I bought 5,000 [[MMR]] @ $11.23.
Disclaimer: If you buy MMR because of this post, the next time you are on a road trip, you will receive 4 flat tires in one sitting. And, you may lose money.
Comments »Anyone Scared?
I know it’s “uncool” to be scared of the stock market falling. Most of you fucking faggots are trading while drinking apple martinis, so complacent it makes me sick.
Take a look at this:
That is a 6 month chart of the Yen. Now, you are aware of the relationship between stocks and the Yen, no? Well then, explain why the unraveling of the carry trade no longer matters. Furthermore, I want you to elaborate on where funding is coming from, if not Yen.
One way or another, this is all coming to a head in September. By then, we will receive news of 3rd quarter sales and republicans will do their best to put the fear of God into you bible toting jackasses, so that you may kick out the verminous demoncrats. Moreover, by late September, news agencies will start discussing the dire condition of U.S. states and how they are relying on a Federal bailout. More than 20 states are spending Federal dollars they have yet to receive, with regards to 2011 budgets. Keep in mind, the GOP is running on a “zero bailout” policy.
At any rate, the market is digesting yesterday’s gains with a certain coolness that can only be attained by smoking a pack of menthol cigarettes inside of a closed automobile. As for me, I’m in the do nothing camp. Actually, I am quite busy studying the fundamentals of every single stock publicly traded, literally, via The PPT.
Mea Culpa
Much to the chagrin of my mafia landscaper and illegal Mexicans, I ruined my entire front lawn, via excessive fertilizer and other egregious chemicals. It is now the laughing stock of the entire neighborhood, which leads “The Fly” to plot against his neighbors’ green grass, in the most depraved ways possible (mustard, sarin gas). Just today someone proposed that “perhaps aliens came to your house, look at those crop circles. (ha,ha,ha,ha)”
This vexes me a great deal.
Against the will of my landscaper, I’ve ordered the re-sodding of the entire lawn, and I quote: “get this hay the fuck out of here.”
I feel better now that I got this off of my chest.
Goodnight.
Comments »The Bull Market Never Ended
The “recession” of 2008 was nothing more than a temporary pause, in what can only be described as “the best bull market ever invented.” People, the banks are kicking ass again and the Chinese will grow at 12% forever. There is nothing to worry about, since all losses are guaranteed and all bills will be paid for by the Federal government.
Of course, being “fully invested” at all times is a splendid idea. As we melt up into the bell, I, regrettably, inform you of my egregious shortfalls in positioning for this rally in advance. I failed to foresee the egregious events unraveling right before my eyes and I mean that sincerely. Remember, stock market rallies or declines are not “stupid.” That title is reserved, solely, for people.
At any rate, I was bailed out today, due to big positions in a few longs. I’ve been fluctuating between 1-2% gains all day, but down aggressively in personal accounts. That’s the way the cookie crumbles people. Don’t cry and bitch about it. Pick your shit up and do better next time.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0HIxJtLI_Q 616 500]Folks UPDATE: “It’s AGAINST THE LAW, folks”
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npcPsttR2pU&playnext=1&videos=0QswPRDJhqA&feature=sub 616 500]God Bless all things to do with DENNINGER.
Comments »I’ve Been Bailed Out
I did not plan to be part of this rally; it just happened. As the stock Gods would have it, “The Fly” is being blessed with outsized gains in numerous positions.
Despite having nearly 40% in cash and 24% of assets in VXX, I am up 2%+ for the day, thanks in large part to “big dicked” gains in FTK, GLW, SD, iBN, SHLD and TEVA. In addition, I started a position in MMR, in for the fucking squeeze, Jack.
What’s important to note here, as always: “The Fly” wins all the time, even when it appears he is losing in the most heinous fashion ever. Do not bet against folks who put crop circles inside of your bullshit farms.
Into the final hour of trading, I expect to be blessed with even more exuberant intra-day gains in FTK.
Comments »A Gluttonous Rally
If you are buying into today’s rally, you might as well do so while wearing a mask of a pig. Today’s pig-faced rally is nothing more than a small lesson to be learned, regarding gluttony, greed and how it pertains to short term investing. I’d be lying to you if I pretended to care about today’s rally. As a matter of fact, upon seeing the futures spike this morning, I made my way to the gym, in favor over lamenting in front of a fucking screen, bitching and whining about pigs and stocks.
