iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,441 Blog Posts

Novices and Nuisances

All of you shit talkers, proclaiming doom and disaster in the markets, are without coin. You are small plebs, midgets in finance, vagrants of society. How do I know this?

Well, for one, the market has gone straight up since 2009. There aren’t many professional short sellers to begin with. Just guys like you, who come and go, has-beens in the real and virtual world. You might enjoy a few good months, here or there; but in the end, you will lose your heads. It will come as a fantastic surprise. You might be long FAZ calls and TZA on margin into the weekend. Come Sunday evening, futures might be down 20 on some bad news.

You might even go to sleep dreaming of the coin to be had. Visions of grandeur and accomplishment will flood your thoughts. Instead of wearing Chinese man delivery shirts, you might be able to afford 250 stitch count suits that hardly feel like table cloths.

Then BAM! The news will come and you will be frightened from it. At first, you will be in deep denial, proclaiming the central bank plan to be “absurd” or “stupid.” You will tell others that “all this does it kick the can down the road.” But deep down, you will know what will come next.

The executioner will come to your house and cut your fucking brains out from your head. The market will rip higher by more than 500 in a single session; and it will happen on an options expiration day to boot–just to fuck you a little bit harder.

Enjoy the Spring and keep some money tucked aside for a rainy day. On the beard of Rick Ross and all that is good in this world, the news is coming.

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31 comments

  1. Rhino

    OFF WITH THEIR HEADS

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  2. Honey Badger

    I am the executioner and I don’t work for free…

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  3. redman59

    On an expiration Friday would be of grandeur & definitely screw the most leveraged.

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  4. novicetrader

    i’m glad that i’m the novice not the nuisance… But hey that’s what makes market, buyer n seller…

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  5. the boost

    could i have missed something ? from the mark coming back and the options of such.. to back to gold standard.. to complete overhaul of the sand fleas and goat fuckers and their oil properties ,to the sale of alaska ..ect.ect

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  6. jimmy_two_times
    jimmy_two_times

    Fly, I am with you on the QE, but have we really moved low enough in the markets? Not to mention a lot of talking heads saying US can withstand EZ shock (yeah right).

    I still think more pain to come and then response will in fact be nuclear and all CBs will be in.

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    • The Fly

      It’s not the level of the markets, but severity of the news.

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      • jimmy_two_times
        jimmy_two_times

        interesting. my take on the Bernank was to step in at the 11th hour, which in the past has been following a good 15-20% rout.

        whats your take on the RockChilds deal? the Childs bailing on Europe?

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      • Mark

        Well said.

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  7. Channel Guy Trader

    LOL Fly funny. I agree with you but still think we see some downside. What part of NY do I have to go to pay a visit. Upstate NY, the hamptons, or Queens… Son Son..

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  8. Silentmax

    Until we start seeing 300 down dow days and more. The qe rally cry wont be a viable option

    It really needs to get bad for any qe to be feasable

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  9. the boost

    i am not worried about the ferengi repopulating on earth..
    i will remain in a gaseous state

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  10. dave

    You should be praying QE happens.

    I suspect it will be just enough to keep the market going sideways.

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  11. fomoiri

    Yes but, it is on the beard of Rosie O’Donnell’s bush that the news arrives and the news will be yesterday’s prologue. The news will be m’aidez.

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  12. Greg

    I agree no one can predict where we will be a year from now. I think people talk shit Because there short Term signs to exit your positions instead you went on rants that we were going to make new highs . In the short term we are not until we can get a big failure somewhere . We needed a pullback because we have been up since 2009. You might be right in the long term but in the mean time your entries sucked .

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  13. mike

    QE3 good for 200 pts when announced??

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  14. Yabollox

    S&P 500 is down 7% month of May. $US is up 6% in that time.

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    • The Equalizer

      In other words, equities are quite literally just another commodity.

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  15. theedge111

    The can will be kicked until it can’t anymore.

    It’s going to happen but trying to time when it will happen is tough and you will go broke trying to do so.

    The central planners have too much to lose without trying more stimulus.

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  16. The Eye-Talian Stallion
    The Eye-Talian Stallion

    Keep your AAPL. I found out what the TV is all about and it’s not what anyone expects, it’s astonishing.

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  17. noodleboy

    I am stalking the turn. a guess – the higher the vix, the harder the bounce

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  18. noodleboy

    aapl is very impressive indued

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  19. Curious

    I never would have thought AAPL would be a flight to safety, but today changed my mind — somewhat. We’ll how the chips fall in the coming days… could be a sell the news event, too.

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  20. Trading_Nymph

    I am short, and not going anywhere. Love this too much. Bubble has to pop at some point, they always do.

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  21. fake amish

    in total agreement on the coming skinning of the shorts but the DAX is up on the year. are not the nein nein nein asshats the real problem here? one could assume the krauts must get rolled by mr market before they buckle to the press.

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  22. Ruud

    Why every body relying on QE to get the market up?

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  23. matt

    sounds like someone who is very long in a red tape… hoping for QE or european bonds or or …

    “short” has beens they probably are long the VIX could you imagine being long the vix ??? who would be dumb enough to do that

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    • The Fly

      And what right or accomplishments do you have to be snarky here? Have you ever, for example, made accurate calls here, or are you just a drive by shit talker, like the rest of them?

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  24. kilroy

    Fly,

    I read you because you are most of the time spot on with your read of the market. Plus you’re extremely intelligent and funny. I am an extremely small pleb, wear Chinese man delivery shirts, and read you for enlightenment – I have no coin.

    I wonder if you’d venture beyond finance and share your thoughts on the effects of QE beyond the markets (I know that’s not your gig). Didn’t we see massive upheaval throughout the world last time we did QE with Arab Springs led by hungry peasants?

    QE may be necessary to stabilize the markets, I agree. But what about the destabilizing effect QE will have geopolitically?

    Huge fan.

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