Claim: iPhone 7 Bursted into Flames and Burned a Man’s Car Down to a Cinder, Investors Yawn

A man in Australia had the audacity to leave his brand new,  Tim ‘Gay’ Cook inspired, iPhone 7 under a pile of clothes in his car while he sauntered the beach in search of waves. Upon returning to his car and new iPhone, his car was in ruins — a smoldering mess of epic proportions.

Matt Jones is now without both a phone and a car.

The surf instructor bought the phone just one week ago and says he hasn’t dropped it or used a foreign charger

The tech giant Apple wouldn’t comment but said they were aware of the complaint and they are investigating.

This isn’t the first time people have complained over the iPhone 7 exploding or bursting into flames. The amusing aspect of this story, which has been developing for weeks, is the oblivious nature of Apple investors.  The stock is higher by 3% over the past month, which would make sense if their phone wasn’t bursting into flames and scarring the faces of innocent Chinese consumers.

If it weren’t for the fact that Samsung was recalling their weapons of mass destruction, Apple’s stock would be getting hammered now.

I always find the Morning Joe show mildly amusing, in a maniacal way. It is, after all, hosted by a former house republican shill and the daughter of the architect of the modern New World Order, none other than arc neocon and former National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brezinski. Her dandy of a brother is the U.S. Ambassador to Sweden. How quaint.

Here is the olde man getting his neocon on.

I don’t think you understand how dangerous these people are (ducks from black helicopter).

Anyway, back to the campy and clown-like Kristol. He lost his shit on Morning Joe today. Bear in mind, he’s one of the leaders of the NeverTrump cabal of establishment, war mongering, republicans, who only serve the eagle and its desire to feed.

Nearly brought to tears.

An interesting side note to the establishment websites, their traffic is melting down  —  just like their leaders. Let’s compare Bill Kristol’s Weeklystandard to that of TheGatewayPundit, an ardent Trump supporter.

In a Presidential election season, traffic for political oriented sites should be soaring. Instead, the morons at WeeklyStandard have been collapsing.

Compare the WeeklyStandard to TheGatewayPundit and you can see what the people are interested in reading.

Believe me (extra Trump), the same goes for finance sites. I’d say upwards of 75% of them are undergoing sharp drawdowns in traffic — due to the monotonous nature of the market. If you aren’t diversifying your content and adapting to the times, you’re becoming increasingly irrelevant.

I see Malik Obama on Fox regurgitating GOP talking points and on Twitter, casting crazy shade on his half brother, President Barack Obama, and can only help but to think this is an elaborate joke — a Trojan horse of sorts. Malik was very close to Barry, up until their fallout in 2013 — allegedly related to Malik’s foundation that Barack wanted closed. Maybe he should’ve offer the same advice to Hillary too.

Malik was Barack’s best man and vice versa, which makes this public spectacle all the more disheartening. Even someone malovently insidious, like Obama, needs comfort of family. The fact that republicans are eating it up to embarrass the President is juvenile and one of the reasons why Trump crushed all of their little establishment men during the primaries.

They’re tone deaf.

Even if America dislikes Obama, more or less, family is cherished. Malik is probably a bitter opportunist and I doubt he truly has anything in common with Trump, other than a somewhat acrimonious relationship with the thin man in the White House.

Here are some of Malik’s recent tweets. They look like they were written by Karl Rove.

Making fun of hedge funds is something of a hobby for most people across the internets. If you were truly being honest with yourselves, you’d realize that, for the most part, successful hedge fund managers know more about the market than the layman traversing Stocktwits all day long. And two, you’d come to realize that you’re jealous of their fame and fortune. Therefore, whenever you read about me talking extreme shit about Montauk Bill Ackman, you click and eat it up.

For the third quarter, investors pulled $28.2b from funds, the most since the financial crisis.

For the first 9 months, the industry has given birth of a maelstrom of redemptions — equalling an staggering $51.5b.

Those large numbers are woefully misleading, since the pie has gotten much, much bigger. Total assets are in the ballpark of $3t, placing the headline grabbing outflows as nothing more than a rounding error.

Investors are pulling money because the market has been hard. But also, many people are deciding to invest their money without help. I’m seeing this first hand with Exodus. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine called me just last week to tell me his client was also a member of Exodus — totally random coincidence.

This isn’t the 1990s when computers were idiot boxes and hedge fund managers had exclusive access to companies to game the system, or when guys like Icahn extorted companies for greenmail to make hefty returns. The playing field, more or less, is even.

