18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,142 Blog Posts

Caught in a Maelstrom

Markets are careening lower — with the NASDAQ down 190 — and I have light jazz music playing in the background — Autumn Breeze to be specific. I knew it was going to happen. The forecast was for a category 5 hurricane — but I wanted to play just one more round of golf. The way I was thinking way back yesterday was “it’d be nice to squeeze in a quick 18 holes before the storm comes.” Unfortunately, the storm came sooner than I had expected and now I am reeling back to my car.

I lost my hat, down 74bps early going only saved by a volatility hedge placed yesterday before the close. In case you’re worried about me — do not. I have many hats and possess a unique ability to survive storms.

One time as a boy all of NYC was hiding inside of their homes upon the landing of Hurricane Gloria. I peered out of my window and saw the trees sway side to side — sheets of rains blanketing the landscape. I did what any person my age would do in a situation like that — I called on my friend and we played baseball in the parking lot and I hit a grand slam — the winds carried the ball off my bat perhaps 1,000 feet never to be seen again. It is possible that ball, hit in 1985, might still be traveling today.

I want you to recognize what is occurring today and act accordingly. The US 10yr is 4.76%, up another 7bps. We have a crisis underway, emanating from the highest echelons of power down to the looters rampaging throughout the nation completely unchecked, protected even. We are in the early stages of SOCIETAL COLLAPSE and to price that in we’re going to need thousands upon thousands of Dow points to be shaved off the index. In an honest and just world, markets will return to the 2009 lows when it satanically bottomed at 666 on the S&P 500.

As of right now, I have 10% in $SQQQ, 56% cash, the rest in some low beta large cap stocks, broadly diversified — resisting the urge to go all in short because it’s early and retards love to buy dips, reminiscing on brighter days when Pax Americana was at its apex. But it’s over and I sorry you’re too stupid to figure it out.

Audio version

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

One comment

  1. metalleg

    I remember Gloria well. Lost my 300ZX in that goddamn storm.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"