iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,431 Blog Posts

In Preparation for Tomorrow’s Presidential Debate

I’ve decided to live tweet the affair. But instead of driving traffic to Twitter, the land ruled by a dystopian overlord seeking to oppress wanton threats of violence and mayhem, I had my IT specialist — the world famous VINCENZO ILLUMINATI — embed my twitter stream on an iBC page.

Bookmark it now, for the sake of posterity and a source of laughter.

Aside from live tweeting this grande affair, one that is forecasted to attract more viewers than the final episode of Mash –which incidentally was complete drivel — I’ve upped the ante and proposed a drinking game, accompanied by a hashtag.

#HillaryCoughedTakeaShot

The rules are simple. Every time she coughs, take a shot of vodka. In the event she goes on a 4 minutes tirade, ask your loved one’s to make funeral arrangements and to put the estate in order, for I doubt you’ll be able to withstand a 4 minute guzzle off a vodka bottle.

For the great many of you, the thirty percent of the nation or so, who support Hillary, I entreat you to join this celebration of health and wellness. I am certain you’ll leave the debates with a sound mind and body.

Who will win the debate and will it matter? God knows what will happen. All I know is that there’s a distinct chance she might seize up and fall off the stage –gagging and coughing all the way to the ground — while the orange glow of Trump manifests itself and transfixes an otherwise hostile media into becoming amiably docile.

See you tomorrow, ladies and gents.

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8 comments

  1. bexpo

    You are one rascally rabbit….you often talk trash…you listen to elegant nostalgic music…you have taken the side of a charlatan politician who epitomizes the one percent…
    And you have taken an about turn on the stock market.
    I use to come here looking for market guidance?
    Now you are pumping Trump for real?

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  2. mistermoe

    The satire is lost on you. Heil Trump! (extra German)

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  3. postapocalyptictrader
    postapocalyptictrader

    If Trump is elected, a virtual apocalypse will ensue with Trump declaring war on all lesser countries at the same time, whilst attempting to pillage and plumder real assets such as underage women, slaves, and oil from each country. Eventual his so-called buddy Putin will tire of the antics of the USA attempting to build Romanesque empires throughout the non-Christian world, and the USA will suffer the same fate as Germany under the grand delusions of Hitler, and the USA will be divided into two separate countries – a poor, suffering communist Confederacy in the south, versus a rich, elitist, and powerful industrial democracy in the Northeast and west coast, which shall heretofore be known as The United Coasts of Leftocracy. In this way shall my namesake be exonerated and as I trade the highest technology in return for pigs, veggy-tables, cotton, and tobacco, and watch the squabbling gun owners shoot each other in free market competition for crumbs and morsels, while a dystopian hero resembling Mel Gibson reins over the southern land like a primitive overlord from reality TV

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  4. rochester

    Scoundrel, charlatan, and now admitted criminal, oh my..

    http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/donald-trump-i-hope-trump-foundation-hasn-t-broken-any-n654011

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  5. cancel19

    I got my nuts. I don’t need no Bexpo!

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