If you can’t afford a $2,500 per mo Bloomberg Terminal, so what? Odds are, you’d only use 5% of the functionality anyway. There are literally endless ways to game a modern, technological edge, when investing your money. From reading the missives of talented traders, like OA and RC, to gleaning info from your Twitter feed, to extracting information from whichever software service you are a member of, the hedge fund industry is ripe for the picking.

Nevertheless, much of that money is institutional and they’d never invest it themselves, for legal reasons. So they create a moat by passing on the fiduciary responsibility to Ackman and others. But, that doesn’t mean an entrepreneurial investment advisor, running his own firm, can’t compete for that money — because he can and will.

This is a very convoluted discussion, one with risks and opportunities. People will always need some form of help to make investments. I just don’t think the managers of hedge funds are inherently bad investors. Instead, I think the market has been very difficult for people managing more than 4 figs and also the 2/20 model is broken, arrogant, and in need of reform.

For the better part of the past 3 months, markets have lost its élan vital, its virile spirits which propelled it from the doom filled days of February, when all seemed lost and China was inexorably ravaged, to new glorious heights.

Since then, the dry bulk index has risen by 193% and stocks bottomed — paving the way for a widely hated market rally, which seemed out of sync with the numbers coming out of corporate America. Nevertheless, there have been terrific gains in a wide array of industries, many in both semis and commodities, enabling many to exit the summer months with an acute sense of achievement and accomplishment. The deficits that had a forlorn affect on the moods of professional money managers have all but dissipated, up until very recently after renewed concerns that the Fed would hike rates into an already stupid and rotten oligarch’d economy.

On news that Draghi wouldn’t self mutilate himself in front of the press today, stocks have sold off.

The true story here is the non stop run in the dollar, something that is sure to be mentioned as a reason for earnings short falls this quarter.

The market is begging, like dogs, for more QE. Without the rigging of markets and rigging of US elections, freedom and prosperity might prevail. Those of us domiciled in middle earth would prefer that freedoms be curtailed and the poor watched over closely. It’s in the best interest of a certain subset of our society to draw from the very best and cheapest labor available in the world. Our corporations cheerfully uplift these bedraggled people and increase their standard of living. One day, said people might purchase a Coca Cola whilst entering inane messages into their Facebook messenger on their fireproof Apple mobile phone.

While some might argue that these policies decrease the standard of living for Americans at home, while promoting a consumerism economy, one based on marketing to an already low information public — saddling them with debt and taxes that bar them from rising above their place, I can only suggest that they move to Mumbai and try avoiding getting raped on public transport or having their hair cut off while eating a riced pudding snack.

The world is changing and our mode of living with it. The internet is no longer a disorganized mess of shifty artists attempting to express themselves, but a well oiled and very greased up corporate machine whose sole purpose is to collect data, from which agencies and retailers might bargain to either watch you closely or sell you a handbag. The news is uniform and the social media empires ensure that competition remains at bay. As long as people are focused on tapping into Facebook and Twitter, they’ll lose interest in trying to compete.

The socials are, essentially, the welfare of the internet, giving people just enough to satisfy their craven demands for attention and praise.

Off to Twitter.

This is a lot to do about nothing. The ECB is scheduled to end QE in March of 2017, at which point the US will likely takeover and do their own QE. We keep taking turns, don’t we?

The euro is heading lower after Draghi’s comments were interpreted as somewhat hawkish? Really? That’s a bit of a stretch. The fucking bird faced man just said the degeneracy wouldn’t end abruptly. Some view that as a suggestion he might taper. All of you need to visit psychiatrists. You’re spending far too much time listening to these maniacs.

Mario Draghi says quantitative easing is unlikely to end abruptly.

Our story: https://t.co/puAqrbEaN9
New video: pic.twitter.com/yVyAgl3xPJ

— Bloomberg (@business) October 20, 2016

LATEST: Mario Draghi says euro area's economic outlook remains subject to downside risks https://t.co/puAqrbEaN9 pic.twitter.com/fLLflQc9uf

— Bloomberg (@business) October 20, 2016

LATEST: Mario Draghi says euro area's economic outlook remains subject to downside risks https://t.co/puAqrbEaN9 pic.twitter.com/fLLflQc9uf

— Bloomberg (@business) October 20, 2016

“An abrupt ending to bond purchases, I think, is unlikely,” the ECB president said in a press conference in Frankfurt on Thursday. “We remain committed to preserving a very substantial degree of monetary accommodation.”

The comments keep the central bank on track for a potential extension of its bond-buying program as predicted by economists. Draghi said the Governing Council didn’t discuss any extension or tapering of the program in this policy meeting, while noting that the publication of fresh economic forecasts in December, as well as the results of internal studies on options to avoid running into bond shortages, will help the decision then.

