iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,433 Blog Posts

Futures Are Lower; Therefore, You Must Sell

I’ve been talking to you nerds since 2006. In about a month, iBankCoin will celebrate its 5th anniversary. The money generated from this website, which happens to be a pittance compared to my numerous financial interests, help to maintain and operate North America’s first ever civilian owned ORBITAL SPACE CANNON (OSC)– to be used for offensive purposes only. You should be proud to support such an endeavor. At first I found blogging to be stupid, then interesting, stupid again, insanely cumbersome, WTF am I wasting my time here?, and finally to “I am going to prove these cocksuckers wrong over and over again, and with flare.”

The one constant you will find here is this:

“The Fly” wins all the time, even when he is losing badly.

It’s not a fight unless you get punched in the face. I enjoy the back and forth with many of you, even the ones I ban for life, discarding you like deformed babies from ancient Sparta. Over the past 5 years, there have been numerous occasions when “The Fly” has endured set backs. Just last year I was 30% long WNR from $18 to $12. Instead of selling, I bought more, then rode that bitch/whore to $25. Several months ago, I had 40% of my assets stuck in YELP, amidst a social media blackout, crushed under the weight of “The Fuckbook,” enduring a share drop of $22 to $14. So I bought more, then rode that fucker back to $28 and gone. Ghost, poof.

Now you gander upon my mystical person today, set aflame by a number of stocks gone awry. It appears “Le Fly” has lost his cool, gone for good. For the love of dead dogs and rabid humans, he’s only +27% for the year.

But I have news for you, and it’s good. “The Fly” is now a coal man, fixed on making grandiose sums of money at the explicit expense of the Goldman Sachs “coal team’s” repute. Men like Andre do not stand a fucking chance against me. The winds of the market bend to my caprices. I’ve fixed my energy into the ongoings of the “coal trade” and will see it through to the very end, as God is my witness and SENATOR GINT will blog again.

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33 comments

  1. mrkcbill

    I Remember when you shorted Fat Mountain Bitches

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  2. The Fly

    From Fly’s Lab Screen:

    BAS
    ATI
    VALE
    WLT
    ANR
    CLF
    WBMD
    GNW
    BPI
    PDS
    YGE
    JOY

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  3. cheesetrader

    You know how to spot if the Fly’s on freakin’ fire and about to bank serious coin? There’s a techno link. A little RJD2 or Kascade and we’re serious gold

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  4. DJMarcus

    congrats on the 5 years fly. fantastic job

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  5. The Once and Future Rhino
    The Once and Future Rhino

    Fuck GS, the proverbial sheriff of Nottingham. Their entire culture can kiss my big white ass. This is the best finance blog on the fuckin interwebs, may it carry on long after we are gone. I don’t always agree with you but at least you’re fucking honest when you lose, which is part of this game.

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  6. The Eye-Talian Stallion
    The Eye-Talian Stallion

    As soon as Romney is sworn in, his transition team will flip the energy lever from sunlight and pig farts back to fossil fuels. CLR will do well, it’s owner a major supporter of Romney and energy advisor. The EPA will be locked up in the attic along with the other retarded children leftover from 0bama.

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    • Frog

      Better get rid of Romney plays before the election, because Obama is going to win the election.

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      • fake amish

        Senor Fly is there anyway the people of Ibankcoin can petition a ban of the cocksucker that is Frog? The it? Whatever it is. Fucking pollution of some kind.

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  7. Mr.Partridge

    Welcome to the dark side boss (coal is pretty dark you know)… I have been waiting for you here for a few days 🙂
    may I also suggest TCK and VALE
    PS: this was not an investment advise by any means, just something I thought would fit well with your other coals…
    question – why not just buy KOL? thoughts?

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  8. Dan Dangerdance

    “discarding you like deformed babies from ancient Sparta”

    well, i crawled back up that fucking hill, looking to bite off your big toe, so you will be proud of me.

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  9. The_Real_Hmmm

    I also wonder if you wrote flare, read it, thought it was funnier and kept it, or missed the correct spelling altogether. The astute reader will note that it doesn’t matter, because The Fly always wins even when it appears he is losing badly.

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  10. Chris Cooper

    You must of been writing the blog post while thinking of being in South Beach fist pumping or some shit. Mixing it up a bit

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  11. Big dummy

    How about Svu it’s down 20% since I bought it

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  12. charlie

    Welcome to the coal train. When it comes to Romney stocks, nothing comes close to the kind of return ANR offers. Not even NAK.

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  13. john

    Well at least you know Goldman has your back since Andre is publishing bearish coal pieces. The whores over there are probably buying fist over fist betting against their clients..

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  14. ecchymosis

    Congrats on 5 years raving. Looking forward to the OSC vaporizing CNBC World HQ.

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  15. Anton

    Long live the iBC and the OSC.

    And may Senator Gint (Rrrrrr, KY), soon blog again.

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  16. Gold

    NAK is a sell here ?

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  17. Narwahl

    Watching the local news tonight, a story caught my ear. “A worm in Apple stock”, they said,”share prices tumble.” This is a local news station, mind you, that never talks about the stock market. Sound like a time to be selling?

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    • fake amish

      Those same bumpkin stations have been whoring for AAPL since 300. Not that the pig will not bounce hard but the pump has been massive compared to the pissy panic on the dump. Apple has been sold to you like every story gloryhole investment since the striped tulip.

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    • twister

      Apple is a goner. Every Apple lemming in my office is moving to Samsung

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  18. Narwahl

    The news anchorette wearing a 1989 Milli Vanilli blazer sure seems to think so.

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  19. moolahheaven

    Here ‘Rigged’, this is for you, though I doubt anything anyone can say will get you to stop being an Obama-zombie:

    Obama Campaign Rakes In Millions In Illegal Foreign Cash

    Read More At IBD:
    http://news.investors.com/ibd-editorials/100812-628607-obama-campaign-raises-illegal-cash-overseas.htm#ixzz28sF7rREX

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  20. Trading_Nypmh

    lol, happy early anniv, funny..2006 is when you started blogging and 2007 is when I first started learning about what a stock is (omg, like what a p/e is, how to purchase a stock). If this is the 5th year anniv of Ibank coin in the next month, does it mean you started IBank Coin in 2007??? So me and IBank Coin have the same Anniversary. This totally amuses me

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  21. TheOSU

    coal plays should work for the next
    few weeks , but with so much interest
    by the little guy i’d be very careful .
    otoh a young guy buying WLT for spec accts. should be a hero

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  22. Goose

    real coal men live outside Huntington, WV and drive GMC Sierra’s.

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  23. tom

    can you be the coal man AND the chicken man

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