iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,432 Blog Posts

One Day Removed From Warning the World to be ‘Fearful’, C. B. Worth Unveils His Absurd Bargain Basket

It was just Friday when Carter Braxton Worth made an impromptu visit to the CNBC studios, harried from his summering festivities in Nantucket, to warn the world to be fearful of the market, to not use the minor decline as a reason to buy more stocks. Today, after a few bloody marys, Braxton unveiled his checkered pants basket of stocks, which he feels is a buy down here, now that the market went down for two days. He even went as far to embarrass himself by drawing imaginary trend lines on stocks which have clearly broken, the fuck, down.

This is typical Wall Street marketeering, trying to have cake and eat it too. Carter is either unaware of his actions, perhaps distracted by his flailing golf swing, or is simply insane.

You decide.

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17 comments

  1. btn

    I didn’t watch the video, but if that red mark on Dow Chemical’s chart is any indication, than this guy should use a paint brush for his trend lines.

    PS: Profanity is hard to punctuate. I would have written “broken the fuck down” myself.

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    • Dr. Fly

      Good thing you’re not the founder of one of the most widely trafficked finance sites in the country and I am.

      Fuck, off.

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      • btn

        Relax, I remembered how you had threatened to kick somebody off for correcting one of your posts and I was just pushing your buttons. In all honesty, I could give a rat’s @ss about anyone’s punctuation; or splleing in a blog, just as long as the info is understandable.

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  2. john_galt

    Fat pig deserves to be hot iron branded to his attire selection.

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  3. stockslueth

    Picnic basket? I’ll wait it out until these are in the bargain basement segment on CNBC sometime in the future.

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  4. frog

    This guy Worth’s job– Nice work if you can get it. No need to be consistent or make sense.

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    • oldmantrader

      Not sure anyone can compete with Dennis Gartman. Does he get paid for the useless dribble he spouts?

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  5. en1gma

    Fat Pat Sajack is wrong.

    He looks like he just pledged a Fraternity in the Khakis and blazer.

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  6. superpositron

    CB Worth is on the bath salts

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  7. og

    Elon Musk and co doesn’t give a F about Brexit.

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  8. bushwacker2

    Hill-Larry-Us. What a doofus.

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    • bushwacker2

      Drawing lines with a crayon and calling it market analysis is quite amusing. *chuckle*

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  9. skulduggery

    Winthorpe’s been rattled by Billy Ray Valentine, Capricorn.

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  10. moosh

    I’ve always thought of Carter braxton worth as a champion croquet player as opposed to golf. It’s a much less laboured go to sport, after dabbling in so many years of intense badminton.

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  11. chuck bennett

    At least Karen Fineaman likes Carters chub. Lol

    Any of you girls catch that one? I giggled

    Regards

    Chuck Bennett

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  12. JakeGint

    Orange and pink clash horribly. His name should be stricken from the posts of the Yale Club.

    That said, he’s clearly been given instructions.

    ____

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  13. iBergamot

    Here, in this video, is something very important to learn about advanced technical anAlysis – just draw an arbitrary up-sloping line on any chart and say: “From here it goes up … or hold…”

    Fucking scammer…
    (Bergamot spits)

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