I posed this question in a recent Twitter poll. Feel free to vote.
Who will buy $TWTR?
— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) September 23, 2016
Rumors are running rampant, courtesy of David Faber, regarding an imminent deal to purchase the piece of shit social media company. While Twitter is widely revered by those in the media as a place to distribute news and oppress those who fail to adhere to a specific social code, most shareholders fucking hate the company and would love nothing more than to see it sold.
The shares are higher by 18% on the news, still well below its IPO price of $26 from three years ago.
If we had a government that sought to protect against a monopoly forming in media, there’s no way they’d permit Google to buy them. Why in the world would CRM want to buy Twitter? That makes no fucking sense at all. They’re in the CRM business, not media. Should they purchase TWTR, expect the share price of CRM to get clown raped.
This leaves us with just one entity left to buy Twitter: The House of Saud, led by the affable and delightfully hedonistic, Prince Alwaleed bin Talal — who already owns 5% of the company. If Saudi Arabia bought Twitter, they could gain access to a treasure trove of infidels for rapid extermination. Think of all the synergies an evil empire like that could implement if given the keys to buy Twitter. Since our government is beholden to the Kingdom, I am certain it would get regulatory approval straight away. My only question is, should Saudi Arabia buy Twitter, will they permit women and gays to tweet anymore?
Then there’s always this to consider.
Sounds like a solid short to me. I will loan out my shares.
Who are we kidding? CRM wouldn’t be able to outbid Google or Microsoft.
TechCrunch has also heard Microsoft and Verizon want in.
https://techcrunch.com/2016/09/23/salesforce-google-twitter/
I posed the question awhile back to Rajun about telecom being a buyer instead of the usual social media.
I wonder if Verizon or AT&T would be players.
Yeah, Twitter might not make money but it’s very important. I expect a bidding war.
which rumor is more played out that this point? Someone buying twitter, oil production freezing, or fed raising rates then not?
+1
+1
—Fly, any way to update the comment section so we can like messages or something to that effect… maybe like your f’n laser gun whatever from awhile back orbital something
The irony of Trump’s tweet is he, himself, has invaded the political system using daddy’s money.
Trump projects onto all others exactly what he is.
He is the liar that accuses others,
He is a huge benefactor of corporate welfare but hates when others receive it,
He is the tax dodger that wants to reign in other companies with tax havens.
He has the crookedest foundation in the country but calls others “crooked”
He has the thinnest skin of any World leader, yet he thinks name calling shows strength.
Trump is the 2016 embodiment of P.T. Barnum proving there is a sucker born every minute.
His whole career has been based on conning people.
From ‘self-funding’ to ‘making Mexico pay for a wall’, he’s flim-flaming a large swath of the American people. So sad to see how many are falling for it.
He doesn’t want to be President…just called President.
TWTR is a product with enormous intrinsic value imo, but no good monetization model. I think it will be Google. All that real-time news flow and chatter can feed their enormous data-mining analytics engines. I see a lot of possible synergy there.
Doesn’t seem like this is the time to sell if you’re TWTR. Started streaming NFL games which have gone w/o a hitch, and they’ve taken several steps to make the platform more appealing and dynamic.
OTOH, great time to buy and monetize the improvements.
I’d vote but you clocked me; I mean blocked me on Twitter As if you’d clock me, Gentleman that you are. Truly. My vote is Prince Al-Waleed. I’m not sure if I’m being facetious or not.
It doesn’t seem that hard to come up with a value proposition for Salesforce.com. Twitter has become a very common channel for companies to interact with their customers, and social listening tools are being implemented in large companies to help them monitor and manage the channel. Owning that channel would allow Salesforce to tightly integrate it with their CRM platform, and that would seem pretty easy to sell to said corporations.
Apple or Amazon could also be suitors. They are becoming chatbot / text / message enabled across their platforms, and the whole tech industry is moving to agents and AI interaction. Twitter could provide a huge publicly accessible cross-platform solution for that kind of interaction, without requiring a company to develop separate interfaces to Android, iOS, Windows, etc. Google likely wants it for the same reason, in addition to the data value and obvious AdSense tie ins.
Any of these companies can likely do a better job monetizing the platform than current management.
This is a critical juncture. With traditional media being exposed as insanely crooked these past few weeks, Twitter was a key means to gather real opinions and news. Whoever buys it will then have the potential to steer it their direction without any repercussions – Person A owns News Network 1 and so it leans this way but Person B owns News Network 2 and so it leans that way. All we need is China, Saudi Arabia, or some other body with money and an agenda to pick this thing up and POOF, there goes a critical player in the future of humanity… extra Merlin.
Granted there is a lot of BS on it but Twitter embarking on this censorship agenda was phase 1, we could seriously lose a critical tool here if the wrong people pick it up.
Putin’s friend.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2016/09/23/report-u-s-intel-probes-trump-adviser-s-kremlin-ties.html?via=desktop&source=copyurl
Terrorists’ BFF
Obama vetoes bill allowing to sue Saudi Arabia over 9/11
https://www.rt.com/usa/360450-obama-veto-saudi-sue/
Comcast?
Jeff Bezos
$BABA a distinct possibility. As is SoftBank. Long $TWTR.
Marissa Meyer will turn this ship around right quick. Well at least as soon as she gets her $500 mln golden parachute in place.
Fucking bitch.
I also vote for Saudis shrewdly buying it….terribly sad if that happens.
Regardless of who wins Twitter, I am so happy I read this article because Fly pulled out “clown raped” which I will surely re-use in my social circles, or to entertain my wife whilst watching deportes.