iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
16,985 Blog Posts

DEATH TO EQUITIES

Ladies and Gents,

I’ve been busy all morning, plotting for end of days. As you know, I’ve prepared for this decline in advance and now speak to you from atop the highest of mountains, urinating on everyone below.

The Dow is off by 170 and my UVXY is higher by 9%, placing me in the indelible position of winship. Both my BAC and NVDA short are performing with grace and my DRIP position is idling itself — but of course waiting for an opportunity to pounce.

On the long side, I preside over FIZZ, UCTT, ESPR and HMNY — all of which are doing fine.

I speak to you from a position of authority. None of you have any idea what is going on, because you’ve grown to be fat and sloppy. You’ve grown man-tits and have become slothful thanks to the gross perversions of the bull market. Some of you are so lazy, you transport yourselves inside wheeled chairs and brag about these things on Twitter, in spite of having two perfectly fine working legs. While you were ensconced in the decadence and the excess, I was in the lab getting grizzled, hardened by data, growing my intellectual curiosity and building strategies for this comeuppance. I was born to raze market and meant to trade at this very moment in time.

Watch me as I preside over you and kick your heads in like soccer balls, accomplishing winship,

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5 comments

  1. stuckcity

    fly, you’re too good bruh.

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  2. stocksnblondes

    Sorry, but theres nothing to indicate this is nothing more than a run-of-the-mill periodic sell-off that we’ve had repeatedly throughout this bull market. I wouldn’t run out and add positions here, but I certainly wouldn’t short aggressively either other than for a very short-term trade.

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    • stocksnblondes

      ^anything more than a run-of-the-mill sell-off…

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      • numbersgame

        I’d have to agree with your hindsight (much easier to call after a 1+% mid-day rally…).

        I think the issue is the realization that the tax bill is not dead completely, as the inital headlines lead many to believe. That fits more with my expectations of a long, drawn out process, similar to the failed Obamacare repeal.

        The Senate has realized that corporations need 2 things to expand: cash and customers. When corporations have record profits and high cash levels, it’s not lack of investment cash, but a lack of middle-class customers that is the problem. The Rs in the Senate know that they will lose their majority, so they purposefully want to wait until the Dems win back the Senate so that can unfix the made-up high-corporate-tax problem before it goes into effect in 2019.

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