So the market is up today. I am not impressed. Do you want to know why I am not impressed? Of course you are–why else would you be here?
Let me tell you something, jackass, the market should not have gone done in the first place. While you were over there, shorting stocks into the hole, smarter people than you were buying. How many times does this need to happen for you to get it into your thick, cromagnon skulls?
The market isn’t going down, or at least until I say so. Got it?
I could be a dick and start buying all of the shit you sold yesterday. But I’m a better man than that and will practice the art of discretion. The only reason why I am doing this is because it’s a Friday and I have better things to do, other than waste my time buying your stocks.
I’ll tell you what I will do. I’m gonna give you until Monday to cover your shorts. If you don’t do it by then, well, you’re gonna get your eyebrows punched clean off your face.
So what should you buy?
Oh, I don’t know. How about anything? Does that work for you?
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WAY OUT OF THE MONAY CALLS IN SUM TRIPLE LEVERAGED LONG ETFS!!!!! “YOU WANNA GET NUTS??! LETS GET NUTS!!!” (Michael Keaton as Batman)
I can’t tell you how thankful I am for the internet and idiotic websites like Stocktwits and Twitter that give all of the morons out there a voice so we can finally know what the fucking moronic masses are thinking. I have profited immensely from them. The amount of bear porn that passes through those halls is epic and unending. Despite all of the evidence showing stocks go up over time, they have decided in their infinite wisdom to short stocks with reckless abandon, for reasons like “they can’t keep going up” or “but the economy is shitty” or “margin debt is at all time highs”.
So thank you, internets, for giving a voice to the poor wretched souls that in turn have made me a fortune.
That reminds me of this wonderful photo.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/get-a-brain-morans
I hope Obama at the end of his speech today says, “Oh yeah and one last fucking point. Janet Yellen is clueless, everyone go buy calls in the social media names as they are going to RIP TITS to the upside. God Bless the USA!”
That would be super if he said that. Obama is the best stock market guru around, having told people to buy stocks for the long term right at the 2009 bottom.
Janet Yellen said to buy ENPH and CSIQ. BWAWAWAWAWAWA!
One forum I frequent has like a psychic or something: http://imgur.com/cnS6xBX
am I crazy for going long TZA right now? IWM is still under it’s 50 day MA
I’m long TZA @ $15.50
What Grandma Yellen said about social media and biotech stocks, albeit meddling, shady, manipulative, reckless, and completely unprofessional, had SOME truth to it.
However, look at GILD and FB today, two of the leaders in those respective industries. They came back with a vengeance, and stomped a mudhole in the old bag.
My opinion is that once there is a correction, whenever it may be, the true leaders in social and media and biotech will come out even stronger at the end, just as AAPL, AMZN, and GOOG did after the dust cleared of those fake dot.com companies.