Wednesday, December 7, 2016
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
14,855 Blog Posts


Let me preface this post with a few facts regarding “The Fly” and the discretion he exhibits on a daily basis when it comes to his nutrition. I am relegated to the strictest of plans, as I am cutting down to 10-11% body fat. While doing so, I am eating loads of protein and minimizing the carbs, like any decent, law abiding, citizen who cares about his/her body should.

HOWEVER, ever since the Fall has attacked me, I’ve been craving pumpkin in just about any food product. I’ve eaten pumpkin bread, pie, cookies, washed it down with pumpkin beer and coffee. Just today I ordered pumpkin raviolis, but decided to send it back to the chef for being “completely inadequate and entirely inedible” (those were my exact words). By the way, once you say something like that, forget about eating at that establishment, forever. Send the food back and ask for your check. Trust me on that.

Back to the crisis at hand. All of this pumpkin stuff is driving me mad. I even had a “pumpkin shandy” yesterday. I don’t even know what that is, yet I drank it. In the pantry lies two packs of pumpkin jello that I picked up. I was fixing on having Mrs. Fly make it for me. Just last week I created some sort of pumpkin protein bar crap. Oh, by the way, I have pumpkin granola bars too. If pumpkin could be injected and mainlined, I’d probably do it, despite my aversion to needles.

Did I mention that I’ve been going to this organic smoothie store for “pumpkin smoothies” for lunch? It’s like a god damned pumpkin pie in a 12oz cup.

Bear in mind, I’m consuming all of this in a very methodical, organized manner, still conforming to my nutritional plan. Nonetheless, I find myself to be a ridiculous person, devouring all of this pumpkin. Surely any gentleman worth a pinch of salt shouldn’t behave in such a depraved manner.

By the way, this god damned Pumpking beer is phenomenal and is sold out at my local alcoholic spot. If you should happen to see it at your local alcoholic resting store, buy it in spades.

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  1. Marc David

    Why was I not told about this pumpkin craze?

  2. ironbird

    Pumpkin soup. Find a recipe that does not kill it with high levels of sugar and cinnamon. Banana squash or the small sugar pumpkin are the best. Same with pie, Been a thanksgiving staple in our family for about a hundred years. The egregious over spicing and sweetening is always the problem.

  3. ironbird

    Unfortunately, most plebs think of pumpkin anything as a form of dessert. That is the pie influence. The soup is a pure health food when prepared properly. Similar to a pea soup.

  4. budh

    Put some bacon in there to make it good.

  5. steak

    Funny. I stopped into a liquor/cigar store today because they had a sign outside advertising Pumking… it was sold out. I’m a big fan of Southern Tier products in general (especially their IPA’s). If you have the opportunity to try Pumpking on tap, definitely give it a shot. When the waitress/bartender asks if you’d like cinnamon on the rim of your glass, slap them in their stupid face.

  6. bathsalttrader

    Pumking is a very quality pumpkin beer indeed. However, I find ‘s GoodGourd to be the best pumpkin-pie tasting beverage I’ve ever tried.

  7. ottnott

    Pumpkin is just your cover for a growing nutmeg addiction. Soon you will be moving on to bath salts and krokodil.

    The latter will do a nice job of trimming your body fat, along with all that unnecessary lean muscle mass. You’ll be left with a nice calcium-dominant body that will unnerve opponents in any negotiation or confrontation.

  8. MikeyWins

    I am trying “the fast mataolism” diet by Haylie Pomroy. She says 20-28 pounds in four weeks, and I am down 6 in six days. Its sort of a “get your mabaolism working right” approach with plenty of food and an iphone app to make it easy to follow. You can eat pumkin too.

  9. sodapopinski

    Why do rednecks love Halloween?

    Because they Pumpkin.

  10. sodapopinski

    Btw fly, I am waiting for the VIX Halloween video to make its annual appearance. I can’t find it on Horatio Clawhammer’s Youtube Account

  11. UncleBuccs

    Dr. Fly, that damn PumpKing isn’t distributed out this way. Hmff. Early reviews of this years Dogfish Punkin’ ale aren’t too positive. Uinta ‘Oak Jacked’ has been recommended to me by a man in Las Vegas who is never wrong, and I will try.

    On an entirely different note, it thrilled me to see coffee back on your menu. I almost feel an even stronger kindredship with you…

  12. jcvtwo

    Take a trip to New Zealand for fun, they have pumpkin made in every way imaginable.

  13. gatorsun

    is there a pumpkin ETF we can go long? just trying to make a buck on this insight

  14. UncleBuccs

    gatorsun, your predatory spirit is absolutely inspiring..

  15. anton

    Sounds like you’ve gone pumkin’ nuts.

  16. tradercaddy

    The Publix store brand of Pumpkin Iced Cream is the best (although one can forget
    the 10-11% fat goal if one eats too much)..

  17. kasparov

    Pumpkin is nutritionally rich, filled with carotenoids that work synergistically to combat aging/disease.

    It’s a superfood:

  18. matt_bear

    Cut down to 11%? How fat are you now?

  19. j livermore

    Are you acquiring a orangish tan tone to your skiin in the meantime? HAHAHAHAHAHA
    Do you notice a constant jackolantern grin upon your face?
    Something is up dude.

  20. pyromonoxide

    Since my life is still in boxes from moving I don’t have the recipe offhand, but I have a killer pumpkin curry soup. Basically, roast pumpkin, put into chicken stock liquefy pumpkin with an immersion blender(or in batches in a blender) add your favorite curry, maybe other vegetables. Serve with a scoop of greek yogurt or similar on top. Spicy fall pumpkin soup…

  21. UncleBuccs

    Sir Fly. One of my Instagram beer wenches just posted a Southern Tier ‘Warlock’ & described it as a smokier Pumpking… Hopefully you can talk Mrs Fly into fetching one for you before the day is through…

  22. kapitalist

    Haha you must have high pumpkin tolerance. My girl has made pumpkin cupcakes, pumpkin cake, and pumpkin coffees all in the last week. I’m pumpkin-ed out. I do consider it a treat and don’t like to abuse the taste. But good for you Fly, glad you are enjoying the simple things in life!

  23. one-eighty

    Had pumpkin soup once. Couldn’t stop farting.

  24. bottom_feeder

    ROFLMAO. I saw pumpkin beer at the local brewery this weekend and said to my wife, that has got to taste like s**t. No way a gentleman would drink that. It’s for gutter rats and girls in bell bottoms. Now I’m thinking I may be missing a treat. I’ll let you know by this weekend.