My wife, Mrs. Fly, accidentally melted a plastic spoon in our oven the other day. Through mishap, while taking pizza from the oven, she dropped a plastic spoon onto the oven’s ass. Frantically, in an effort to recover from such a heinous error, she raced for the drawer to find BBQ thongs to remove the smoldering fork. I watched with heightened curiosity as this event transpired. As pale as a ghost, she took the half melted fork out of the oven, then began lamenting over her error. When the oven cooled off, she scrubbed away, trying to remove the hardened plastic fork from the oven’s ass. However, it was too late.
The fork just sort of spread out on the oven, like creamed cheese. This of course, amongst other things, humored me to no end.
When it was time for dinner to be prepared, naturally, she had forgotten about le fork de plastic. Happily, she placed her roast into the oven, then galloped away, cheerfully, to go read about some new lipstick. Watching the clock, in between sips of Earl Grey Tea, I knew it was only a matter of time.
“WHAT IS THAT SMELL?” she exclaimed. I replied, “oh, it’s nothing but the plastic fork you so readily melted in the oven.” It’s worth noting that I responded with grace, whilst casually reading my book (Bleak House).
“But, we cannot have this smell. What will we do?” Again, in a calm and casual manner, I replied “we shall have the plastic fork for dinner.”
“It’s not funny” she shot back, angered by my relaxed tone.
“As a matter of fact, it is quite. We shall have plastic fork with breakfast and lunch and with dinner” I added.
“Arggg.”
As a sit here, blogging like the wind and the sun, shining gifts of knowledge and joy onto your peasantry heads, I am heating up an english muffin, with a side order of plastic fork. It has a certain aroma to it, part industrial, part cosmic. You can smell the muffin, but also the fork. That’s the beauty of it.
Mrs. Fly has all but had enough of le fork de plastic and harbors secretive designs of tossing the entire oven, curbside, in order to perfume her home with the smells of delicacy. I know this to be true.
Howsoever, I beg to differ.
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your lucky. my son put a plastic army man in our oven one day and it burst into flame when i was cooking. quite the drama since i initially couldn’t figure out how to use the fucking extinguisher.
Your lucky what?
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Hahaha
You two luvbirds should watch “The Graduate” tonight.
Mr. McGuire: I just want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
dammit A game. you’re
Nice fork story. (disclosure, long JBL)
put that baby on self clean,and wa la, your the hero.nothing 850 degrees of heat wont cure,when thats done,trow some lemon peels in bake for a while, BAMMM. done………
Either that, or get her the new Viking range she’s been eyeing.
How many times do you get to be the hero in your own house?
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yea jake,thats why she did, the burnt plastic thang. reminds me of the the couple upstairs were arguing,long story short,she got her mini van.lol
You gotta pick your battles, because even when you win, you lose.
😉
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Im still dying over “wa la”.
So what the fuck!? Buy her a new oven!!!
Much to Fly’s chagrin, the mrs. has a new Viking stove enroute to the castle
A few high temperature cleaning cycles will turn that fork into a crisp pile of petrochemicals.
Nothing like pre-carcigenizing the whole family, without the aid of tasty nicotine smokey treats.
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The plastic fork was most likely a carcinogen prior to being reheated.
True. And now that it’s been annealed at 400 degrees, it’s fucking leukemia-on-a- stick.
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Wait, wait, wait…It was a plastic spoon not a fork. Now I don’t even understand what the heck was going on.
TMoe adds to his JOE short position
in short,the only time fly doesnt “win”,is when he’s up against mama fly.buwwwwaaaaaaaaaaa
where exactly does toxins from plastic mix with your healthy life style with your muffin ?
Organic food cooked with petrochemical additives.
Behold! L’Irony de Monsieur led Docteur du Fly.
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What a great society. Fuck up and buy new! God bless and shelter us who squat among the 1%. Laughing at a woman’s oversight is worse than inciting fucking Newt.
From plastic fork in the oven to political discourse.
The next great frontier. Heads up. This just in from Mail Online in the U.K.
Oil companies are planning to create huge factories on the sea bed of the Arctic ocean in a bid to prevent extreme weather conditions from hampering their work.
The giant underwater oil and gas plants will contain all the machinery needed to extract fossil fuels from beneath the waves.
It is hoped the rigs would be serviced by a fleet of manned submarines.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2093454/Underwater-oil-rigs-planned-beat-Arctic-ice-storms-increase-risk-disaster.html#ixzz1kxDszB51
koolstory, thanks. newts comments on the moon colony make me think he’s a lunar-tic
Wasn’t there a kid’s cartoon about this very subject being broadcast on Saturday mornings in the 70’s ? I think they make fun of it now, late night, on Adult Swim.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Sth7wmcJwI
Voila!
Subsea production has been around for ages. Actually drilling for oil completely underwater is a different story. Three words regarding that:
Bull Fucking Shit.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/ae_SxDnD2W4 thought u would like this
A true gentleman would NEVER allow his wife to risk injury by cooking in a hot oven. Have your illegal immigrant maid take care of such things. You would think a man with your coin would know such things. Or maybe you do not possess enough coin to afford a maid?
laughed hard outloud at this statement. Almost got cereal up my nose with my almond milk
Eating a roast? I thought you were getting all Bill Clinton on us and swearing off meat products?
I think it’s more amazing how the oven turned the spoon into a fork in less than one sentence.
this might be one of those “what’s wrong with this picture” sunday cartoon.
Obviously it was a spork.
Baltic Dry Index has collapsed by 58.5% in the first four weeks of this year. 2008 began with a 38% January decline in this same index.
Yep it has..and yet the world is saying global growth. What I love is that there is a Catch 22. A lot of new ships came online in jan 2012 while steel slipped. Now Ships have to be scraped, thus more scrape steel which kills Met coal and ore, causing less demand for ships, etc.
Perhaps the two of you could remind us of your brilliant $AAPL calls.
Sell orders flying across my screen on GSVC
At mid-morning break the ‘Older Than Dirt Gourmet’ says Starbucks K-Cup is too bitter, edgy. Much prefer GMCRs Sumatra Reserve.
doubled my clne pos
thats why wooden spoons are superior
Yep. Don’t be alarmed, nor astonished, when door bell and appliance men deliver new appliance LeFly.
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