iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
16,214 Blog Posts

ATTENTION: iBankCoin is Offering Very Diverse Free Exodus Trials, Based on Race, Gender, Religion and Politics

I woke up in a gregarious mood and felt like donating to the people — the small plebs toiling about the hot fields and coal mines in search of a better life. Truth be told, I’ve figured it out for you. All you need to do is sign up to the free trial and then embrace yourselves in the rapture and splendour that is Exodus.

To make all parties comfy, I’ve created different versions of the software for our diverse iBC readership — based on political, gender, religion, racial and occupational differences. I wouldn’t want to deny any of you the right to discriminate.

Enjoy. Trials end Wednesday.

White Male trials

White Female trials

Non-Whites (gender neutral)

Asian (ex-Japan)

Japanese

Southeast Asian

Europeans (ex England)

British aristocracy

British normies

The Irish

RUSSIAN (ex hackers)

Russian hackers

Democrat

Republican

Islamic

Christian

Jewish

Hindu

Atheist

Transgender

Furries

Bernie Sanders supporters

Covert CIA ops

NSA employees

Media Matters Watchdogs

SEC/FINRA personnel

North Koreans

Canadians (not welcomed. If you know someone who can sneak you in, please do so, otherwise, seek algorithmic excellence elsewhere)

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26 comments

  1. probucks

    ROFL.

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  2. joyous__ending

    Tremendous artwork, I plan to marry my cat this weekend and you will make our honeymoon to Cape Cod a special one.

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  3. tradercaddy

    Don’t forget the LGTBQ crowd (you have the T and maybe the Q but not the others) and the Zionists ( for the commentator with the biker look).

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  4. Dr. Fly

    I put transgender. Was I not being inclusive enough? If not, I deeply apologize.

    It took Jeremy almost 10 weeks developing all of these different versions of Exodus to include all types of people and non-people species.

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    • tradercaddy

      No need to apologize but Jeremy has some answering to do as he has sent a trigger out to about 5 per cent or so of your readers who are now looking for a safe place for hot chocolate and coloring books.

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  5. moosh

    Hilariously badass

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  6. moosh

    What are Furries? I don’t think I want to know, but just curious.

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  7. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    If you remove the “White Males” and “Russian” trials there are bound to be egregious tax write-offs that you can claim.

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    • gappingandyapping
      gappingandyapping

      My mistake, you must also remove “Christian” in order to be able to claim said write-offs.

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      • joshua

        Oh, Churches pay tax now?

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        • gappingandyapping
          gappingandyapping

          If they are a for-profit organization then they should. However I am pretty certain that most legit churches provide enough social programs or assistance to the poor that they could bring most of it to break even anyway And if they do then they should have no problem showing zero net if they are legit. Let’s be honest, the taxes that mega corporations such as big pharma or Apple’s tax rate would bring in way more federal income than churches. It would be a pennywise situation focusing on churches instead of going after corporate shelters.

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  8. s.k.

    When the world goes to hell in a handbasket and we’re fighting a two front war are you going to keep sucking his dick?

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    • dopefeller

      He will suck his dick even if it turns out to be a single-front war

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    • moonshot

      Sometimes I think a good war would wake a lot of people up. Let’s hear them whine about their intersectional feminist pain and mean un-PC words and cum bah yah globalist “let the illegals come in” chanting while they are bent over the hood of their Benz and raped by the Islamist invading force, while their boys are beheaded and their girls are sold as sex slaves.

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  9. heaterman

    The background is missing a photo of a purple haired land whale wearing a vagina costume while carrying a sign saying “Don’t touch my pussy”, or something to that effect…while eating a Big Mac.

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  10. cancel19

    Holy shit! ROFLMFAO!

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  11. doubleplus

    Eh.

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  12. bwana

    Mexicans with sweaters not welcome? Is it because we’re stealing your refugees?

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  13. ironbird

    Without Vampire Monster and Ghoul. Missing the key demographics. Someone give the so called artist of that cartoon a cookie. Libtard 101 they all look alike even if combined into one.

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  14. UncleBuccs

    kinda surprised the cucks didn’t get their own special offer

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  15. nico g

    this is so fucking funny

    happy Monday

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  16. drdart

    Man that’s funny….but can’t believe I need to seek algorithmic excellence elsewhere!

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  17. ironturd

    White privilege at its finest, new heights achieved. Dilute your financial brand with patronizing bullshit and focus all your mental energy on producing on divisive alt-right conspiracy theorist content to your hearts content, should do well in the long run

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