Fast forward several hours and here I am doing bitching and moaning about pigs buying stocks. It’s nothing more than sour grapes, so pardon my candor. Also, it’s worth noting, my position is not bad. My only downside hedge, VXX, is down 4%. That sucks; but I have a portfolio of stocks screaming higher. As for TZA: it could be a lot worse.
Opportunity cost. That’s what is at stake here. The opportunity to partake in a little short squeezing is a coveted one. I regret not being heavily long today, so that I might press my boot on the necks of those who bet against me. Nevertheless, I still believe, emphatically, this market is nothing more than a time bomb, ticking away in the most whimsical fashion possible. It’s almost as if this exchange, between buyers and sellers, was designed by Dr. Suess.
For the remainder of the day, I will lament and feign injuries (ouch, my finger is hurt, I can’t trade); but I will not change my allocations.
Comments »Do Not Assume Anything
Many of you are sitting by the fireside now, contemplating all of that delicious coin you are about to make tomorrow. You glance over at the futures and get a stiffy, for you are about to enter the stock market Hall of Fame, as “best investor in the history of the world.”
Warren Buffet can suck your cock, for he is old and stupid. Fuck his billions. You got thousands.
Anyway, you’re sleeping with a calculator next to your bed and figuring out how much money you are about to make. You figure, if you can make x amount of dollars by next week, you too can shop at Whole Foods like Le Fly. Up until now, you’ve been living out of canned and cardboard boxed food, like some sort of homeless fucker living under a bridge.
Do not count your chickens, for they have yet to hatch. As for me, I have contingency plans in place, in order to counter-strike all fucktarded events that may aim for my large balls. In other words, I shall fucking win, you miserable cocksucker.
Bet against me for too long and find yourself eating spam under a bridge.
Comments »We Got Ourselves a Winner Here
Props to Ix for making this video of unparalleled excellence. It’s amazing what some of you fuckers will do for a t-shirt made in China.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKq1rbpS9Cs&fmt=22 616 500]UPDATE: RC posted a mash up of all submitted vids. Great work people.
Comments »That’s No Way to Run a Website
Everyone likes to pick on Jim Cramer, mainly because he is out there. As much as I disagree with Jim, he started this financial blogging game and should be respected for that, if anything at all. Look, there is a reason why TSCM is trading @ $3, despite their big web presence and big subscription base: they’re old and tired.
Seriously, in the era of web 2.0, with all of Thestreet.com’s money, how the fuck does their premium blog site look like this? Look at how it is aligned to the left? Are they fucking serious about this design, or is it a joke?
There is no excuse for that. I can’t blame Cramer, since he does enough for the brand. Whoever is in charge of web development needs a stern talking to, and more. On Jupiter’s stone, TSCM should be fucking killing it right now; but they’re not. I do not pretend to know what the solution is to their problem. However, I can tell you right now, 90% of their writers suck dick. Even more, they (TSCM) pay their writers too damn much.
My advice: Fire everyone. Start fresh and tell Doug Kass to read Le Fly, so that he could get his market timing issue fixed.
Comments »Godly Advice
Go to your local street corner and do 100 chin ups on your traffic light pole. Or, if that doesn’t float your Cadillac, do some vertical push ups off a fire hydrant or upside down squats off monkey bars. An important man of business, such as yourself, must stay in shape and release stress. Nothing says “stress relief” like a little urban workout regiment. Plus anyway, what are you gonna do, stare at the box all day, waiting for the market to do something nice? This shit is pure evil, spawned by dastardly Goldman tradebots. I have no interest in playing this game. I am 40% cash, 23% VXX and the rest long. Do the math.
I don’t give a shit.
Most of you are making large directional bets, which inadvertently lead to acute medical conditions, due to stress. Do yourself a favor and do some one arm push ups off a park railing. This market will not make you happy, just like most marriages.
As for you piker brokers out there: quit spinning your wheels. Get on the phone and make a friend.
As for me, I will partake in a little “r and r”, poolside, in order to get ready for the weekend. As you could readily understand, my life is very stressful. I mustn’t work too hard, else I might get sore fingers or my eyes might burn a little from looking at the screen. But I am sure you, big man on campus, have it all figured out. You’re over there buying puts or calls right now, hoping to hit stock market lotto, AND MORE. If you haven’t figured it out by now, the market is in “meat grinder” mode, where everyone loses. Sure, you can get lucky and fuck a pig in style. But at the end of the day, you’re still fucking a pig.
Words of wisdom.
This guy knows what’s up.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF1F4E_mfs4&feature=related 616 500]