Earlier on Thursday, the 25-member Governing council left its main refinancing rate unchanged at zero, the deposit rate at minus 0.4 percent, and reaffirmed that asset purchases will continue to run at the pace of 80 billion euros ($88 billion) per month until March 2017 and in any case until policy makers see a sustained pick-up in inflation toward its goal of just under 2 percent.

“Information that has become available since the meeting in early September confirms a continued moderate, steady recovery, and a gradual rise in inflation in line with previous expectations,” Draghi said, adding that risks to this baseline scenario remain to the “downside.”

Stocks dumped out, euro lower, and gold nonsensically higher. See how none of that made any sense? Good. It’s called obsfucation. You’ll get twisted in a tight whirlwind and then BAM, they’ll cut your fucking heads off.

Some of you are either too young or stupid to remember the financial crisis. Part of it built up thanks to CDO’s, CMO’s and CLO’s. I remember vividly working at my investment bank and was told to sell their CLO products, which yielded 10%+. I said no thanks, quit, started my own shop, and avoided the entire fiasco.

Well, thanks to the negative rate policies in Europe, and over $10 trillion in debt with zero yields, investors are gobbling up this toxic shit again. I wonder what sort of leverage is being used here, in order to get the yields? Maybe they’re leveraging 10-30x? Who the fuck knows? Nothing could go wrong.

“The CLO market looks strong in Europe this year,” said Dominik Winnicki, a London-based credit strategist at Barclays. “There is new money in CLOs, and CLO buyers are a big part of loan demand.”

The growth in CLOs, and a slowdown in new-loan issuance, has pushed leveraged-loan prices in Europe to the highest since 2007, based on an S&P Global Inc. index. New-loan sales fell about 20 percent in each of the past two years, according to data compiled by Bloomberg. This year, they are little changed at 92 billion euros, the data show.

About 12.7 billion euros of new CLOs have been issued this year, and the annual total will probably surpass 15 billion euros, Winnicki said. That’s up from 13.8 billion euros last year and 14.4 billion euros in 2014, he said.

That’s fucking great. We’re now doing the exact same thing that got us into the financial crisis to begin with. Let’s now get rid of Dodd-Frank, permit the investment banks to leverage up their balance sheets on collateralized debt, maybe this time leveraged energy debt, and have a go at it.

This is making the rounds. If you remember the drama from the first debate, which led people to believe Hillary, in fact, had an earpiece in her ear feeding her lines — which brought nothing but rancor from the left — decrying the Trumpsters as sore losers. But, clearly here, in the little video below, you can hear someone whisper ‘dozen’ to Clinton, at a time when she was stumbling about — not really knowing which fucking planet she was on.

Listen.

This is corroborated on the CSPAN feed.

The exact moment ‘dozen’ is heard, both mouths were sealed shut.

Explain that?

So I was going to ignore this interview, since Kelly pissed me off earlier in the show. But she fucking nailed Brazile here, who could only respond by saying the shit we read was false because, umm, Russia and criminal activities led to the release of the Wikileaks. You’re a thief if you read them, fuckers. Seriously, she was abhorrent in this interview and wreaked of guilt.

DNC Interim Chair .@donnabrazile on suggestions she leaked town hall question to @HillaryClinton. #Debate  Part 1/2 pic.twitter.com/uqiWMjPSSD

— News This Second (@NewsThisSecond) October 20, 2016

DNC Interim Chair .@donnabrazile on suggestions she leaked town hall question to @HillaryClinton. #Debate  Part 2/2 pic.twitter.com/sBi9Tt1vIp

— News This Second (@NewsThisSecond) October 20, 2016

She was either on drugs or drunk, or maybe both!

After the debate, I expect Fox to at least cover the substance of the debates, mentioning the policy topics and very serious matters facing all of humanity. Instead, I was entreated to a femi-nazi scorned woman routine, starring M. Kelly. Without question, she prepared this interrogation well before the debate. Without a doubt, Fox is in the tank now for Clinton, save Sean Hannity.

This went on for what seemed like forever, until I had to turn it off upon hearing that Donna Brazile was going to come on the show to tell the American idiot that the things written in the emails, released by Wikileaks, was in fact invalid — since the Russian did it.

Speaking of which, Russia is steaming its largest naval fleet towards Syria since the cold war– in response to the threats the Obama administration have made against them.

We seem very willing and eager to normalize relations with Vietnam, Cuba and Iran, yet for some fucking reason we choose to pick a fight with the country that can blow us up 1,000 times over — literally. Where is the common sense in that?