Believe it or not, this is the largest e-commerce acquisition, ever. I’ve never ventured off to Jet.com, mainly because nothing is better than Amazon or Ebay.
Jet.com was founded two years ago by CEO Marc Lore, who will remain at the company to teach the fucking morons at Walmart about the internets. I suppose Marc was working real hard these past two years, building Jet.com from scratch into an entity that enticed and allured the corporate HACKS at Walmart to acquire them for 6x sales.
Truth be told, I find it rather amazing that Jet.com did $500m in sales last year. How the fuck does an ecommerce company go from dick in hands to $500m in two years? Pray fucking tell me, the world wants to know.
Maybe they took some of their VC money and bought lotto tickets, and with the winnings bought a bunch of lamps and rugs and shit from their site?
I really want to know.
According to CrunchBase, the company raised $800m from a sundry of greedy fucking bastards, including Fidelity–who chipped in $500m, which was likely all designated into performing ‘revenue QE’ for the companies balance sheet– by purchasing a bunch of lamp shades and tea kettles.
THE COMPANY IS BASED OUT OF HOBOKEN, NJ for christ’s sake, land of the hobo and boozehound.
The CEO, Marc Lore, stands to rake in $750m from the transaction.
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What a stupid retarded name to begin with. Fools.
Those stupid assholes just robbed Walmart for $3b.
I was referring to Walmart as fools. Jet.com remains a retarded name and site that I just looked at and decided my opinion is unchanged.
Hoboken meets Bentonville. A can of fuckup just exploded on this deal.
Okay, I had to go look at Jet.com…for the first time ever.
Clearly WalledMart fell in Heart with it because it is as simplistic, lacking, uninspiring, underachieving and well, yeah, retarded as their own website.
Shall we build a streaming video service tomorrow with reruns of Urkel and sell it to them for a Billion next week?
F*ckabees
When go on to their About Us page, you cannot click to find anything about them, plus I bought some baby milk formula yesterday at the supermarket, so I checked their prices, mine was 30% cheaper!
Haven’t heard about Jet for awhile now. Made a pretty big splash when they first launched since they basically gave you free stuff.
I’ve gone to Walmart.com to see if they have what I need at the nearest store.
Walmart,com is slow and clumsy, they would be better off investing the 3 billion into their web site.
You are right no one has matched Amazon for Ebay for getting the customer linked up with the right goods in the shortest time online.
Amazon kicks tail because of speed and search accuracy, wake up WalMart
Did Jet hire a bunch of monkeys to place orders to generate phantom “quality assurance” revenue line the Just Mayo guys ? This deal is destined for failure…
Jet.com was a pretty interesting model and exit strategy. This one will make for HBR case study material. If i remember correctly, Jet.com was specifically started as an acquisition exit strategy….right from the get go. Basically, Marc Lore, had no intent of competing long term with Amazon. Rather, he inteded to position Jet.com as an acquisition target for one of the big box retailers from day one and marketed himself to Wall Street on said strategy. The way he ramped up sales #’s so quickly is that he essentially gave away heavily subsidized shit right off the bat. In particular he focused on subsidizing recurring purchases like laudry detergent etc. and other consumable home products. 1) give away free shit to hit sales # targets (nobody gives a fuck about actualy profitability anymore). 2) Sell business to big box retailer that is desperate to claim they are hitting their own “internet sales growth targets” 3) make out like a bandit. The truly remarkable thing, is that Marc Lore was totally transparent that he was gonna play Walmart or Target for a sucker from Day 1.
Wait a minute, isn’t Hoboken the birthplace of Sinatra? Outrage. Oh wait, you did say booze hound.