iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,441 Blog Posts

Taking a Barbell Approach to Pershing Capital

It’s very early in the JCP story. However, one thing is for certain, they will draw down on all of their cash by the end of 2013. This company is going to recapitalize, whether it be through private financing or a large, dilutive secondary, or bond offering.  It’s not in any danger of going bankrupt, just yet, since they have a credit facility to fall back on. But the trends in retail are the very worst ever witnessed by a big box store, including SHLD.

If forced to liquidate their real estate to raise capital, they are likely to receive “distressed bids” from prospective buyers, nowhere close to $200-250 per sq ft.

The vultures will be circling their wagons until they nail down some financing.

Ron Johnson made a huge mistake, thinking the old horse faced– sea hag crowd– at JCP was hip like the AAPL dork-a-tron line slaves. Clearly, he struck lightening in the bottle with the Apple stores and is now comically lost at JCP.

Being that Bill Ackman is getting “barbelled” on both JCP and HLF, I suspect there might be an exaggerated run on both positions, to further weaken “Montauk Bill” and his scurrilous ways.

Other positions of Bill’s to keep an eye on, in case he needs to raise money, are BEAM, CP, GGP, TGT and LOW.

Ackman owns good, liquid stocks, but these two (JCP, HLF) are going dreadfully wrong for him and I am obliged to kick him down a few flights of spiked steps–as I sashay (no homo) to my next destination.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeMmauRMbts 603 500]

 

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29 comments

  1. your sisters panties
    your sisters panties

    and they just announced secondary,..

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  2. J Livermore

    That barbell picture is priceless in the context of Pershing. ROFLMAO !!!

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  3. your sisters panties
    your sisters panties

    10M share secondary via DB but i cant find any other news out

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  4. Tpain

    Herbalife is taking over all the gyms in SoCal. People offering that stuff left and right.

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  5. Caviar

    The success of AAPL stores had very little to do with Ron Johnson. The inventory was so good it sold itself. They could have retailed that shit out the back of Taco Bell locations and people would have bought it hand over fist.

    Ron Johnson is a tailcoat rider.

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  6. Freddy Fishsticks
    Freddy Fishsticks

    What is up with CWEI?

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  7. Braveflaps - travelling through space and time at Mach Nards!!!
    Braveflaps - travelling through space and time at Mach Nards!!!

    Nice call on JCP today and voila (no homo)afterhours.

    BTW: the gods have decreed that when HLF offers Herbaldouche next week the stock will go to 100.

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  8. Mr.Partridge

    Dr. Fly just Killed Bill …

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  9. TraderCaddy

    How come all of the stores where I bought stuff from in the early days have either gone out of business or are about to do same?
    Case(s) in point:
    1st set of golf clubs (aluminum shaft Northwesterns)- Oshmans
    1st suit (dark brown)- Montgomery Wards
    1st Sport Coat (Wheat and brown stripes)- Richman Brothers
    1st Tom Mcans- speaks for itself
    Meatloaf sandwich- Woolworth lunch counter
    1st furniture after married- Levitz
    Used to check out the lingerie pictures delivered via mail catalog to the old home when I was 13 or so and … (better not go there)- JC Penny

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    • jimmy_two_times
      jimmy_two_times

      dark brown, bell bottom, or to be politically correct “flaired”, just don’t try to call it a “boot cut”.

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      • unclehar

        corduroys, and the hideous wide legged jeans. carpenter pants, engineer pants. worky boots, etc.

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    • KDog

      Gold Triangle: http://www.pbase.com/image/84756901

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      • TraderCaddy

        THAT is the exact same Gold Triangle that I used to go to and buy fishing equipment (SW Miami HS grad) in the early ’70s.
        And I recall when Dadeland was not enclosed when it was first built and remember when the Palmetto (2 lanes) was built.
        I see in the comments re: Shortys BBQ and I ate there many times.
        Gold Star Deli on 8th St.was good as was Arebetters hot dogs on Bird Rd. although I now hear it is crappy.

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        • MX2101

          TC- I remember when I-95 ended just north of downtown Ft. Lauderdale. And it wasn’t that long ago that the Grove was the hot spot, and Miami Beach was not the place to be. I remember renting a hotel room on Miami Beach two blocks from the ocean, for $126 a month.

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          • TraderCaddy

            Yes.
            Lincoln Road Mall area used to be full of porno shops, empty stores, drunks, and druggies.
            That area around Collins and Alton Rd. was kind of nasty.
            Remember Jackie Gleason?

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          • MX2101

            From the sun and fun capital of the world. And away we go!

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  10. widespread panik
    widespread panik

    Fly why do you hate Ackman so? Just curious. I don’t have much respect for the big hedgies either, but was just wondering if he had screwed you over in a previous life or……

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    • Tonka

      Why do you have to hate in order to take advantage of an opportunity?

      Vultures circle dying funds all the time. We just don’t usually hear about it because it’s kept out of the spotlight. Not this time.

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  11. The Eye-Talian Stallion
    The Eye-Talian Stallion

    More and more we find out that Jobs dragged these mid-level hacks up the stairways to the stars.

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  12. Randomness

    My wife thought JCP had lost its mind a bit ago. I had to explain the Ron Johnson “no sales” story line. The old horse faced– sea hag crowd loves Kohls (except my wife who is as beautiful as the day I married her) They have 50% off, then another 30% off if you use your Kohls charge, plus Kohls cash on top of that. Marketing genius.

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    • Belly of the Beast
      Belly of the Beast

      Another person might say that it’s a drag to look at an overinflated price tag and play games with coupons and Kokl’s Cash that expires on full price day, wishing they would just have an honest price every day.

      Honestly, no one expects you to pay full price

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  13. Rob T

    The coupon-driven marketing ploy has been in place for centuries for one reason: it works. Not sure how Ron Johnson was able to convince himself that he could somehow rise above the convention selling commoditized merchandise.

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  14. buy cheap baby furniture

    I feel other sorts of blog operators will need to give some thought to this important webpage as a model. Amazingly clean and simple to use approach, not to mention ideal articles and other content! You are an expert regarding this valuable niche 🙂

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