear then…now, even the sand people want to buy C…like they haven’t been a major seller of dollars, please…the easy money on the darkside has already been banked…now day trippers playing for nickles and dimes can chime in.

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  11. Howie

    Fly……..I loved this post. It was truly great, and very entertaining!…….2 questions please…

    Whats the bagels maean or for? ( hidden meaning ?)., and 2

    Whats yu thinking on VMW shortterm?

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  12. JakeGint

    It’s hard to understand Slushy when he’s been locked in the greenhouse for so long.

    You try talking when your mouth and nose are floating in a glassy puddle on the floor.

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  13. Bison Burger

    Alright, selling started early.

    How about another $10 bln from the Abu Dhabi tonight?

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  14. Dinosaur Trader

    The S&P just made a rare “nipple” pattern. That’s neutral.

    -DT

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  15. JakeGint

    (Pay no attention to the fact that Slushy never said a word about being short back in October, or that he’s been screeching for a turn for a weak now as his ass has been battered to butter… Slushy’s a “full grown bear” who’s head is over my mantle).

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  16. Bison Burger

    Nipple is not neutral:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Female_nipple_profile.jpg

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  17. Howie

    Market looks like its getting ready to tank again….money saying…..no way Jose!

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  18. Juju bear

    A variation of that stew would be to top it off with one cupfucker of Romanian goat cheese.

    I covered all my shorts this morning. Glad I did. We may see this bounce a little. Then back down. Swing trading and liking it.

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  19. Howie

    Those FED BASTARDS ! THEY SUCK ! Killing any hiope of a rally! saying shit like the economy is growing and better! CRAP!

    STICK THESE TWO IN THE STEW! WITH PLEANTY OF HOT OIL< The throw the scraps in the disposal, and youtube it!

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  20. DPeezy

    Is it time for the usual late day sell-off yet?
    I’m missing my daily dose of depression.

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  21. Woodshedder

    Frisky, I think you’re dead wrong. The easy money will be made by getting short really soon, before everyone figures out that the bounce will fail.

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  22. Dinosaur Trader

    Bison,

    While that “nipple” you produced had an upward slant to it, the “nipple” formation is indeed neutral.

    You could look it up.

    -DT

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  23. Dinosaur Trader

    Meanwhile, I don’t think this bounce will fail today. Too much volume and institutional moving on that rally off the lows.

    We may not close up 172, but I don’t think we’re going negative.

    Sticking my neck out.

    -DT

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  24. Woodshedder

    Agree DT. Not today.

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  25. GovtFunds

    Fly do you use tap water or bottled? By the way, I’ve heard that dish is best served chiiled.

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  26. Dinosaur Trader

    I guess since I’m temporarily bullish I can rail against the fucking asshat bearshitters.

    Fuck you commies for trying to drive the market lower. Go move to France!

    -DT

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  27. Bison Burger

    This bounce doesn’t matter.

    When the market makes a real turn, it closes up all week and garbage stocks (i.e. CHRS, SWHC, KBH, LYV, QXM, TRGL, NSTK…) get their undeserved squeeze. Like what happened last August.

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  28. Bison Burger

    Ireland.

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  29. mrkcbill

    will c close above or below $30..not that it matters.

    everyone wants to talk about the ‘r’ word. I take a lot of this shit talk with a grain of ‘asshat’ during an election year.

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  30. Daniel

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Asshat Stew, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.

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  31. Doodee

    Thanks for sharing

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  32. gailionge

    I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:

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  33. gailionge

    I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well.

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