Don’t you think I don’t see what’s going on here. This is some bullshit, and I feel the need to call you on it.

You’re just repeating my thesis last year, now that I’m long. Last year, you got high on a message of hope for 2012, and rallied into the final hours of 2011, causing me nasty losses. As I shouted “look at Europe. Look at GDP”, you were like, “NOPE”, and ran through the streets.

So this year, I decide, “hey, I’ll out fox you.” And I get long, completely abandoning everything I believed in, on nothing but the prayer that you all were still the same, short sighted jerks.

Now it all matters, huh? Sure it does. Thanks to this load of crap, my YTD gains are down to 4%, from as high as almost 20%.

Greece voted last night to keep the austerity. Europe will punt again. The dreaded “fiscal cliff” is a bumper sticker. But that’s not what any of this is about.

I have come to realize that the sole driver of this selloff is that it will cause me losses going into the end of the year. This is a curse, placed upon me.

You little faggots had better start getting jovial again, and quick. I demand a Christmas rally. If you could put your head in the sand last year, you’d better get your head back in the sand, and I mean, like, right now.

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This weekend was without a doubt the hardest I have experienced in years.

Throughout the course of the week, my dog began breaking into severe late night episodes that seemed to be triggered by him entering a deep sleep. This was the next phase in a series of stages, the first his loss of hearing, the second his loss of vision, and finally this, that marked all the signs of a brain tumor.

I continued to pray that the effects would go away, giving him relief – there is little I could do, he being almost 15 years old. But it was not in Fate’s wicked plans.

Friday night was the worst. He could not sleep for more than a few hours without wakening in terror and pain, contorting his body. Each time, I carried him outside, so that he could relieve himself. By the morning, I had him lying in bed with me, before he had his final episode. It was so terrifying, I knew the hour to say goodbye was approaching.

I had one final, beautiful morning with him. The very day seemed to cooperate as the skies were clear and it was warm. We sat outside on the same lawn we spent thousands of days together as 15 years of memories flooded my mind and reduced me. I gave him bowls of his favorite treats – ice cream and peanut butter.

We walked around beneath the sun, and for one last moment, everything was fine.

I am secure enough with myself to admit that I cried a good deal this weekend. As late as yesterday, I was rendered to a shower of tears at eclectic intervals. Today, I can write this, sitting in my very lonesome 9th floor office, while maintaining my composure. But his spot by my feet, empty, is a reminder of what has been lost. It is not easy, to know you can never see a loved one again. It was made worse by his parting evoking in me memories of others long gone – friends and family all.

That is the terrible secret of our aging; one that is revealed only with the tearing of our hearts. The final days we spend alive are torn between two very different worlds – the one we have helped to create, and the one that we were born into but that is lost to us forever.

As you have now discovered, this post has nothing to do with any of my vocations. It is purely intended to be an epitaph to a friend. But, there is no shame in that. For if you knew him, you would have to concede it is an honor well deserved of him.

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Be warned, ye who sell short stocks

(footsteps)

For the 11th hour wanes

(footsteps)

And your time approaches

(FOOTSTEPS)

Harken, to the voice of my word

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This morning’s rampant victory has been flagging in a way that almost disheartens me – but not quite. You see, we are not done going higher.

The jobs numbers were complete garbage. For those of you who were in The Fly’s comments the other day, it is exactly as I said it would be; they are heavily over applying seasonality adjustments that do not make sense in this environment. Thereby, we have a “miraculously” low number that’s mere extreme nature should mark it as inaccurate.

As Tyler over at the Zerohedge was more or less instantaneous at pointing out (the guy is fast), if you take out the statistical “horseplay”, jobless claims increased. And oh yeah, apparently one “large” state may have sort of forgotten to even respond to the BLS – which makes the entire sample useless. A “large” state like Texas or California can carry a quarter of the results by itself.

I’m sure this negligence in the face of routine tasks was purely random error not at all swayed by a presidential election being <1 month out…

But I don’t care that the number was garbage. Or that I’m ignoring a ton of negative news.

I’m ultra-long going into the end of 2012 based upon two hypotheses:

1) Turkey legs
2) Ham

And now the IMF is pushing for an end to austerity. Let the money printing fest commence, and bring with it all the blessings of higher stock prices – until demand collapses.

Go ahead and argue with it. I’m not getting bearish again until mid-2013. Things may be destined to fall apart but they can hold together for long enough.

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This POS month is returning, during this same POS time of year, bringing me all the usual blessing of aspersions and inflictions.

In 2010, I watched 10% of my account evaporate as Sallie Mae’s “qualified” leadership bought out a company I was then shorting, STU (who’s loan portfolio I would remark has continued to give headaches through its further deterioration and subprime status), for a 50% premium to last trade.

In 2011, short oil to the teeth, and up an inspiring amount I would add, the financial markets reversed course so suddenly I got whiplash, sending oil from the high $70’s back into the $100 range, in the timespan of a month or two.

And now, 2012, markets are collapsing just as I have decided to be long going into the holidays (for the first time in three years).

Fellows, I don’t know what it is about October, but this month can go to hell.

Don’t worry if you’re losing money today – you weren’t on the wrong side of the trade. October is just on the wrong side of me. And by your grave misfortune, I decided to make your house my ground zero.

Had I been in cash, we would be rallying 300% today. Had I been short, it would have been 600%. As I am long, we will trade to $0.00.

If I someday decided to put all my money in one single position, that stock and that stock alone would receive a legal challenge that sent the company into bankruptcy. If I owned a private company by myself, it would go bankrupt in the month of October.

October is an ass.

However, I somehow always manage to recover from this month’s less-than-genteel facets.

In 2011, I nailed some big trades including APC.

This year in 2012, oil collapsed (going on twice…) and my entire position got back to profitable.

I can survive October. But I would literally pay to see the month thrown out – we’re going to an 11 month calendar.

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I am in the process of completely reinstalling my OS as the devil himself took possession of it.

God save the queen.

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