Let me preface this post with a few facts regarding “The Fly” and the discretion he exhibits on a daily basis when it comes to his nutrition. I am relegated to the strictest of plans, as I am cutting down to 10-11% body fat. While doing so, I am eating loads of protein and minimizing the carbs, like any decent, law abiding, citizen who cares about his/her body should.
HOWEVER, ever since the Fall has attacked me, I’ve been craving pumpkin in just about any food product. I’ve eaten pumpkin bread, pie, cookies, washed it down with pumpkin beer and coffee. Just today I ordered pumpkin raviolis, but decided to send it back to the chef for being “completely inadequate and entirely inedible” (those were my exact words). By the way, once you say something like that, forget about eating at that establishment, forever. Send the food back and ask for your check. Trust me on that.
Back to the crisis at hand. All of this pumpkin stuff is driving me mad. I even had a “pumpkin shandy” yesterday. I don’t even know what that is, yet I drank it. In the pantry lies two packs of pumpkin jello that I picked up. I was fixing on having Mrs. Fly make it for me. Just last week I created some sort of pumpkin protein bar crap. Oh, by the way, I have pumpkin granola bars too. If pumpkin could be injected and mainlined, I’d probably do it, despite my aversion to needles.
Did I mention that I’ve been going to this organic smoothie store for “pumpkin smoothies” for lunch? It’s like a god damned pumpkin pie in a 12oz cup.
Bear in mind, I’m consuming all of this in a very methodical, organized manner, still conforming to my nutritional plan. Nonetheless, I find myself to be a ridiculous person, devouring all of this pumpkin. Surely any gentleman worth a pinch of salt shouldn’t behave in such a depraved manner.
By the way, this god damned Pumpking beer is phenomenal and is sold out at my local alcoholic spot. If you should happen to see it at your local alcoholic resting store, buy it in spades.