iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,536 Blog Posts

THERE IS NO FUCKING PLAN

A clown can throw darts at a pile of trash, littered with ticker symbols, and make money when the market bounces. When it does bounce, there will be 20-30% winners inside of a few short days. The plan will be to lick my fucking wounds and retire from this idiot business and take my money to build “Social Media Prisons”, where I will lobby for the arrest and detainment of fraudulent social media executives.

Also, I will rebuild my time machine and start using my fucking space orbital cannon with extreme belligerency.

My stocks are positioned, as hilarious as it sounds, for a Chinese stimulus package. At my funeral, I expect all of you to throw “Chinese burritos” at my coffin– that will be shaped after a fucking pineapple.

Look, I own silver, social media, tech, old man stocks etc. I own all of that shit. I own it all. I am in the soup, cooking myself, pouring broth over my head. There is no need to plan for anything. I will sell my stocks when they go higher. I will visit the television channels and proclaim “this is a generational buy of a lifetime” then get liquid on my viewers. I will partake in all sorts of debauchery, when I am on the teevee. You won’t know it’s Le Fly. I will be represented under an alias, under the most ridiculous pretenses ever, with the explicit purpose to drop CNBC into a media murderhole.

Let’s get the Twitter ipo thing going already. I can’t think of any reasons why they’d delay such an offering, after “The Facebook fervor.” In anticipation of such greatness, we may want to “play the Twitter” by owning some GSVC again. You know, get in before the bozos get it at ipo. The private equity pirates will make sure Twitter ipos through Margin Stanley at a gilded era valuation.

The black flag of unmerciful aggressive offensive tactics is ready to impale those fucking bears in my way. The news flow is very predictable, very doomful and scornful. We all know it’s going to shit (no toilet bowl), so it makes sense to ride these fucking horses until they are dead or until they stomp out the faces of our enemies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Sn6u5YPfZA

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33 comments

  1. halfbloodpope

    WFT is that thing next to the pineapple? Mitochondria?

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  2. thetapeguy

    Waiting for the day you get liquid on those raving lunatics on CNBC and the analysts with dementia. They are much too scared to let you debate with them.

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  3. stockcats

    Buy Low, get High, Sell later…

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  4. Steve Liesman

    I have a degree in journalism.
    I love the grateful dead.

    Post financial crisis. I began “analyzing data”.

    I now think I am a statistician, economist, and hedge fund manager.

    I want to spoon ben.

    I am CNBHORSESHIT.

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    • Yogi and Boo Boo
      Yogi and Boo Boo

      Are you gonna start a new fund of funds with Ron Insana? I need new ways to burn my cash.

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  5. alf44

    señor !

    Enough with the “Pineapple Coffin” already !

    Have you considered taxidermy ?

    Or, perhaps you could have your remains tranformed at HIGH tempertures into an exquisite gem stone !

    The “Pineapple Coffin” is so 2011 !

    .

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    • alf44

      uhhh … “tranSformed” …

      uhhh … “temperAtures” …

      uhhh … A game !!!

      .

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    • pitbull

      i read it in 2008 unforntuatly !

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      • pitbull

        because i sold in 08 instead of holding ! …and sold the home and the wife and cat /2 cars and retired to my tricycle & Teepee..not to be confused with teevee !

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    • lol!

      glad to see you back alf. I thought you were forever banned

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  6. Rhino

    Dimon uses DDM on all stocks, even if they don’t have a dividend. Kinda fucks up the valuation, but who cares right?

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  7. john

    At least throw your followers a bone. Drink out of an iBC mug or wear a top hat.

    On a side note, I cant wait to hear king zuckerdork host his first earnings call. I would love to be there to watch him sweat. There needs to be an IBC wager pool for how long he talks and how much FB drops the next day.

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  8. DJMarcus

    fly im going to be in nyc wed-thurs to find an apt. thurs night come out – we will forget the sorrows of the market. bar none is lots of fun this time of yr. And maybe u can get us bottles at tenjune or kissnfly

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  9. 4fl3x

    If the Real Fly was around, he’d be pressing his shorts and poking fun of all these dip-$#&! buyers. Hopefully your JakeGint strategy of closing you eyes works out in the end.

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  10. fake amish

    classic fly.

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  11. Hammy

    I’m 95% long with my entire net worth. But I’m also 26.

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    • fake amish

      then you can shovel shit for a few more years than most other peeps that gamble on a cold table. ballsy tho.

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    • MX2101

      Good luck Hammy, hope this works out for you. If it does not, you have time.

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    • smerdyakov

      I’m 50% short and I’m 25… it’s still clear that smart money is 95% cash and is taking a vacation for the next few weeks.

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  12. Juice

    well, adversity certainly doesn’t hurt le fly’s prose … in fact it brings out a certain je ne sait wtf

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  13. DarthVaderMentor
    DarthVaderMentor

    You are an incurable optimist. Jailing social media executives?

    If they never prosecuted any banksters, they’ll never look at social media executives.

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  14. Berniecornfeld
    Berniecornfeld

    Long Pineapple Coffins

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  15. Snarrk

    Fun fact: You are one of my favorite human beings.

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