Holding Long The Dollar, Hedges, and Underperforming Assets

Just another day in paradise, on this here Lazy Hedge River.

As the world lights up in a pyre and children go about the streets, I’m sipping on weak fruit cocktails with 8% alcohol by volume, not caring.

My positions are down for the day, but my “sanity investment” is all up, as my short on ERX plays off the general blow out occurring in the energy space and my losses are muted.

I want oil and related investments to bleed like it’s fall of 2008. As the American, European and Asian consumers suffer so thoroughly that they crawl into a hole I want oil to go to $60 a barrel and lower. On February 2, 2012, I want said consumer to see their finance-shadow, which of course will signify 6 more decades of “Oil Price Winter.”

I want all of this, so that the entire region known as the Middle East gets thrown into a wood chipper. I want those assholes so thoroughly buried beneath weak demand for their only natural resource that they literally start murdering each other, for the right to sell to the U.S. and similar countries for dirt cheap prices. I want them to be so utterly incapable of making a cent off of oil production that they are largely incapable of rebuilding their economies, and I don’t have to hear about their bullshit for the rest of my lifetime.

God willing, they will be so broke, my children won’t be bothered by them either.

Going forward, I will keep my position sizing and balance until I see developments within the U.S. government directing me to the tempo of the dollar. I will remain long half destroyed and uninteresting businesses like real estate, agriculture, utilities, uranium miners, and entertainment/gaming because, frankly, how much lower can these industries go?

I will hold cash because you don’t have any.

And in the meantime I will continue getting drunk on inner tubes while forgetting to apply sun lotion, that I might develop melanoma in my later years.

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