“Good morning lads, and my what a splendid day it is.
It reminds me of when I was just a boy, taking pennies for good honest work painting fence posts. I was a regular Tom Sawyer.
Would you like to hear a humorous anecdote about personal responsibility?”
(Waves his hand to clean up crew who start making off with burning wreckage of the latest oil rail car fiasco)
“Why I sure love quality management. No good management can ever be held down by any problem. I love buying companies with good management and…
…Woah! Don’t look behind you. Eyes on me, kid.
…now I remember when my textile factory failed. I was quite upset. But did I just lie down? No, no I got back up and turned Omaha into a capital for insurance. Not that I would ever own derivatives, no that would be reckless.
Oh…I uh…I see you looked behind you and saw the smoldering ruin of my monopoly. Well, the thing about that is…
…would you care for a peppermint? I keep them in my breast pocket, and hand them out to children. I remember my grandfather. He was such a kind man. Used to have the most whimsical silver hair and kindest smile.
I was just at the White House the other day, not making special deals for preferential treatment or anything. Have you ever met the President of the United States before? You should write him a letter and tell him all about what you like about jam.”
(Clean up crew flashes an “OK” sign, then leaves)
“Well my good friends, I do believe I must be going now. I have lots of Cherry Coke to drink. Har har har. Before I’m off, let me tell you how important it is to buy good companies at a cheap price. Make sure you pay your taxes and play by all the rules”