Friday, December 9, 2016
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
14,875 Blog Posts

Slow Your Roll

All coal related stocks are going to zero, thanks to the Obama EPA. Stop buying them. BBY is dying because they dedicate 25% of their stupid stores to selling CDs and DVDs. HPQ is sucking dick because they bought Maddoff’s tech company. And INTC is lower because its super rich CEO decided to quit 3 years early.

Aside from that, everything is good. For every ANR there is a WNR. As of this second, the market is doing what it should, consolidate a big gain with muted losses.

You need to slow the fuck down and understand that the market doesn’t go down on Turkey Week.



NOTE: First read this-

Specialty tea retailer Teavana (TEA), which has recently agreed to be acquired for $620M or $15.50 per share by Starbucks (SBUX), is sliding after a firm with a disclosed short position said the deal could be jeopardized by allegations of consumer fraud at Teavana. Glaucus Research Group claimed in a note to investors earlier today that independent laboratory tests it had commissioned indicated that Teavana’s teas contain pesticides in amounts that exceed regulatory limits set by the U.S. and European Union. According to Glaucus, Teavana’s marketing practices violate federal and state laws against deceptive marketing and the firm believes Starbucks is likely to walk away from the agreed upon deal once the “inevitable” lawsuits against Teavana begin. Glaucus disclosed in its note, “We are short sellers. We are biased…(But) just because we are biased does not mean that we are wrong.” In mid-morning trading, shares of Teavana slid 53c, or 3.43%, to $14.90.

If this is false, those fuckers should be tossed into mobile electric chairs. How bitter and destitute do you have to be to keep writing short sellers stories, AFTER the company was bought out? This shit should not be legal. The deal was done for $15.5, ALL CASH. This looks like free money.

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  1. BottleRocket

    What kind of Turkey is being served Chez Fly?

  2. Bullish

    Pesticides in your tea? I knew that stuff smelled funny everytime I pass it in the mall.

  3. Rhino

    I like shorting shit just as much as everyone else, but if that shit is false, or the sample size is too small, they deserve to get thrown into a moat.

    • tmt

      What about the personal acctbility?

      You read a negative report so you rush to sell? lolz?

      Remember fly bashing decks sam poser before his flys meaculpa? fly should be thrown in the moat by your logic, he was soooooo wrong., thats redic. Fly is wrong a lot and right a lot. By your logics his rights>wrongs mean nothing? Not this very site/ or peoples employed?

      • dericDarko

        Your English and grammar sucks.

        I’ve gone through the amateur Glaucus piece and it is a joke. They only tested 13 samples, and never identified where they were tested or how they were sampled. Then they throw in these bullshit charts proving false claims by TEA’s ‘salespeople’ (probably some 16 yr old at your local mall). Then they claim that Teavana is 368% more expensive per ounce than Tazo, through some apples to oranges comparison of the total average cost of each company’s products.

        Pathetic and desperate.

        • tmt

          to whom?

          your slight on my grammars aside, and generous thanks on patience with my english.

          You fall prey to simple failing. if reports are fake, they loose credulity. A firm has no obligation to trueth, None, only profit mtive, does not matter. Whiners whine like babes in the cribes, when milks been spilt, dont be that, you are not. Father always said.

          Not accuising, fly do it too all the time, but then wins once more. Part of life, be open to it

          No need for personal barbs on your family

        • Mr. Cain Thaler

          Their tea is fresh and doesn’t taste like shit like Tazo either

  4. Freebie

    So puts on TEA, since the maximum it can rise against you is to 15.5 ??

  5. Jenkins

    Not so sure on TEA. Deal could still get done, but every acquisition agreement has an out for material adverse changes and/or breaches of reps and warranties. Depends on whether these testing results are bullshit or not. Find it hard to believe they’d concoct such an elaborate lie, although stranger things have happened. The “research report” certainly looks amateurish and full of hyperbole.

  6. jimmy_two_times

    The prep walks are far and few between these days.

    So much manipulation going on at all levels, and its so in your face, and no one is doing anything about it.

    At least back in the DBL days it was hidden, payphone calls etc.

    Fly, btw, those electrci chairs should be tossed into a pool – just becasue !

  7. Patrick

    Mmmm pesticide tea…delicious.

  8. The Fly

    Shut up with the pesticides. You people are fucking idiots.

  9. Jean-Paul

    Love Legacy Oil (LEG.TO)… You should.

  10. Caicos

    I sold my WNR today!
    After including 2 dividends in November, my gain was 12.7%.
    After being up 4.18% today, I couldn’t resist.
    WNR closed at 26.06 today, just yesterday it hit a low of 24.39
    I’ll buy back in on any pullback.

  11. Mr. Cain Thaler

    I heard they just found pesticides in Deloitte’s audit department…

  12. razorsedge

    going back to retirement, wake me when the world is over.

  13. fake amish

    Is the pain in the ultimate leftard stock AAPL going to be the signal on when the dems buckle and stop the fuck the rich runaway train? Wondering if the SPY is the wrong issue. The fiscal cliff will be figured out at some point but what is the max pain tell?

    • fake amish

      The devastation to the ultimate boomer mega cap tech names INTC HPQ NOK with MSFT following looks like a retirement funding liquidation. Is the torch finally passing from the go go 90’s?

  14. BottleRocket

    I’m bearish again. Anybody who has held stocks since November of 2011 or earlier is going to take profits before the end of the year. It’s just madness to hold 10% from all time highs and pay higher taxes next year. We are a hell of a lot higher then we were a year ago and there are a lot of winners out there. The higher we go, the better the selling opportunity.

    • fake amish

      Exactly. The “the market doubled” propaganda under the 0 is fucking worthless now. It is called “you can have it”. The left really fucked up this time.

  15. fake amish

    Sounds like the unfortunate that got fucked by Sandy are screwed. The leftards will be there every step to tell you how when and if you can ever rebuild. Gotta love the socialists post a disaster.

  16. Bozo on a bus

    Tea testing – since impurity limits are low and the testing is imprecise there will be some false positives, say 5%. So, take 300 samples and send them out to different labs in small batches to be tested. You’ll get back 15 positive test results, none of which are actually over the limit.

  17. Testicules

    Isn’t caffeine a pesticide?

  18. Narwahl

    The Glaucus report should make for some fine reading for country folk, waiting between episodes of Real Housewives.

  19. Trading_Nymph

    I wonder if they celebrate Thanksgiving in Greece??? They delayed that EU meeting tonight until next week, so IMF Christine and EU ain’t seeing eye to eye IMHO. ..come on Turkey Gods, Give it your best shot.

  20. dave

    I know who is going to have a good Thanksgiving; pirates. Obama’s health care taxes are forcing me to lay off all my beavers and termites.

    You know who fears beavers and termites? It’s pirates with a wooden leg.

    My girlfriend thinks my line of business is stupid. We’ll see what she thinks when I’m forced to become a male gigolo.

  21. theedge111

    And Greece rears its ugly head once again. IMF threatening to bail on them is they can’t get debt/GDP down to 120%.

    Report says they will not get there without further debt reductions.

    What a mess!

  22. razorsedge

    Hostess fails to get a deal. I think they’ll get a bidder this week. The ding doings will be happy but not the union.

    • Mr. Cain Thaler

      Hostess is worth more dismantled in pieces. Why buy the whole company, with their pension and culture baggage, when you can just buy the rights to Twinkies, which let’s face it is all anybody wants anyway.

      That and maybe those cupcakes with the swirls…