Fly Sell: MON

I sold short 5,000 [[MON]] @ $114.

Disclaimer: If you sell short MON because of this post, you will fall victim to an egregious April Fools Day trick. And, you may lose money.

It’s the last day of the quarter. As a result, I will be very busy. Therefore, understand, “The Fly” has very little time for small people from the internets.

A few things, before I rant about the market:

iBC welcomes Adam, from Adam’s Options. Unfortunately, Adam is not leaving his blog to write for iBankcoin. However, he will provide his witty commentary on a regular basis. God willing, he will bless us with his Dykstra/Cramer “analysis”—which is always a a lot of fun.

Also, today is Dpeezy’s final day blogging here, as “King of the Peanut Gallery.” Naturally, he can always try to reclaim his throne, via beating out everyone in the PG during April.

As of now, it looks like Alphadawg will succeed Dpeezy.

As for the markets:

I covered a significant amount of my [[LEH]] short, near the lows of the day. In short, I believe the stock is due for a respite.

During pre-market trading, most of the “ag plays” were lower. However, unbeknownst to me, they are all shooting higher now, led by the murderous bastards at [[MON]] and [[POT]].

Hmm, I wonder if it has anything to do with end of quarter window dressing?

Basically, you need to ignore today’s tape. It’s bullshit. Money managers, due to window dressing, will execute all sorts of retarded, counter-intuitive trades. Stick to your guns and reload them whenever possible.

That means, if you’re heavily short: take profits asshole. For the quarter, the market will end lower, to the tune of about 9.5%. Annualized, the market is on pace to book a 30%+ loss for the year.

Is that possible?

Absolutely.

Is it likely?

No.

However, I think it’s fair to say, we will not enjoy the spectacular 2nd half recovery that everyone south of the N. Pole believes is possible. Should the economy continue to struggle, going into the latter months of the summer, expect stocks to take a definitive drop this fall. A traditional October blood bath, if you will.

Prepare for that accordingly.

Right now, my game plan is to calmly observe the low IQ money managers perform their fuckery (buying ag stocks), while aggressively shorting the fucking “ag plays” with the fury and courage of an over-sized mountain lion— inside a California penitentiary for “white collar criminals.”

I covered some of my [[LEH]] short, buying 10,000 shares @ $36.03.

It’s official, the ungodly forces within iBC have “de-oranged” the site. And, as you might notice, the site looks somewhat normal/professional—compared to the cartoonish bullshit I had going on prior.

Much praise and thanks to iBankcoin’s webmaster: Jeremy.

UPDATE: One cool new feature, a la Jeremy, all non- Fly articles will be sequenced chronologically.

UPDATE: New iBC commerical

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6RifA40K8U 450 300]

I’m just bowling on you fuckers.

I bought 1,000 [[FXP]] @ $93.

Disclaimer: If you buy FXP because of this post, China will take their market private. And, you may lose money.

Oh no!

“I’m super bullish right now.”

Jordan Kimmel
CNBC, 3/28/2008

Enough said.

“Wamu” is the worst bank in America. Plus, their new slogan “Whoo-Hooo!” is fucking childish ridiculousness. Who the fuck wants to put their hard earned savings in a bank that thinks “Whoo-Hoo!” is a smart marketing slogan to attract big money?

On their website, they proudly exclaim: “Most banks are grey, that’s just not our style.”

No fuckers. Your style is to go bankrupt, because you are being run by a bunch of adolescent retards, who gambled the institution on homeless guys in need of a McMansion.

Whoo-Hoo!

Disclaimer: Heavily short [[WM]]