Cramer’s Solution to Stoke a New Bull Market: Merge All Companies

Jim Cramer rants and raves about government interference in oligarch designs for world dominance and monopoly. Aside from that, he then proposes the solution to all of our problems would be to merge all companies, left and right, stupid. He posits that share buybacks aren’t enough and that share supply needs to be removed from this fucking market, permanently, via the execution of mergers and acquisitions on an industrial scale.

Sadly, this doesn’t seem to be happening, as CIO’s horde cash like morons, investing in the ark and things of that nature.

Wishcasting at its best.

A. Left is short both SCTY and TSLA and fucking hates both companies with every fiber of his existence. Like Chanos, Mr. Left believes SCTY is a giant fucking donut, masquerading as a $21 security. He rifles through a litany of reasons to be short the stock, stemming from the possibility that the deal might fall through.

Worst case scenario, SCTY shorts transfer over to become TSLA shorts upon consummation of the deal. Best case scenario, Elon Musk is sent packing on one of his Space X rockets to live out his days on Uranus, as SCTY barrels, headlong, towards $00.00.

Good stuff.

Long term critic and short seller of both TSLA and SCTY, Jim Chanos, called the TSLA-SCTY a ‘brazen bailout’, citing the 20% yielding SCTY bonds as evidence that the company was barreling towards financial distress.

Moreover, he said the price action in both SCTY and TSLA’s shares today indicated that TSLA shareholders believe the par value for SCTY was, essentially and inexorably, zero.

Shortseller Jim Chanos of Kynikos Associates blasted Tesla Motors Inc’s proposed acquisition of SolarCity Corp, describing it as a “brazen” bailout and “shameful example of corporate governance at its worst.”

“SolarCity, whose bonds were yielding 20 percent yesterday, is a company headed toward financial distress,” Chanos said in an emailed statement on Wednesday. “It is burning hundreds of millions in cash every quarter, a burden that now Tesla shareholders will have to bear, at a total cost of over $8 billion.”

Chanos, whose firm has been betting against Tesla and SolarCity shares, said the combined drop in the market value of the two companies was more than the equity value of the deal itself, “which means that Tesla shareholders think SolarCity shares are essentially worthless.

“Finally,” he added, “it is hard for me to believe that this deal was not being contemplated when Tesla, and Mr. Musk himself, sold shares just a few weeks ago.”

The benevolent people from Mexico are killing protesters again. Such a civil society of people should be permitted to arrive inside our Eden, unfettered, without restriction.

In the southern Mexican state of Oaxaca, a deadly police crackdown against teachers has left nine people dead and more than 100 wounded. On Sunday, police descended on teachers in the community of Nochixtlán, where they had set up blockades to protest against neoliberal education reform and the arrests of two teachers’ union leaders last week on what protesters say are trumped-up charges. “As soon as they arrived, they began to attack. And we were few, very few,” said a Oaxacan teacher. “Then we started running. But they began to attack right away, instantly. At no time did they give warning to clear the area.” We go to Oaxaca to speak with Gustavo Esteva, founder of the Universidad de la Tierra in Oaxaca and author of many books, including “New Forms of Revolution.”

Here’s one of many videos circulating on Youtube, demonstrating the civility of the fucking Mexican government.

This is what happens when you staff government with brainless fucking morons, who are unable to use common sense and instead follows ‘the law’ because the state says so. A man broke a windshield, rescuing a family. When the ambulance arrived, he asked one of the assholes for a bottle of water to clean his hands. Because of that, the state of California sent him a bill for $143, for a fucking bottle of water.

Shares of BBBY are lower by more than 4% in the after-hours, extending its precipitous drop of more than 40% over the past year after announcing the horrendous business model they’ve surrounded themselves with, predicated on Green Mountain K-Cup and iRobot thousand dollar robotic mop sales, is retarded. To be honest, I’ve always hated this store. Each time I’ve entered it, my allergies kicked in and I found myself sneezing on merchandise for the next 20 minutes.

Having said that, this company is a cash cow. Valuations haven’t been this low for at least a decade, currently trading at 8.5x earnings and 0.55x sales, more than 66% lower than the gogo days of 2012.

Nevertheless, the trend is lower.

Bed Bath & Beyond misses by $0.06, misses on revs; guides FY17 EPS in-line; same store comps -0.5% (43.18 -0.15)

Reports Q1 (May) earnings of $0.80 per share, $0.06 worse than the Capital IQ Consensus of $0.86; revenues were unchanged from the year-ago period at $2.74 bln, below consensus of $2.78 bln.

Co issues in-line guidance for FY17, sees EPS comfortably in the range it has earned over last several years during a heavy investment phase of $4.50-5.00 vs. $4.98 Capital IQ Consensus Estimate.

Same store sale decline -0.5%. Comparable sales from customer-facing digital channels grew in excess of 20% while comp sales from stores declined in the low single-digit percentage range.

