iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,783 Blog Posts

Market Menaced Lower As More Sellers Than Buyers Impose Martial Law on Wall Street

Get back into your fucking unicorn houses you fucking faggots. The bears are now ruling over Wall Street with very heavy hands — beating anyone looking at the market sideways. You should know, readers of this site have been warned about shit rolling over. Just last night I told you all of the cool kid IPOs were being splayed out and gutted and today — everything is getting gutted — sans gold.

You’d be wise to apply hedges. I was very wise to do so several days ago. The grandiose members of Exodus are well aware of my actions, unlike you freeloading plebs. I will also have you know, Le Fly is concerned about the recent news flow.

Best Buy’s chief merchandising officer says: “American manufacturers may lose share almost immediately to foreign competitors whose products are not made in China and, therefore, not subject to price increases in the form of tariffs.”

HP’s general manager says: “For the printing supplies industry, these tariffs do more damage to the consumers and intellectual property holders like HP than it will do to the IP infringing products.”

Hallmark Cards’ manage says: “Given the industry practice of printing the price on the cards, a tariff will present a pricing fiasco. We simply can’t raise prices.”

Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell stresses the central bank’s “independence” in a speech.

His warning about policy caving to “short-term political interests” comes amid intense pressure from President Trump to cut interest rates.

He also stresses the importance of policies that will “sustain the expansion.”

The fuck does it all mean? Why are rates under 2%? Is it really happening this time?

Nothing is different. Things will always play out the way they always have and minor disruptions in the everlong march of mankind towards prosperity will continue. I am merely warning you to a slight parlay in said march, a brief interlude of pain and perhaps some misery that you’d be wise to ignore. The summer doldrums are here and there is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

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8 comments

  1. shamalamadingdong
    shamalamadingdong

    Le fly is squarely in the fagbox now.

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  2. WrongView

    par·lay
    [?pär?l?, ?pär?l?]

    VERB
    (parlay something into)
    parlays (third person present) · parlayed (past tense) · parlayed (past participle) · parlaying (present participle)
    turn an initial stake or winnings from a previous bet into (a greater amount) by gambling.
    “it involved parlaying a small bankroll into big winnings”
    informal
    transform into (something greater or more valuable).
    “a banker who parlayed a sizable inheritance into a financial empire” · “an excellent performance is quickly parlayed into lucrative contracts”
    NOUN
    parlays (plural noun)
    a cumulative series of bets in which winnings accruing from each transaction are used as a stake for a further bet.

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  3. numbersgame

    Best Buy’s CMO doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

    Pick a correction:
    1) “(Chinese) manufacturers may lose share (in America) almost immediately (from American and non-Chinese) competitors whose products are not made in China and, therefore, not subject to price increases in the form of (American) tariffs.”

    2) “American manufacturers may lose share (in China) almost immediately to foreign competitors whose products are not made in (America) and, therefore, not subject to price increases in the form of (Chinese) tariffs.”

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    • ferd

      he meant to say: “American retailers that import a lot of stuff from China may lose share almost immediately to retailers who do not.”

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  4. roguewave

    In between tsunami’s, I’ve been relaxing, feet up on my waterfront umbrella’d lounge chair – in a less correlated market. i.e. crypto’s, especially the flagship bitcoin.

    Bitcoins gains are primarily enjoyed for just 10 days each year. If you’re not in on those days; you’re losing. Which 10 days? Who knows. Keep it simple. Stay speculated all year and you’ll be there for the best 10 days.

    Halvening, next year. $40, 60, $80k all well withing the realm of possibility next year.

    Looking into the Telegram ICO (of sorts). Members from the land of the free, with insufficient knowledge are forbidden to invest directly. However, knowledgeable individuals know how to easily speculate, 100% within the bounds of the over-reaching laws. Whether that be in Telegram, N Korea, Cuba, whereever. As Jack Miller used to say, “it’s just a paper shuffle.” thousands of pages of Contract law, Real Estate law, Tax law, Securities law, etc. are quite simply, not in sync with each other. I guess we could call that “legal arbitrage” (copyright2019) – just made that up.

    Will look to see if a trade makes sense.
    https://bitcoinist.com/telegram-crypto-exchange-liquid-ico-gram/
    How ‘mericans can invest is not in that article.

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  5. The_Swede

    Will the $hitcoin section of this blog now be resurrected now that $BTC is rising like my cock being hauled up by a crane?

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  6. roguewave

    It seems logical that the top performing asset class for the the last 10 years should at least be mentioned on occasion.

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  7. flea

    ““Given the industry practice of printing the price on the [Hallmark] cards, a tariff will present a pricing fiasco. We simply can’t raise prices.”

    Damn. That means your margin will take a big hit going from 97% to 96%. F Trump!

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