iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,533 Blog Posts

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING, IDIOTS

I will not warn you again. Therefore, let this be your final warning: Santa Claus is coming and his reindeers are going to bite your faces off. You can talk all the shit you want about “ominous this” and “scary that.” However, at the end of the day, you’ll be getting punched in the face with Portuguese dinner plates, not me.

“The Fly” reserves his finest stock market moves for December through February. So you know, I consider these months the most important months of the year, as an investor. The final month closes out the year. And, the first two months of a new year sets the tone. I’ve always managed to rip tits during this time of year, partly due to my God-like demeanor. The other parts have much to do with my “Space Alien Magician” ways.

Once again, just in case you’re reading this blog for the first time ever: I don’t fucking lose, ever. And, moreover, I don’t fucking like you very much. Let that tide you over until you wake up late for work tomorrow morning. One more thing before I go: quit reading my website dressed like a fucking harpoon maker. This is a tier one blog, only reserved for the finest of gentlemen. If you do not own a top hat, I suggest you ask a family member to buy you one for Christmas. You should be dressed to impress, suit with tie (the official uniform of business), at all times, even on the weekends—whenever you read iBankCoin.

More on this shit, along with other things, tomorrow.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

33 comments

  1. Come get me

    Why are you so negative?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. A Monkey with a Top Hat
    A Monkey with a Top Hat

    Beautiful.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. Frog with Top Hat

    All of us here with our top hats on.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. Frog with Top Hat

    I bet Fly is negative in order to let off steam. Trading without ever letting off steam causes people to
    self-destruct. Contrary to popular belief, a little negativity never hurt anyone, especially when done in a blog to the world in general, as opposed to targeting individuals.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. Jg

    Harpoon Maker rofls in my waffles

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. dan

    What, no monocle? Fucking amateurs.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. Gtotoy

    Is there a back exit? – Of course. But this Santa’s going out the front.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. The_Real_Hmmm

    And all of the iPhones were packaged with care, while the FOXCONN employees swayed in the air.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. WikiLeakage w/ Suspenders
    WikiLeakage w/ Suspenders

    Santa’s ops got bit by Stuxnet. No Xmas presents for kiddies this year.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. Goldie

    Every time I read this blog it’s like the 1st time. Long eggnog,sugar cookies and Reindeer food!! Bring it Santa!

    HO HO motherfucking HO

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  11. BurBerry Chav

    MORTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL KOOOOOOMMMBAAAAAT !!!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  12. BurBerry Chav

    B3@RSH1TT3R – fly turd indeud — smoke on the way up – vindictive on the way down.. noob

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  13. theedge111

    The fly has been extremely successful navigating this tape. I must admit I do not have a top hat but I think it’s a nice idea.

    Nonetheless, the problems we see in Europe and the US are not holiday friendly.

    These problems are structural in nature and cannot be plugged into bubble blowing robo trading machines.

    The Fly is god but I hope he understands this which I am sure he does. Santa does not really exist so the “Santa rally” is nothing but a myth based on a few decades of history that mean nothing given the economic nightmare we are living through.

    .

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  14. HuggieBear

    HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKERS…im happy as hell to wake up this morning to see tha Santa Claus has indeed arrived…this daily credit crisis shit was starting to get morose. ITS TIME TO GO ON A SHOPPING SPREE, XMas Style.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  15. Caesar, Who-lius

    I’m wearing multiple top hats, indeed

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  16. ibankfazmobile

    You are cute, Fly Boy.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  17. wilmer

    Harpoon maker…too funny.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  18. GoldBull

    I read this blog in my underwear.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  19. Septic Tanker

    Appropriate>>>>

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7s3uEQESVc

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  20. Cascadian

    Interpol is coming for Julian Assange:

    “”Assange’s details were also added to Interpol’s worldwide wanted list. Dated 30 November, the entry reads: “sex crimes” and says the warrant has been issued by the international public prosecution office in Gothenburg, Sweden. “If you have any information contact your national or local police.” It reads: “Wanted: Assange, Julian Paul,” and gives his birthplace as Townsville, Australia.””

    ~theGuardian

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  21. Dinosaur Trader

    Classic.

    -DT

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  22. Le Fly

    Dt!!

    Long time. Hope all is well.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  23. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Hey DT, Welcome back. I see the blog is still up.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  24. alphadawgg

    ROFLMAO!!!!

    Top hat, indeud!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  25. Tradingmantis

    Any thoughts on our wikileaks friend Julian Maestro Fly? (top hat firmly adorned while awaiting response)

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"