Ten Stocks For Your Stupid Grandkids

A very common theme I’ve learned to understand is that people tend to gamble their own money like sailors, but prefer to be stewards of austerity when it comes to inheritance or gifts. They will buy Chinese burrito accounting scams in their own accounts on margin, but Disney for their stupid grandkids. If you really think about it, the exact opposite should occur, being that the stupid grandkids are considerably younger and have many years of earnings ahead.

Nevertheless, I understand the sentiment of wanting to gift the kids with something that will be around and can grow for an extended period of time.

There are several prerequisites one must apply when screening for these stocks, the first being dividends. Your choices MUST pay dividends. Do not force me to explain why; instead, why don’t you take my word for it? The second and third are minimum market cap of $1 billion and earnings per share profitability. Discard with the high beta money losers. After all, these securities are for your stupid grandkids.

Lastly, I like to screen for growth when I can. I’ve placed in a minimum growth metric of 15% for revenues and 5% for earnings. In addition, I’ve taken into consideration return on equity, a true measure of a companies vibrancy.

Here are my picks and this is my screen.

QCOM

AMT

INTU

EMN

WLP

ETN

IACI

BX

MTB

BKH

This was designed to be implemented as a portfolio, not singular picks. I’ve found, in my many years of experience, managing money professionally, that having the larger picture in mind is always preferred to the degeneracy of the short lived piker day trader bastard.

I closed the day +1.2%, leveraged at 130% of assets, smoking my pipe filled with the remains of my enemies.

I am not required to say anything else; therefore, I will not.

Good day.

I added to my TRLA position.

The 300 point rally cracked the cement heads of Tea Party republicans to strike a deal. Although nothing has been announced yet, I am fairly certain something will be announced within a week. Now the focus will shift to earnings, then holiday sales. For the most part, retail sales have been lackluster. But, many retail stocks have been hammered in recent months. There is opportunity in the sector.

Gold is being destroyed today because stupid people own it.

I like my chances at adding to gains today. Optimism should continue into the weekend. I can’t think of a reason to be short right now. It is a recipe for capital losses.

Top picks: BALT, YELP, YY, SUNE.

Your mother is a goat-sucking whore! If my stocks go down tomorrow because of you, I am going to fill this fancy box with your testicles (maniacal laugh…OVER).
-SKELETOR

Do not fret about stocks any longer. Rejoice in the grandeur that is Secretary Lew. He saved the day, with his annoyed demeanor and direct punches to the face of retarded congressmen.

Expect the market to trade to new highs, because QE infinitum is back in play.

Several hours ago, I went back in, fully long, leveraged at 120% long. Aside from the stocks that I own, I like GOGO, GIMO, WETF and WDAY.

This isn’t a debate. I am relaying future facts to you today.

Just in case you’re wondering, yes, The PPT nailed it again.

Much to my surprise, the GOP caved after the Lew testimony. Based upon my over-arching bullish thesis, I am obligated to go “all in” on any news that we will not commit national suicide.

As such, I added to BALT, NSTG and YELP, while starting new positions in YY and TRLA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRhNcH1aIf8

Being 70% long into today, I am enjoying the respite. After watching Secretary Lew’s testimony, I am more convinced than ever about the stupidity infecting the brains of our congress, especially the GOP.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THESE PEOPLE? I thought they were the party of big business? Now they are the party of destruction, gold bugs in the craw of the American public. I can’t take it anymore.

Look, I’d love to tell you the crisis is over. His testimony was very direct and eloquent. However, these Tea Party guys, spearheaded by hard core ideologues, ARE NOT LISTENING.

In short, enjoy the respite and take money off the table. Do not trust your local congressman to do the right thing.

I am pleasantly surprised by the ferocity by his exchange with the Jesus loving crisis deniers in the GOP. As such, futures are up even moar. HOWEVER, don’t think for a second the Tea Party cares. They want to reincarnate you.

Here is the live feed of his presentation and Q and A.

UPDATE: Republicans keep saying “they’re not buying” the notion that the “sky is falling.” UNREAL.

S&P futures are +16. Don’t bother to look for news, because there isn’t any.

The Treasury Sec will make a presentation at 8am, in an attempt to “scare congress straight” (no homo).

Here is a live feed of his stupid speech.