All of the Finest Gents Are Long the Shippers

Sure, don’t listen to the guy at York Capital, managing $20 billion or the guy who blogs from the comfort of a time machine. Instead, heed the warnings of some guy named Jennifer.

Long BALT and won’t sell until $10.

I started a new position in Chinese burrito company LITB in the hopes of receiving great fortune for pagan Xmas.

Yields are going up, especially the 10 year, as it approaches 3%. Wall Street fears 3%, as it is the lynchpin or tipping point between the Gilded Era we live in now and complete and total despair, tragedy, and financial terrorism.

Futures are down 8. Wall Street forgot every single thing Bernanke said yesterday.

On December 11th 2013, The PPT disseminated an oversold reading to her members. Those who were learned men, gentlemen of community in good standing, adhered to the basic principles of the algorithm and injected their portfolios with cocaine. According to the new trading programme that I unveiled here the other day, something of a late channukah, early pagan Xmas gift to all of you, the trade is to be long, very long, shares of TNA, not to be confused with “tits and ass”–not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I am going to inebriate myself this weekend, in celebration of life, as well as Mrs. Fly’s birthday. Being that she still espouses the viewpoints of the prohibitionists, in all of its puritanical tyranny, I hope she appreciates my candor when I say: “I am going to get inebriated this weekend, dear.”

Santa Ben and his elves at the Federal Reserve doused the fields of battle with flammables today. It is now our duty to light the match and watch the shorts scurry about in search of water, as they melt, every so slowly, into the New Year.

Cheers!

You suckers never learn.

-Uncle Ben

The Lord knows that I try to get through to many of you, thick skulled primates dressed in working attire. For the life of me I don’t know how many of you function. I imagine that your housing tenements are roach infested havens for rats and other vermin. The internet is a place where you go to write graffiti, throw a few farts, then leave. Well, let me remind you, I am publishing literature here that will be viewed for centuries. I will outlive you all. Through the immortality of the pen, I will vanquish my enemies with great spite and spin them atop giant needles rooted in the ground.

You’re all very obsessed with the price of things, are you not? You affix artificial time horizons to ideas that do not make sense in the first place. One of you heathens mocked my YELP sale yesterday. I bet you’re not mocking me today.

Investing, like all important things in life, is an art form. There are few certainties, aside from the renowned PPT oversold signal, and most of you are throwing whiffled balls into the wind.

You’re all waiting for the Federal Reserve chief, very much interested in what he has to say. You will respond to his words immediately, then forget all about it tomorrow, as if he said nothing at all. Your brains can fit inside of my rubics cube.

Try to mock me for being a supporter of shipping vessels, an industry rich with history and tradition. Feel free to make uninformed guesses and post them into the comments section of this site. I very much appreciate the richness of your idiotic banter.

I was going to post some crazy comments that I’ve been reading in a Reddit forum for Bitcoins. But then I got lazy and figured it wasn’t worth my time to do so. College kids are putting tuition money into Bitcoin, using credit cards, blowing up fast, then staying up all night, lamenting the very idea that Bitcoin was founded on.

You must understand something: Bitcoin is an illusion. It is fiat currency without the US military to back it. It is all sentiment, zero substance, and will be worthless once people lose faith in the idea that it can serve as a viable pyramid scheme.

Let’s be clear: the only reason why people are buying/mining for Bitcoins is for profit, not to store value. That is the discernable difference between guys who have gold bars buried in their backyards and idiots who have six figures of Bitcoins on their hard drives.

The latest set back has been delivered in the form of a Chinese ban on the illusionary currency.

The price has been halved over the past day or two.

Providing the Fed doesn’t throw the market into a blackhole today and the market remains relatively calm, there is a better than average chance that stocks with thin floats, good technicals, and a large percentage of shares sold short can squeeze higher, in an effort to inflict “max pain” upon the skulls of short sellers.

I am looking for stocks that have a good technical rating, up for the day, and has more than 25% of its float sold short and has less than 20 million shares in its float. Once the squeeze gets going, it will be almost impossible to stop it.

Just 5 names were produced (this can change on a minute by minute basis, depending on current share price). Here is The PPT screen that produces the results.

MEG

PBF

RBCN (one of my top holdings)

YRCW

SODA

Do you really believe Dr. Benjamin Bernanke is going to slow down on his asset buying frenzy one week before pagan X-mas? Do you believe the Federal Reserve will reduce government tax receipts by causing the market to trade lower, two weeks before the year ends? Wouldn’t it be preferable, from a practical stand-point, to vampire as many capital gains as humanly possible, then taper in early 2014?

This whole taper business is absurd, something that is best negotiated in a roomful of morons, persons unable to eat food with utensils.

The economy is better. We don’t need the Fed to buy assets. We have Blackstone and Goldman Sachs to do that.

At any rate, TAPERMANIA continues.

I just bumped into this film on Youtube. I first saw it back in the 90’s (I believe during its CNBC debut), living in my basement apartment, disheveled, but hungry for the Wall Street dream. This movie certainly helped motivate me, as it romanticized the savagery that is high finance.

After I saw this movie, I read “The Money Machine” to get a better idea what KKR was all about. I highly recommend grabbing a copy of that book. It’s a page burner.

Enjoy the film.