A Rally Built From Cement

The nasdaq had a decent day today. Inside of The PPT, my 4g index was up more than 1.4%—vastly outperforming both foreign and commodity stocks. Rightfully so, especially since tech stocks have been battered more than any other sector. If this market is going to rebound, tech stocks will lead the way. However, all sectors will participate, so get your fucking lists ready, as if your name was Santa Claus.

The rally will be buoyed by treasury/yen/dollar weakness. In addition, we should see a decent rally in oil, which is why I took down a position in UCO today. I expect to sell most of my recent positions into this rally; but I have not written such prophecies in stone—only cement.

Some of my long positions include BUCY, FLS, TNA, FAS, CBL, BAC, GLW and EWZ.

It chagrins me a great deal to be missing out on a party I have planned on attending since the beginning of 2010. While you may view this decline as something of fantasy, I was expecting this to happen—as the economy double dips into Hades. The reason why I am quasi bullish now has nothing to do with fundamentals. It is about the rubber band effect and the results of sticking ones head in a hot oven for too long. Nothing goes up or down in a straight line. I am positioned for a bounce; but still have 1/4th of my assets in an alleged downside hedge, VXX. Keep that in mind when I talk of menthol cigarettes and American dreams.

As scheduled, just in time for the debut of Wall Street II, the market shall feel the pain of unrelenting asshattery. When the time comes, I plan to have zero longs and chockful of shorts. There are many things to worry about: widening CDS in Venezuela, Argentina, PIGS and the biggest bubble known to mankind China. However, everything works on a schedule.

The rubber band is stretched to its limit and in need of a little release. I am not sure we will get some fantasm of a rally today; but it’s coming.

Off to vacation again, Obama style.

I initiated a position in UCO, FLS and added to EWZ.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, you will fall victim to a heinous act of immoral stupidity. And, you may lose money.

There is no time to waste. You mustn’t procrastinate any longer, for this market is about to rip your short hairs off. The rebound will be lead by CRE and retail stocks and there is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

We need the dollar and TLT to start nosediving; then we will have our rally, AND MORE. This coming rally represents freedom, democracy and the American way. It is everything your Grandparents built and nothing you opt to destroy. This rally will make all other rallies look like child’s play, sort of how the ruins of Puma Punku make the shitty pyramids at Giza look. This rally will be the crown jewel achievement of the O’bama administration. He will laud it from the perch of his vacation home as “the greatest American achievement since the invention of menthol cigarettes.” This rally, in short, will punch your fucking faces and necks off—mainly because you deserve it.

You can go back to dancing again. Thank you for your time.

I know my boy Scotty likes to throw my little VXX into his play volcano, where he stacks it with Pepsi and mentos; but you must admit, with all of the shit hitting the fan right now, volatility is cheap. For the love of fucks sake, it was trading above $30 in a market that was not nearly as creatively destructive as this one. We got imbeciles doing “The Hugh Hendry” long TLT, on the exchange floor, as if that shit was really a dance move. And, the currency degenerates aka OTB guys, are destroying the entire country of Japan, via forcing yen higher. This all stinks to high heavens, despite JAKEGINT’s “cement head” (CH) demeanor. As the handsome Senator from KY country gets ready for his run in 2012, “The Fly” is busy trying to save his overzealous kids from drowning in the Pacific ocean.

As it stands now, this little trip of mine is proving to be immensely expensive, as I find myself out of the loop of certain things to do with Wall Street and “in the know” of cool places to gobble down eggs benedict. There is a certain laziness to the California lifestyle, which is much different than NYC. In NY, I tend to be on edge all of the time, looking out for murderholes. Over here, I seem to not care about holes, whether they are pits with money in them or life vacuums.

As I can see by the close, stocks closed badly today. At this point, I cannot be optimistic. Seeing my VXX position barely up in the sea of tragedy, I am disappointed, but not demoralized. As this hole in the Earth gets bigger, people will eventually fall into the vortex and force them to declare “mercy.” When they do this, by way of capitulation, I will sell VXX for more than $30.

Before that happens, as God is my witness, we shall have a rally—especially since the laws of mathematics kicked in today.

More on this later.

Homes sales are through the fucking floor boards. Now, I don’t want to hear about unemployment rates or how poor America is, when it comes to these numbers. After all, everyone I know has a job and lots of money in the bank, sans a few assholes that I grew up with in Brooklyn. With home prices 30-60% lower than where they were 5 years ago, the only logical answer to the “housing question” is “The Banks Hate You.”

You fuckers burned them last time around and now they hate you. Can you blame them, really? You fucking deadbeats nearly destroyed the entire world-wide shadow banking system, with your retarded Mcmansions. Hell, if I was a banker, I’d toss my dollars anywhere but the housing market. Because of this fact, I believe the Fed is trying to squeeze the banks into upping their risk profiles, by way of tightening the spread. They can’t raise rates, for that would cement the economy down. However, they can manipulate bond yields, effectively tightening the noose around the bankers necks.