Try to figure this one out. BKS is higher by 6% in the after-hours after reporting worse than expected results for both the bottom and top line. Comps for their stores fell by 1%, while Nook sales plunged in the magnitude of 20%.

Perhaps investors are stoked around the idea of the launch of 10 concept stores set to launch. Or, maybe they just like to buy dips in stocks who just reported abysmal earnings.

Reports Q4 (Apr) loss of $0.42 per share, $0.18 worse than the Capital IQ Consensus of ($0.24); revenues fell 3.7% year/year to $876.7 mln vs the $879.23 mln Capital IQ Consensus.

Comparable store sales declined 0.8% for the quarter and were flat for the full year, in-line with Company guidance. “Core” comparable store sales, which exclude sales of NOOK products, declined 0.8% for the quarter, while increasing 0.4% for the full year, slightly below expectations of an ~1% increase. Sales for both the quarter and the year were also impacted by store closures and lower online sales.

NOOK sales, which include digital content, devices and accessories, were $42.0 million for the quarter and $191.5 million for the full year, decreasing 20.0% and 27.4%, respectively, due primarily to lower device and content sales.

“We believe our marketing, merchandising and Membership initiatives will lead to increased traffic and conversion in our stores. We are also excited about our plans to open four new concept stores opening later this year, beginning with the first store opening this October in Eastchester, NY. We look forward to discussing these initiatives at our Investor Day.”

For fiscal year 2017, the co expects comparable bookstore sales to be ~flat to an increase of ~1%. The Company also expects full year consolidated EBITDA to be in a range of $200-250 mln, with Retail EBITDA of $240-280 million and NOOK EBITDA losses declining to a range of $30-40 million, including previously announced transitional costs.

It was a fairly low volume, beguiling tape, as traders sit on their thumbs ahead of tomorrow’s BREXIT vote. Absentee, summering, hedge fund managers are probably instructing their junior traders to go to cash and avoid risk, else feel the end of their lash.

Personally, I have no idea where the vote will land. All I know is that it’s a red herring, a distraction from the true underlying issues plaguing markets.

Nevertheless, markets will be on edge tomorrow, on this momentous occasion–which is probably the most important referendum post WW2.

Top picks: The Ark, Gold.

It looks like D. Trump isn’t the only one interested in protectionist policies. I find what’s taking place in the steel industry supremely important to the facade of free trade, that, seemingly, goes just one way. For years, U.S. steel workers have been crucified by asshole Chinese dumping tactics, which drove scores of producers out of business. Apparently, the Chinese went too far and the United States is responding, in kind.

The FT is reporting the U.S. is set to impose a gangster 500% tariff on Chinese steel.

Via FT:

Wednesday’s ruling by the International Trade Commission, an independent government agency, follows a recommendation by the US Commerce Department in May for heavy duties to be imposed on imports of cold-rolled steel products from China and Japan.

The anti-dumping case brought by the US industry last year is one of three that Washington is considering this summer and comes amid a growing row between the US and China over steel, reports Shawn Donnan in Washington.

It also comes as the EU is considering whether to bow to Beijing’s demands and grant it “market economy” status in the World Trade Organisation.

The issue is a hugely popular one in rust belt states, particularly in an election year.

Senator Rob Portman, who is fighting a tough battle for re-election in Ohio, claimed on Wednesday that his testimony to the ITC had helped secure the ruling.

“Ohio steelworkers produce the highest quality steel in the world, and yet they are facing a crisis,” said Portman. “Nearly 1,500 Ohio steelworkers were laid off last year through no fault of their own. Today the ITC recognized exactly what I told them: that unfair, dishonest practices from competitors in China and Japan are hurting our communities. Today’s ruling is the next step in leveling the playing field, and it is a big win for Ohio steelworkers.”

This is net benefit for X, NUE, AKS, NUE and STLD.

NOTE: X is one of my 15 GARP portfolio stocks for the second half of 2016, based around this very thesis.

I like this crash bet. Only the good Lord and baby Jesus know where stocks will end up on Friday, following a possible BREXIT. The very idea of England messing up the globalist apple card is enough to drive G. Soros insane, let alone tank the British pound again. There could be extreme pressures asserted onto markets, which may, in fact, force the British government to ignore the will of the people, for the good of the people.

Traders are throwing powerball bets at the SPY, betting on imminent catastrophe, something venerably delightful to yours truly. Odds are these contracts will expire worthless, just like the euro, eventually. But for now, like a lotto ticket, the allure of turning a 100,000% profit on a weekly SPY put contract, betting on a 20% market drop, is what dreams are made from.

Consider one S&P 500 contract that would move in the money should the index plunge 20 percent to 1,675 by Friday. Open interest in the put has doubled and is now the second highest of any bearish weekly contract tracked by Bloomberg. “It’s a black swan type of put,” said Steve Sosnick of Timber Hill LLC. “It’s very possible there will be an extreme result, and people like to have insurance against a low-probability, high-outcome event.”

Here is this week’s option montage and the next. Keep note of the lunatic(s) who’ve positioned into $135 puts.