Hey, do not concern yourself with Europe’s problems. If you want to escape that old sawmill, all you’ve got to do is throw money into China! China is flashy and new, with all the latest and greatest things to mesmerize you. So says Jim Rogers and other noted China bulls.
The fact that Chinese manufacturing continues to shrink at a rapid pace should not dissuade you in the slightest from throwing your life savings into their equity markets; which are of course guaranteed and well respected legal property, as dictated by the Chinese government. Chinese officials carry themselves with the utmost dignity and respect for their fellow man, and would never do anything that might be viewed as overstepping their bounds.
Never you mind that of China’s $1.2 trillion of exports, 20% of those sales go to the EU (before factoring in the UK), or that exports to the U.S. and the EU were down 12.5% and 19% last year, respectively. These are simply facts, and as everyone knows, China is impervious to facts.
In the golden land of China, Chinese officials do not just falsify reports and create phony statistics. The Party of Mao is so thoroughly in command of China that when unemployment is unsatisfactory and the government feels the need to print better numbers, a corresponding number Chinese people immediately find employment to satisfy those publications. Lesser nations have to spend months organizing labor and resources and managing production targets to achieve this end. But China is simply that much better.
Thus, Chinese officials always speak the truth. Unemployment in China persists because China does not wish to make the rest of the world feel inferior. It is their gift to us; but one day China will simply make it law that everyone in China has a job and is content, and then we will all be like “oh damn, I’m envious.”
Actually, China is so good, you should do more than simply buy their companies, with their crowning achievements of superior Eastern processes and zero error reporting. You should take the next step, and tie up 50% or more of your net worth into highly illiquid investments, like Chinese farmland.
Chinese people absolutely love it when foreigners buy up their ancestral homeland in huge swaths, especially when the Chinese overlords dictate that some of them should be unemployed and suffering, as a sort of fasting. When this happens, it never tempts them to encroach upon the absolute legal rights of the non-Chinese men and women who have seized their properties. As is well known, Chinese communists have incredible respect for property rights, especially of non-citizens.
But if this is not enough for you (and I know you may hardly be containing your excitement), then you can take it all one step further; move to China.
Chinese culture is one of the greatest in the world. From refreshing labor in FOXCONN facilities, to a wonderful 300 mph commute; from morning jogs through stimulating rain in Beijing, to a delicious cup of fetus soup on a chilly night; and all the greatest outlets for you to voice your non-native opinions – a permanent relocation to China is a successful choice for any aspiring investor.
If your Chinese farmland already has a homestead on it, then you are all set. However, should you find yourself in need of housing, it is your good fortune that China has many vacant locations for you to buy – literally entire cities of units, actually. This is because demand for Chinese housing in immense, but China foresaw this decades ago, and hence has managed to stay perfectly ahead of the curve.
The wonderful thing about Chinese housing is the poorly kept secret that no one ever loses money on it. In fact, to accentuate this point, China briefly made it illegal to sell your house for anything less…purely a joke, naturally.
What is certain is that, whether you are committed to a 100% Chinese investment lifestyle, or are just looking to grab yourself some rice paddies or tech companies, China will always be a good investment regardless of what the rest of the planet is doing, because they are totally isolated and in complete control of every aspect of their own nation.
If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter
they are so fascinating, that the Travel Channel shows us over again how eating bugs and rodents, ala cart china style is how your supposed to eat,unlike us dirty americans how choose to eat the chicken leg,and not the foot, like those fascinating chinese people,or is it the beak. good post. fuck china,ala cart of course.
rofl! fiesty as hell on the 9th floor today. So many gems to choose from, but I think this one is my fave…”This is because demand for Chinese housing in immense, but China foresaw this decades ago, and hence has managed to stay perfectly ahead of the curve.” har!
Great job Cain.
Why thank you. I aim to please…myself first and then others, but who’s judging?
What’s the crude outlook for Jan/Feb, Cain? Will we make it to the 80s?
No idea. Based on this string of reports, there’s no reason crude should have ever rallied back in October, much less should it retain these levels.
Yet, here we are, aren’t we?
Cronkite posted a piece by an ex-commodity exchange personality a while back that was great. The guy has theorized that oil companies entered into repurchase agreements from ETFs, and this run is actually insiders milking the oil companies for all they’re worth. Which would mean that once the contracts are all used up…whoosh! we go lower.
But is it real? I don’t know about the timing, I’m just betting on a massive movement down sometime (hopefully before my 1 year anniversary in this death trap of a trade).
“China briefly made it illegal to sell your house for anything less…”
Did they actually revoke that law? Hadn’t heard anything on it since it was introduced. I suppose seeing some housing prices drop 30%+ in a month in certain areas would make even the staunchest supporters of government mandated growth question their policies.
I must say, I like many others here, have a great dislike for Jim Rogers and everything that comes out of his mouth. But, I respect the fact that he has to be of reasonable intelligence given the success he’s enjoyed. That being said, Jimmy is setting himself up to get hosed on this one. Ghost cities Jim! Ghost fucking cities!
I wasn’t of an age where I could understand what was going on, but from what I’ve read, back in the mid to late 80’s it was an accepted fact that Japan would eventually overtake the US. Enter one terribly mismanaged crippling recession and bye bye massive foreign reserves. Bye bye growth. I can definitely see the same happening here.
Yeah, they revoked it very quickly, after public mood swung against them hard.
People don’t like being trapped in their houses, especially if they have aspirations to move up in the world and don’t need to retain that starter house, or if they have bad debt and desperately need the cash to get back up to zero.
The Chinese government decision was highly unpopular. Besides, it didn’t help because Chinese property doesn’t really need sales to go lower. If all new houses are being sold for a 40% discount, well then fuck your law.
OMFG..as DT would say!
(just getting a chance to catch up on reading)
Dear Mr.C.Thaler,
Would you mind so much if I copied and pasted this(particularly, and not personal by any means,into someones elses blog riddled with endless copy and pasting)for many others to absorb?
Just beautiful writing here
Thanks
Lol well whatever you do, don’t get governmented.
Your best post yet.
Swiftian Hilarity.
______
love it