The game of borrowing money from the Fed at low rates and buying treasuries is coming to an end. “The Hugh Hendry” has run its course, as predicted here by the way. The upside to TLT is limited and the risk is now on the other foot, if I might be so bold (no idea what that means).

We need ZERO DOC, ZERO INCOME NEEDED type of loans again, only this time at lower real estate values, to save the country from a housing depression that will make your faces bleed (again, no idea what I am writing here). The point I am trying to make, rather ineffectively: Your local bankers need to up the ante. Are they man enough to lend you money again? Are they stupid enough to finance more Mcmansions in the middle of the desert?

NOTE: CRE stocks are leading this bounce higher, alongside homies.

We should be down 300-400 points today, considering the Yen and bond markets are unhinged. Take into consideration the bloodbath in Europe, we are fortunate to have such lovely, benign, robots controlling our markets. Those French robots must be real assholes. I bet they smoke cigarettes on the trading floor.

I made a commitment to refrain from making any trades, until after 10:30. The reasoning is to allow the excess to get out of the tape, considering  all of the pole smokers who jumped in/out of the market, following the HORRIFIC housing numbers. You must understand, days like today is when you lose it all, literally. The tape looks so bad, it’s as if the stock Gods are granting us all a gift, in the form of FREE SHORT SALES. Hell, we can short anything and get rich. Oh, but wait, it gets dicier. All of a sudden, the dollar goes down and inflationistas start diving into empty pools again, via large directional long bets. Eventually, the pool is filled with a bunch of dead bodies, making it safe for newly minted inflationistas to jump in, without fear of death. Then the rally begins.

In no way am I suggesting, at such an early hour, that we will have a pool over flowing with inflationistas, which effectively will lend towards a robust bounce. That would be most preposterous, small pleb. I am only offering an alternative ending to the fucked up story-line we are given.

In short, keep your eyes on the metals, banks and tech. Dollar weakness is good. But we need some deterioration in the Yen and bond markets, if we are to witness a bounce of stupendous proportions.

You better get to throwing coins at your pagan statues, for today’s set-up feels more like an ambush. I cannot believe what I am seeing, with regards to FXY/TLT. Even more so, I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS FUCKING HOTEL HAS CRAPPY WIFI.

Either way, be very careful out there and keep in mind, this market can remain irrational for as long as it wants. From my early looks, most sectors are getting poleaxed to the point where a down 3% day would not surprise me. A lot of people think we can bounce here, which is true. However, don’t count on Hail Marys winning the game. Do yourselves a favor and get hedged, even if you hate doing it. Do it.

More later.

UPDATE: I am staying put until 10:30 NYC time.

I’ve been thinking about today’s stock market “debacle”, while devouring the best food known to mankind. Then it dawned on me: we were only down 40 points. You fucking n00bs. Check this out. Are you listening? I kan spall chit wrung al dey lung an steel git mor traffik then u. I could write like a complete imbecile and still check in at 40,000 page views by this time tomorrow.

Do you know why?

ANSWER: I’m “The Fly”, motherfucker, while you’re just some guy talking shit.  See pal, I make shit, while you just talk it (it really was not meant to sound as disgusting as it just did). I don’t even proof read this shit or “brainstorm” for ideas. I just flow, like the Earth shits into Louisiana.

Everyone is so fucking concerned with stock prices. There is so much apprehension, due to bonds yen and a stalling U.S. economy, that a plausible and likely counter-trend rally is setting up to smash your fucking balls in with a meat cleaver. I’m not talking about some bullshit IKEA meat cleaver either. I’m talking 1950’s style hardware, pal.

Here’s the set-up:

Bank of Japan wakes up and helps push yen lower, which will RAPE all current momo players, leading to a full scale route on the currency. As a result, the NIKKEI will spring board higher, as well as most Pac-Rim indices. U.S. markets will be fueled by the deflation of the deflationary treasury bubble, oddly enough. And, finally, GDP data will be benign enough to support a late year rally. Nonetheless, we still go lower in September. But, this shit is building up; trust me when I tell you: PROTECT YOUR FUCKING MUSTACHES.

In the meantime, I will continue to play both ends of the trade and support a 15%+ cash position.

My flight to California cost me a fucking bundle, having missed the morning spike—then subsequently pummeled under a sea of red. I don’t have numbers in front of me now. But, let’s just say, today had to be one of the worst days in a long time for me, with longs down as well as my fucktarded “hedge” VXX.

It would be preposterous for me to suggest today was meaningless. The bulls are pussified into a deep stupor. They are scared of the yen and the bond market and deserve to be splashed with howitzers to the face. In order to console my grieving soul, I will head out to spend a few g’s on meaningless shit.

A more detailed assessment will be posted later on tonight.