Desperate Measures

In a unprecedented move, “The Fly” has begun eating a giant bowl of Lucky Charms cereal, in order to help turn his luck around.

Developing…

I bought 5,000 [[SKF]] @ $99.75.

Disclaimer: If you buy this stock because of this post, you haven’t learned your lesson yet.

Poof. Your bullshit accounts are gone.

–Merlin

While I’m busy destroying myself in the monetary sense, I might as well go physical too. I’m gonna go swing over to the local deli and demand that Chef fucker prepare some fried bacon for me, cooked in lard. I don’t think standard run of the mill bacon has enough cholesterol.

Whatever price he wants to charge me is perfectly acceptable. Inflation does not concern me.

Speaking of inflation, my gardener has jacked up prices on me, citing “high fertilizer costs and gas.” That fucker is hitting me with surcharges, which I have no problem with.

I know people that make 45k per annum and love inflation. This one guy said “it makes me feel rich.” What he meant was, he feels rich buying such expensive items. Normally, he might spend $200 on groceries. But now, with rampant inflation, he spends like $500. He says “it makes me feel high end.”

This is true.

People like buying expensive stuff. It gives them a sense of entitlement. Think about it.

If you were buying new a bottle of wine for a very nice occasion, would you go with the $10 Fetzer or an expensive bottle of Haikko?

Exactly.

We’re all rich, one way or another.

With regards to the market:

I’ve yet to do anything. I’m sort of just wandering around, throwing darts at my monitors. Anyway, I’ll be sure to update you as the day progresses.

Off to eat some bacon.

UPDATE: Funny as a homo-hammer. Take your money out of [[WM]] now. Whoo-hoo!

Hat tip: Crude Broker

I am sitting here, like a true gentleman, losing vast sums of appreciating U.S. dollars, with great poise and grace. I am not panicking or throwing stuff at people down the hall. No, “The Fly” is all about honour [sic] and reason, when it pertains to dealing with setbacks.

Quite frankly, this is the best recession ever. Just today, we have the dollar gaining big time versus the yen, gold crashing through the floor boards and oil shitting the attic. On top of that, [[GOOG]], [[CAT]] and [[HON]] posted kick ass numbers, giving confidence to those who have been loyal to the bull case.

At the same time, [[C]] posted God awful numbers, but its stock is still up huge.

What a shocker.

The commodity bubble is being deflated, which in effect, can fuel a rally in U.S. equities for the next several centuries.

In all seriousness, there is no way I am shorting up here, in the face of a break out in the indices. I’d rather go play with a pinball machine, for the next 10 hours, than try to time a new top in the banks, like some sort of degenerate OTB guy. If that’s the case, I might as well come to work in a wife beater T-shit, cigar in mouth, and drink beer out of an aluminum can, with “impunity.”

In closing, I would like to let my new bear friends know that I hate you and wish a slow painful death for you and all of your pets. Moreover, I believe you are all stupid assholes, who somehow tricked me into disbelieving in Goldilocks (U.S. economy). If I ever find out where you people live or eat, I will dispatch my entire goon squad of Brooklyn jerk-offs to punch the ears off your stupid heads.

The leech wrote:

Guys can I get an honest answer here, no bullshit.

At what price would you really be worried about oil and gas prices? What will crush the consumer? Bull or Bear I would like to know. Thanks!

Fly Response:

No price worries “The Fly.” Actually, like I said before, I hope and pray to God every night, false and real, that oil “super spikes” to $400 per barrel, in order to alleviate traffic in NYC.

“The Fly” looks forward to discussing these matters, and more, in the near future.

Another leech wrote:

At what point does Uncle Ben start defending the dollar?

Fly Response: When oil is at $400 per barrel. Weak dollars make it easy for us to sell our tanks to Egypt.

NOTE: China is down another 2.6% 4.5% in early trade. Is anyone paying attention to this debacle? Anyone?

Back to sharpening my knife.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed0t6gfgqlM 450 300]

Full disclosure:

I was going to stupidly bet against [[GOOG]] today, until Ragin’ emailed me and told me not to.  Luckily, I heeded his advice. I’m a big believer in momentum and  having a hot hand. Let me tell you, RC is on fucking fire. All of you should bow down to his glory and show him some respect.

For now, the trend remains up, as bad news is good and horrendous news is great.

On the long side, I still like oil plays, like [[RIG]] and [[NOV]].

Looking at [[SKF]], I’m sure there will be a great entry point soon, under $105.

Hell, we all know [[GOOG]], [[C]] and [[BAC]] will post disappointing numbers. Looking at the reaction to the share prices of [[JPM]], [[WFC]] and [[MER]], we might as well just pile the fuck into these burning houses.

Earnings? Who cares?

Just buy these stocks and take a few shots of heroin. Everything will be fine.

Ag stocks up too much?

Fuck you.

Those bastards are going up, since people like to eat and shit.

What else makes no sense?

How about shorting some oil and gold up here? While you’re at it, sell you euros and buy dollars.

Finally, tech is a safe haven. Never let anyone tell you differently. Ever.

Just go long some semiconductors, due to Chinese demand—which will never abate.

I’m in combat mode here, after being poleaxed in a variety of subprime short sales. However, I did book significant profits in some of my individual bear bets.

Here is a quick recap:

Covered all of my [[FED]], [[DSL]] and [[WM]] shorts.

Sold all of my [[VMI]].

Bought more [[SMN]].

Sold short [[POT]], [[MON]] and [[DECK]].

Long story short, I now have ample cash to be more flexible with my trades. As of yesterday, I was levered up to my eyeballs in downside plays. Don’t misconstrue. I still believe there is significant downside left in the market. I just need to be more cautious with my risk.

Going into the close, I would like to see [[SKF]] trade under $105 (my buy point). Also, I may bet against [[GOOG]]. Those fuckers are due to miss, and miss big.

Finally, with commodities running like mad, and the dollar in the shitbox, [[SLV]] and [[DGP]] look great here.